Humour

A strict RuleTom's mother made it a rule that if he came to the dinner table late he was not allowed to speak a single word during the meal. Yesterday he didn't arrive until everybody had sat down,. As soon as he entered the room he began with. "I say, mother…"but his mother quickly reminded him of the rule.     

一杯牛奶可以温暖我们一辈子

One day,a poor boy who was trying to pay his way through school by selling goods door to door found that he only had one dime left.He was hungry so he decided to beg for a meal at the next house.     

英语幽默二则

Once, a fellow went into a restaurant and ordered a two-pound lobster. "Waiter," he said when his meal was placed before him, "this lobster has only one claw."     

You May Need Them Later

A man is going to the house of a friend. It is quite far away and so he takes some sandwiches(三明治) along for his lunch. As he goes along,he says to himself,"My friend is sure to give me a very nice meal.He is going to give me good wine (葡萄酒) to drink.So what's the use of these dry sandwiches?"As he says this,he throws them on     

He is not my father!

A well-dressed(穿戴好看的) man gets into a restaurant one day.He sits down at at able near the window.A waiter comes up to him and says,Can I help you?The man says,Can I see the menu?Certainly.The man wants a good meal and he     

英格兰最胖的人

安迪真的喜欢吃东西,每天他都早晨吃5碗冰淇淋,中午吃2碗,晚上吃10碗。他还吃5袋炸薯条,每顿3个比萨饼。他去麦当劳的时候,还要4个汉堡包。因为他非常胖,不得不穿一件非常大的衬衫。一天,他吃得非常多,想到外面走走,竟然连门都过不去。“哎哟,我的天啊!”他的妈妈说,“他只能呆在房子里了。”安迪真的该节食了。Andy really likes food.Every day he eats five bowls of ice-cream1thmorning,two2lunch and ten in the evening.And he3five bags of French friesThree pizzas with every meal.When he goes to4,he asks for four hamburg…     

你是容易被骗的女游族吗?

Are you a vulnerable lady traveller?As many Japanese female travellers adopl open sexual attitudes, other Asian lady travellers might he misunderstood To avoid the unfortunate, it is best to stay alert-you would rather give up opportunities tobefriend foreign friends than to let down your guard. Even a shared meal or an unplanned trip together may mislead the other party to think that his advances at a later stage will be allowed.     

开心天地

一次,一位客人进入餐馆,他点了一只两磅重的龙虾。“服务员,”他指着端上来的龙虾说,“这只龙虾为什么只有一只爪?”“对不起,先生,”服务员回答说,“因为龙虾有时会在水槽里打架。”“噢,如果是这样的话,”顾客说,“请把打赢的那只给我拿来吧。”Once, a fellow went into a restaurant and ordered a two-pound lobster. “Waiter,”he said when his meal was placed before him, “this lobster has only one claw.”“I’m sorry, sir,”the waiter replied, “but sometimes the lobsters fight in the tank.”“In that case,”the…     

STORY：THE LION AND THE MOUSE

A lion is walking in the forest. He is big and strong. He is looking for his meal because he＇s very hungry.     

看医生

欢迎来到日常用语加油站加油。我们的口号是:让你的日常用语永远跑在最前面!“阿嚏--”,天气太冷了,小袋鼠得了感冒。袋鼠妈妈带他去河马医生的诊所看病。河马医生问他:()A.How are you?B.Are you OK?C.What’s wrong with you?小袋鼠回答说:()A.I’am fever.B.I have a fever.C I take a fever.经过河马医生的仔细检查,确诊小袋鼠是得了重感冒。于是,河马医生给小袋鼠开了药,并认真嘱咐小袋鼠要按时吃药,他说:()A.Take the medicine after meal.B.Eat the medicine after meal.C.Drink the medicine after meal.他还告诉小袋鼠要好…     

阅读理解二则(英文)

(A) One day, Mr Black went into a restaurant. He put his coat on achair near the door. There was nothing in the pockets of his coat. Afterhis meal he put on the coat, then he found there was much money in oneof his pockets. He immediately realized that someone else had taken hiscoat away by mistake. “Whose coat is this?”he thought. He saw a waiternear the door, so Mr Black said to him, “Somebody put a lot of money inmy coat. I have no time to wait for him. I have to go. Return it to him,please.”The waiter took the money and went away. A moment later, an-other man came with a coat just like Mr BlackKs. “IKm sorry, ” said theman. “I took your coat and you got mine. Please give me my coat and the     

红色的小羽毛

从前有一对夫妇,很穷,常常挨饿。那男人常常到森林里(打猎),但他不是个好猎手,有时带回家的仅是一只小鸟。1. There once lived a man and his wife. They were very poor and always hungry. The man often went to the forest, but he was a bad hunter and sometimes brought home only a small bird.一天,他又到森林里去了,但对他来说这是很糟糕的一天:他连一只小鸟也未找到。他又累又伤心,便在一棵树下坐下来休息,接着他便听见一只鸟儿动听的歌声。2.O ne day he went to the forest a-gain.But it was a very bad day for him:he di…     

酒怎么会少?

有个财主很愚笨。有一天,他买回来一桶酒,并在桶盖上贴了封条。1. There was a rich man who was stupid. One day, he bought a bucket of wine and he pasted a seal on the cover of the bucket.他让仆人将酒放到酒柜上,准备过年时自己享用。2.He let his servant place itin the wine cabinet so that he might drink it for himself during the New Year.他的仆人在桶底钻了个小洞。每天偷喝一些酒,然后用东西将小洞塞好。3.His servant dug a little hole into the bottom.Every day he drank a little wine.Then he tucked the l…     

MY WONDERFUL BEDROOM

I＇m Cici. This is my happy and warm family. My father and mother are both journalists. They are busy working every day. My father is handsome and humorous. He often tells me a lot of interesting stories. My mother is a pretty lady. She＇s good at cooking. Every evening we sit around and enjoy a delicious meal. Mike, my elder brother, is my idol. He＇s an excellent boy. He has studied abroad for five years. Now he works in an international company in the center of Shanghai.     

一位年轻人和蜜蜂

1. One day a young man had to stop his car soon after he had started for London because he heard a strange noise from the back of his car. 一天,一个年轻人开车向伦敦出发。不久,他不得不停下车,因为他听到了从车后传来的一阵奇怪的声音。     

A Straw Hat Seller

１.Once upon a time，there lived a straw hat maker in a small village．He often went to the market to sell his straw hats．从前，在一个小村庄里住着一个做草帽的人。他经常到集市上去卖草帽。２．One day when he got to a monkey hill，he felt hot and tired， so he lay down for a rest under a large tree with a straw hat covering his face．一天，当他走到一座猴山时，感到又热又累，于是便躺在一棵大树下，脸上盖上一顶草帽休息起来。３．When he woke up，he suddenly found no straw hats on the ground．     

易混词语辨析

1. meal dinner meal是一日三餐的总称,它通常用作可数名词。如: We have our evening meal at about a quarter past six.我们大约六点十五分吃晚餐。I have three meals a day.我一天吃三餐饭。dinner是个比较正式的词,常指一天中的一次正餐。说请某人吃饭时,常用invite sb.to dinner。应该注意at dinner,to dinner,before dinner,after dinner等词语里dinner前面没有定冠词the。如:     

一句多译练写作

经常练习一句多译，即用同义、近义词语或不同的语法结构、句式来表达相同的意思，是提高书面表达能力的重要技巧。句例：1.虽然他很年轻，但知道的很多。a.Although/Though he is young，he knows a lot.b.Although/Though he is young，yet he knows a lot.c.He is young，but he knows a lot.d.Young as he is，he knows a lot.注：“虽然……但是……”英语用although/though引导从句，主句不可用再but（要排除汉语用法的干扰），但可用yet或still；用as引导从句时要用倒装句。2.这张桌子需要修理。a.The desk needs/wants/requires …     

幽默四则

Ⅰ.His FaultBilly:Mother,Bobby broke a window. Mother: How did he do it? Billy:I threw a rock at him and he ducked. 他的错比利:妈妈,波比打破了窗玻璃。妈妈:他怎么打的?比利:我向他扔石头,他躲开了。     

少年比尔·盖茨

As a child - and as an adult as well - Bill was untidy.It has been said that in order to counteract this,Mary drew up weekly clothing plans for him.On Mondays he might go to school in blue,on Tuesdays in green,on Wednesdays in brown,on Thursdays in black,and so on.Weekend meal schedules might also be planned in detail.Bill Gates hated wasting time,whether at work or during his leisure time.