How old was the woman?

A woman was having some trouble(毛病 ) withher heart(心脏 ) ,so she went to see the doctor.Hewas a new doctor,and did not know her,so he firstasked some questions,and one of them was,“Howold are you?“Well”,she answered,“I don't remember,doctor,but I will try(尽力 ) to think.”She thoughtfor a minute and then said,“Yes,I remember now,doctor!When I married (结婚 ) ,I was eighteen yearold,and my husband was thirty.Now,my husbandis sixty,I know,and that is twice(两倍 ) thirty.So Iam twic…     

At the Court

A man had to go to court, and he asked his lawyer which judge would be hearing (审理) the case. His lawyer told him and asked:“Do you know him?”The man answered:“No, but I wanted to know his name so that I could send him a dozen bottles of good wine.”     

猴子与鳄鱼

They swam slowly.Suddenly,the mother crocodile saw the monkey,“Oh,a monkey! How nice if l have it for my dinner!” Then she said to her son,“My son,do you love me? Yes,of course,” the baby crocodile answered.“Well,can you see that monkey? I want to eat his heart.Can you go and get it for me?” the mother crocodile asked.“All right.”     

数数总是管用的吗？(英文)

A young man couldn’t sleep well every night. He was always worried. So he went to see the doctor. The doctolooked over him carefully, but there was nothing wrong with him. The doctor told him to count from one to ten againand again.“Keep doing it till you fall asleep.”the doctor said.A few days later, the young man came to the doctor again. But to his surprise, the doctor found the young man waeven worse than before.“Didn’t you do as what I told you?”the doctor asked.“Yes, I did,”he…     

I''''m Looking For Something

One day,Jack was reading a cartoon book in class．Unfortunately,he was noticed by the teacher．Then,the teacher came to him and asked seriously,“What are you doing?”Jack answered immediately,“Sir．I’m looking for something．”“Looking for what?”asked the teacher．     

Mr Smith and the Doctor

Mr Smith was ill and he went to see a doctor. The doctor asked him toput out his tongue(舌头),and then he said,“OK.You can put your tongueback now. There’s nothing wrong with you,but I'm afraid you have aproblem:you seldom take exercise.”。“But,doctor.”Mr Smith said,“I don’t think so.”“Don’t tell me what you think,“the doctor said.“I know what yon need.     

巴黎历险记

“Gosh!We havc just escaped the jaws ofdeath!And now we fall into the tiger's mouth!”Isaid to myself.The four sturdy men glared at uslikc tigers eyeing their prey.Fortunately they werenot gangsters, but unfortunately they wereplain-clothes policemen.They frisked us one byonc.My kitehen knife was found.but not my iden-tity card.“Who are you?Why are you here?Why doyou have a knife?”they asked me.“I am a Chinesestudent.I followed my French friends to discoverthe Catacombs in the tunnels.I brought a knifc,because I want to protect myself,”I answered.Myfriends in the adventure backed me up:“Yes.it istrue.We invited him to follow us and suggestedhim to bring something to protect himself.And weare students!Sorry.we forgot to bring our identitycards.”Obviously their faces were good enough toprove their identity and innocence.“Good,you     

It's Dangerous for Me

A man always went to the same bar at the same time every day and asked for twoglasses of beer, He would drink them and then ask for two more. One day the barman asked him: “Why do you always ask for two glasses of beer? Why don’t you order one bigglass instead?”“Because I don’t like to drink alone”, the man answered.“I drink with myfriend.” But a few days later the man came in and asked for only one beer. “Oh, has your friend died?”asked the barman.     

阅读理解专练

A Last Saturday,our school organized a tal- ent show to raise money for charity．It was a great success．Students took an active part in it．and we raised 20．000 yuan in all．After the show．I interviewed three stu- dents．First．I talked with Liu Hong．In the tal- ent show,she danced the ballet(芭蕾舞)．“How long have you been dancing the ballet?”I asked．“For about six years．”she answered．“Why do you Iearn it?”“I think it’s beautiful and I want to be a professional dancer when I grow up．”     

Jokes and Humor

Fine for Parking “Tell me again,“ asked the judge, “why you parked there?“ The driver rose and answered respectfully, “Because, Your Honor, it said‘Fine for Parking‘.“ (note: “fine“ has two meanings 1.good;2.pay some money for doing something wrong.)S elf-helpI went into a bookstore one day and askedthe woman behind the counter where theself-help section was.She said,“If I told you,that would defeat the whole purpose.”(note:“self-help”has two meanings1.you take with-out paying;2.you can choose as you like)I...     

Humour

Tom came to a small restaurant for lunch. Somehow he wanted to go to the toilet, but he didn't know where it was. He asked a waiter who was passing by."Just follow the flies !" answered the waiter.Mum: Naughty boy! Did you fight with others? Look! You have had you     

The Power of Strong Will

Nothing is difficult to the man who has a strong will (决心). Long long ago, there lived two monks (和尚), one is tall and the other is short. Some day, the tall monk said to the short one, “I want to travel Wutai Mountain (五台山), can you accompany me?“ “On what do you depend for going there?“ asked the short monk. “A bottle and a bowl are quite enough for me,“ answered the tall monk. “Well, I have been trying to go there many years but failed. I bet you will wind up being failed like me. How could you be succes...     

A JOKE

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked,“Did God make you,Grandpa?”“Yes,God made me,”the grandfather answered.A few minutes later,the little girl asked him,“Did God make me too?”“Yes,He did,”the older man answered.For a few minutes,the little girl seemed to be studying     

I Am Using My Pencil

Over the doctors telephone came a call from a man who said that hilittle son had swallowed his pen. The doctor said, “I'll come at once.What are you doing in the meantime(在此期间)?”“I am using my pencil,”the man answered.I Am Using My Pencil!山东@石继忠     

完形填空训练

One dayTomwent out tolookfor work.He went fromplaceto place,1 couldnot findajob.Inthe afternoon he came to a 2.He went into the office building and 3 the door ofa bigroom.There he sawafat man 4 at a desk.“5 do you want?”the man asked.“I amlooking for work,”answered Tom.“Any kind ofwork?”the man asked.“Anykindofwork,please.I am 6,yousee.”Tomsaid.The manlooked at Tom 7 a longtime andthen he said,“We have got enough 8 in ourfactory.We want 9.Get out.”Tomturned around.When he was g…     

完形填空四则(英文)

AOne day a lawyer's wife fell i1and he went to get a doctor. The doctor went to see the woman, but before he went into the house he stopped. He knew that the lawyer never paid his b2. So he said to the lawyer, "But if I c3 your wife, I'm afraid you may not pay me."Sir," replied the lawyer," Here!have 500 dollars. Whether you cure my wife or whether you kill her,I will give you all t 4"The doctor was s5of the payment and went into the house. When he reached the woman's bedside,he knew at …     

Two Dogs

Presto the wizard （巫师） ran into the room with his magic ball and said, ＂I saw him! I saw Paws!＂＊ The others （其他人） were very excited＊. They came to look into the magic ball. ＂What are you looking for＊ in my ball？＂ asked Presto.＂Paws, of course＊!＂ they answered. ＂In my magic ball？ But I saw him through （通过） the window.＂ Paws walked through the door. ＂Paws, we are so glad to see you!＂ Everyone was very happy.     

Perspectives

One　day　a　father　and　his　richfamily　took　his　young　son　on　a　trip　tothe　country　with　the　firm　purpose　toshow　him　how　poor　people　can　be.They　spent　a　day　and　a　night　in　thefarm　of　a　very　poor　family.　Whenthey　got　back　from　their　trip　the　fa-ther　asked　his　son,　"How　was　thetrip?" "Very　good,　Dad!" "Did　you　see　how　poor　people　canbe?"　the　father　asked. "Yeah!" "And　what　did　you　learn?" The　son　answered,　"I　saw　that　w…     

20只猫与一个猫碗(英文)

A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked veryold. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat , was lying besidethe bowl. The man did not want the farmer to know that he was interested in bowl. So he said to him softly, “What anice cat you have? Will you sell it to me?”“How much will you give me for the cat?”the farmer opened his eyes and asked.“Twenty dollars. Would t…