Humor

年轻女子在左边车道上轻快地开着车。突然, 也没有任何指示, 她向右急拐, 险些撞上另一辆车。     

Humor

Christmas Gift A Christmas survey(调查)showed that men spendmore time looking for gifts(礼物)for their bosses(老板)than for their wives,but women spend moretime shopping for their pets(宠物)than theirspouses(配偶). This wouldn't happen if spouses remembered thetruth. Your wife is the boss and your husband is adog.Problem solved(解决).     

Humor

Teacher:Tom,do you know what’s the meaning of “Don't trouble trouble till trouble troubles you”?Tom:It means you’d better not raise your bands if you can't answerthe teacher’s questions.     

Humor

许多人喜欢看英语幽默,因为它既可以锻炼你的英语水平又可以让你会心一笑,何乐而不为呢?可有些人却对英语幽默的内涵了解甚少,这是为什么呢?究其原因,英语幽默是建立在英语语言文化基础上的,如果单纯以汉语的思维去看,就会失去它原本的意义了。实际上,英语幽默是有它的构成手法的,了解一些它的构成手法,英语幽默就不难懂了。     

Humor

老师:我在你这个年龄的时候,能按顺序说出所有总统的名字。爱利克丝:当然,那个时候只有5位总统。     

English Humor

IprayedmoresnowAfterasnowstormthatclosedalltheschools,theteacheraskedaneight-year-oldboyifhehadusedhisextratimeconstructively.“Yes,”hereplied,“Iprayedformoresnow.”ComputerUserWaitingintheelevator’scorner,Iwatchedwithfascinationasawomangoton,pushed“2”andthen“4”.Theelevatorascended,stoppingatbothfloorsbutshedidn’tgetoff.“Youmissedyourfloor,”Icom-mented.“I’mgoingtothetwenty-fourthfloor.”“Butyoupushedtwoandfour.”“Oh,no。”Shewailed,“I’vebeenonthecomputertoolong.”?English …     

Humor Corner

Peter wakes up one morning and notices that his eyes are bulging and his ears are protruding. Naturally, he become very concerned. So he goes to his doctor and asks him what is wrong with him. The doctor tells him that he has a rare disease that will require several months of medication - however the medication will     

Humor Page

Silly Sue was on vacation in Australia where there were many shoe stores selling crocodile shoes. She too wanted a pair of those, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.     

Jokes and Humor

Fine for Parking "Tell me again," asked the judge, "why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully, "Because, Your Honor, it said'Fine for Parking'." (note: "fine" has two meanings 1.good;2.pay some money for doing something wrong.)S elf…     

Jokes And Humor

WhenDoPeopleTalkLeast?StudentA:Whendopeopletalkleast?StudentB:InFebruary.StudentA:Why?StudentB:BecauseFebruaryistheshortestmonthofayear.人们什么时候说话最少?学生甲:人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙:二月。学生甲:为什么呢?学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。ABirthdayPresentHelen:Mum,doyouknowwhatI’mgoingtogiveyouforyourbirthday?Mum:No,dear,whatisit?Helen:Aniceteapot.Mum:ButI’vegotaniceteapot.Helen:No,youhaven’t.I’vejustdroppedit。生日礼物海伦:妈妈,你知道你过生日我会送你什么礼物吗?妈…     

Jokes and Humor

ImitationAschoolboywenthomewithapaininhisstomach.“Well,sitdownandeatyourtea,”saidhismother.“Yourstomach’shurtingbecauseit’sempty.It’llbeallrightwhenyou’vegotsome-thinginit.”ShortlyafterwardsDadcameinfromtheof-fice,complainingofaheadache.“That’sbecauseit’sempty,”saidhisbrightson.“You’llbeallrightifyouhadsomethinginit.”模仿一个小男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛。“来,坐下,吃点点心,”妈妈说,“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西,就会好的。”一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回来了,说是头痛。“你头痛是…     

Jokes and Humor

When we want to tell other people what we think,we can do it with the helpof words or with the help of signs.We sometimes move our heads upand down when we want to say“yes”, and we sometimes move our heads     

Jokes and Humor

My Wife Will Exchanqe Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves(手套)．“Cloth or leather(皮革制品)?”asked the salesman(售货员)．“Makes no difference．” replied cus- tomer．     

Jokes and Humor

只有一次一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手,”记者说。“他过去是。”那人回答说。“你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗?““只有一次,”那位驯狮新手说,“为了找我爸爸。”     

Jokes and Humor

学法语儿子:爸爸,法语难学吗?父亲:我的孩子,开头是难,可往后就变得容易了。儿子:太好了!那我就学后半部分。1.T o L earn FrenchSon:D ad,is French difficult to learn?Father:M y boy,at the beginning it is,butafter that it becom es easy.Son:That’s great。I’ll learn the latter half.父与子父亲:汤姆,你要知道,当林肯在你这年龄时,他是一个很好的学生。事实上,他是班里最好的学生。汤姆:是的,爸爸,我知道。可当他在你这个年龄时,他已是美国总统了。2.T he Father and H is SonFather:Y ou know,Tom,when Lincoln wasyou…     

Jokes and Humor

你爸爸帮你了吗？；我没把头发全剪掉啊!。     

Jokes and Humor

(1)Oneafternoon熏MaryandherlittlebrotherTomwereplayinghide-and-seekinthestreetjustoutsidethepostoffice.MaryhadshuthereyeswhenTomno鄄ticedthatthesmalldoorofanearbyletter鄄boxhadbeenleftopen.Thepostmanhadjusttakenallthelettersoutandgoneintothepostoffice.Tomclimbedintotheletter鄄boxandshutthedoorfromtheinside.Whenheknewhecouldnotgoout熏hebe鄄cameveryfrightenedandcried.Atthesametime熏Marywaslookingforhimeverywhere熏butcouldnotfindhim.Thenshecamebacktotheletterboxagainandheardherbrothercryingini…     

Johes and Humor

愚蠢的问题丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天,有数千人经过他的门口。其中许多人停下来问他:“请问, 现在几点?”几个月后,丹自言自语:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了。我要去商店买一只大钟。然后把它挂在这儿的墙上。”他买了一只钟,把它挂在了墙上。“现在人们不会再停下来问我时间了。”他快活地说。可是打那以后,每天许多人都停下来,看看钟,然后问丹:“这钟准吗?”     

Jokes and Humor

MrWhiteworkedinanoffice.Everymorninghehadbreakfastwithhiswifeathalfpastseven熏readhisnewspaper熏drankacupofcoffeeandthenlefthishouseat8o’clocktogotocatchhistraintotown.Onemorninghewasstillsittingcomfortablyatthebreakfasttableandreadinghisnewspaperatfiveminutespasteight.Hedidnotseemtobeinahurryandaskedhiswifeforanothercupofcoffee.“Anothercup芽”sheasked.“Butaren’tyougoingtotheofficetoday芽Haveyougotaholi鄄day芽”“Theoffice芽”hesaidandlookedupfromhisnewspaperverysurprised.“Ithoughtthat…     

Jokes and Humor

I C aught E very Step M r Brown was reading his evening paperw hen there cam e a trem endous banging down thestairs.H e jum ped up熏ran to the hall熏and dis鄄covered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor. “ ” Did you m iss a step芽 asked his dad. “ ” N o熏I caught every blessed one选 cam e thebitter answer. 我一级也没漏 布朗先生在看晚报,忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。他跳了起来,跑到厅里,发现自己上了学的儿子四脚朝天地躺在地上。 “你是不是踩漏…