双语幽默小笑话

如果我是一个经理 一天上课,老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文,所有的学生都在动笔写了,只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。 “我在等我的秘书。”那孩子答道。     

幽默与笑话

不许唱；费尽心思；爸爸没在家；透明体；三百零八根。     

幽默笑话

正结果语文老师讲完"缘木求鱼"这个成语后,请同学们再接一个意思相近的成语。一男生答:"杀鸡取卵。"老师道:"错了,‘缘木求鱼’指的是做没有结果的事情!"男生坦然道:"老师,我杀的是公鸡!"学生考博面试,主考官问我大学是哪年毕业的。我是2000年毕业的,结果一激动说道:"两千年前……"主考官"哦"了一声:"是孔子的学生吧?"留言一位留级的同学在毕业纪念册上这样写:"各位同学,我还有事,你们先走吧。"上升豆豆:"爸爸,今天应该为我发奖啦,这次考试,我的名次又上升了一位!"爸爸:"说说看。"豆豆:"我由     

幽默笑话

假如早晨急着上班,不小心撞到一位太婆,连忙道歉:"不好意思,没看到。"这时太婆发话了:"我理解,现在的年轻人都这样,这要是几十年前的我,你肯定老远就看到我了。"起床时间甲:夏天你什么时候起床?乙:第一缕太阳光照进我窗口的时候。甲:那不是太早了吗?乙:不,我卧室的窗口是朝西的。     

笑话与幽默

A. He Said NothingMum: What did your father say when he saw hisbroken watch?Boy: Shall I leave out the swear-words, Mum? Mum: OK. Boy: Then I don' t think he said anything.     

幽默与笑话

妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴．汤米回来后，妈妈问他．“你买的是好用的火柴吗？” “是的，妈妈．”汤米回答“我把它们都试过了．”     

幽默与笑话

只有一只 教师：汤姆，有一次我看见桌子上有四只苍蝇，抬手打死了一只。请你告诉我桌子上还剩几只苍蝇？汤姆：只有一只，就是您打死的那只。教师：答对了，我想你是一位聪明的学生。     

幽默与笑话

A surprise! We had just moved into a new school district （地区）, when my brother was invited to a surprise birthday party. He didn＇t want to go, because he couldn＇t remember ever meeting the birthday boy.     

笑话与幽默

A.What is Courage?什么是勇敢?There was an exam of composition in the class. The title of it was "What is     

幽默笑话

1.我发现经常上网有三大弊端:第一,记忆力越来越差。第二,数数经常会数错。第四,记忆力越来越差。2.生物课上,老师提了一个问题:人体肌肉分为三种,请问是哪三种?一个同学不幸被叫到回答问题。这位同学慌慌张张站起来,看了看老师,低头和同桌低语,然后得意洋洋地答道:"分为瘦肉、肥肉、五花肉三种。"     

笑话与幽默

A. NEED A NICE HAIR-CUTBarber: Your hair needs cutting badly. Customer: No, it needs cutting nicely. You cut it badly last time.     

幽默与笑话

马克斯韦尔有些失眠,就请医生开了点药。当晚,他服用了几片,酣然入睡,直至早晨才醒来。到办公室后他告诉老板：     

幽默与笑话

情况是糟，还是更糟？ “生意做得怎么样？”迈克走进朋友开的服装店问道。 “糟透了，”约翰抱怨，“生意简直糟透了，昨天我才买了一件衣服，今天更糟。”     

幽默笑话

落榜的原因一个富家之子去考试,父亲事先考了他一下。成绩很好.满以为一定能录取了。不料榜上竞没有儿子的名字。父亲赶去找县官评理。县官调来卷查看,只见上面淡淡一层灰雾,却看不到有什么字。     

幽默与笑话

Call Me a Doctor! While sitting on the train one day,the man next to me started screaming, ＂Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!＂ I asked, ＂Are you sick？＂ ＂No,＂ he replied, ＂I just graduated from medical school.＂     

幽默与笑话

Visiting Grandpa
A 6-year-old goes to the hospital with her Grandma to vsit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa＇s room.     

幽默与笑话

Peculiar Order
A visitor at a seaside hotel called over the head waiter at breakfast one morning and said： ＂I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it＇s runny, and the other so overcooked it＇s tough and hard to eat. Also grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it With a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it＇s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm.＂