Duck and corn

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn.The bartender says,"We have no corn,get out of here."So the duck leaves.The next day he comes back and asks for corn again     

Duck and corn

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn.The bartender says,＂We have no corn,get out of here.＂So the duck leaves.The next day he comes back and asks for corn again,     

Hanging by a string

A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman refuses to serve him. The piece of string leaves the bar feeling sad. He walks down the road and then he sees two girls.     

English Joke

A A man walks into a shopand sees a lovely little dog.He asks the shopkeeper,“Does your dog bite?“The shopkeeper says,“No,my dog does notbite.“The man tries to pet the dog and the dogbites him.“Ouch!“He says,“I thought you said yourdog does not bite!“The shopkeeper replies,“That is not mydog!“     

English Joke

A A man walks into a shopand sees a lovely little dog.He asks the shopkeeper,"Does your dog bite?"The shopkeeper says,"No,my dog does notbite."The man tries to pet the dog and the dogbites him."Ouch!"He says,"I thought you said yourdog does not bite!"The shopkeeper replies,"That is not mydog!"     

那不是葡萄干

A kid walks into a lunchroom at school and sees a fly on the table. He swats it and leaves there. Another kid walks in, sees the dead fly and says, "Hey, cool, wings." So he pulls the wings and walks away. A third kid comes in, sees the dead fly, and says, "Hey look! Legs!" So he pulls the legs and leaves there. A fourth kid comes in and he also sees the dead fly. He leans over to look at it and pulls off its head. Then, the first kid comes back, sees it and says, "Hey, look, a raisin," and he eats it.     

天堂之路

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years,the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the barand tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father,shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Twoarms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing,begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!     

聪明的金发女郎

A blonde[金发女郎] walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer[信贷员].She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security[抵押] for the Ioan,so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce[劳斯莱斯].     

YOU&ME阶梯幼儿英语 I See a Koala

Story:Kathy and Leo are in the jungle.They see many cute animals.Leowalks to a tree and says,”I see a koala.”The koala smiles to Leo.Kathy walks to another tree and says,”I see two monkeys.”Themonkeys are drinking the coconut juice.They also meet an Indianfriend,Roxy,in the jungle.They are so happy.     

He is not my father!

A well-dressed(穿戴好看的) man gets into a restaurant one day.He sits down at at able near the window.A waiter comes up to him and says,Can I help you?The man says,Can I see the menu?Certainly.The man wants a good meal and he     

轻松一刻(英文)

You Know It A woman walks into an exotic pet shop, where next to the door she sees a parrot. "You're ugly!" the parrot says to her without warning. Visibly upset, the woman goes to the manager to voice her displeasure. The concerned     

教你正确用(十) 一字的多种用法(英文)

A few days ago Ⅰ saw a sign on the Fourth Beltway (四环路) in Beijing,which says: "No Drunken Driving."Two thoughts hit upon me when I saw the sign. The first thought:Isn't it a bit too late when a drunken driver sees this sign?The second thought: How drunk is too drunk to drive a car?     

No More Housework!

1.It's five o'clock in the eveningwhen Rene comes home from work.She walks into the living room(起居室)and looks at her three children.The children are 14,13,and 9 yearsold。They are watching TV.The livingroom is a mess(乱七八糟)。     

Ladies First

Little Red Riding Hood goes to see her grandmother．On the road．Mr Bear comes towards her．“Ladies first．”says Mr Bear and he gets off the road．Little Red Riding Hood walks and walks and comes to a bridge     

Cat Scan

A man takes his motionless dog to the vet."Doc,I think my dog is dead.”The vet looks the dog over, goes into a backroom,and comes out with a cat.He places the caton the table next to the dog.The cat walks aroundand sniffs at the dog.The dog does not move.The     

阅读理解五则

A mother and her young son get into a bus in a small city and sit down. The bus conductor comes to them for their money. The mother says, ＂I want one ticket（票） to the zoo,＂ and gives him one yuan. The conductor looks at the small boy for a few seconds and then says to him, ＂How old are you, young man？＂ The mother begins to speak, but the conductor stops her. The boy says： ＂I＇m four at home, and two in the buses.＂ At last the mother has to take fifty fen out of her pocket and gives it to the conductor.     

A Fashion Show

Story: The yearly fashion show day.The children take turns to walk on the stage and show the class their favorite clothes.Now it’s Joe’s and Phoebe’s turn.Joe walks on the stage and says,“My shorts are blue.Do you like my blue shorts?”On the other side of the stage, Phoebe is wearing her favorite pink skirt.“My skirt is pink.Do you like my pink skirt?”asks     

A Bad Day

A little guy is sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink for about a half-hour. A big trouble-making truck driver comes up to him, takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down.The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says:     

Fun Time

Drunk In the afternoon,a father and his little son are going home.At this age,the boy is very interested in all kinds of things and is always asking questions.Now,he asks,"What's the meaning of the word ‘drunk’,dad? Well,my son,"his father replies (回答),"look,there stand two policemen.If I regar (把 ……看作) the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But,dad," the boy says,"there's only one policeman!"     

Jokes and Humor

My Wife Will Exchanqe Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves(手套)．“Cloth or leather(皮革制品)?”asked the salesman(售货员)．“Makes no difference．” replied cus- tomer．