沉默的声音

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks.By nightfall on the first day,the candle began to flicker and then went out. I The first monk said, "Oh,no!The candle is out."The second monk said,"Aren't we not supposed to talk?" The third monk said, "Why must you two break the silence?"The fourth monk laughed and said, "Ha! I'm the only one who didn't speak."     

2 Jokes

公牛和母牛老师问学生:句子“公牛和母牛都在田野上”语法对不对?大多数孩子说:“是的,是正确的!”但是只有一个小男孩说:“不对,这不正确。应该‘女士优先’。”Ox and CowA teacher asked her class,“Is thesentence‘The ox and the cow are in thefields’correct?”M ost of the children said,“Yes,thatis right!”But only one little boy said,“No,itis not correct.The lady m ust be m entionedfirst.”老师哭了六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母,他想要什么不…     

英语幽默

Lady First A teacher asked her class:"Is the sen- tence'The ox and the cow are in the fields'correct?" Most of the children said:"Yes,it is all right!" And only one little boy said:"No,it is not correct.The lady must be mentioned first."     

四减四等于几?

one day,the teacher asked Peter,“How much 15 fourminus four?,’Peter eouldn,t answer it. The teacher got angry and said,“What a fool!You see,if1 put four eoins in your Pocket,but there 15 a hole in yourPoeket and all of them leak out.And what 15 left in yourPocket?” “The hole,”rePlied Peter. 一天,老师问彼得:“四减四等于几?”彼得答不出来。 老师生气地说:“真笨!你想,如果我放四个硬币在你的口袋里,但你的价墩里有个洞,结果四个硬币都漏掉了。那么,你的口黛里还有什么?” “洞,”彼得答道。四减四等…     

幽默两则

1.Two BirdsTeacher:H ere are two birds,one is a sw al-low,the other is sparrow.N ow w ho can tell uswhich is w hich?Student:I can notpointout,but I know theanswer.Teaher:Please tell us.Student:The sw allow is beside the sparrowand the sparrow is beside th…     

Five Little Evergreens

Five Little Evergreens outside in a row.The first one said,"Let's look at the snow."The second one said,"Oh-oh,it's getting cold."The third one said,"Chiristmas is coming so I'm told."The4fourth one said,"I hope someone decorates me."The fifth one said,"We'll just have to wait and see."Five Little Evergreens…     

小幽默二则

The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum(疯人院)one inmate shouted,"I am Napoleon!"Another one said,"How do you know?"The first     

Five Little Evergreens

Five Little Evergreens outside in a row.The first one said,“Let‘s look at the snow.“The second one said,“Oh-oh,it‘s getting cold.“The third one said,“Chiristmas is coming so I‘m told.“The4fourth one said,“I hope someone decorates me.“The fifth one said,“We‘ll just have to wait and see.“Five Little Evergreens     

Jokes and Humor

1.M iss the F irst E ight O nes。Jane was late.A nd she asked a m anwho was sitting next to her,“Excuse m e,what is being perform ed on the stage?”Them an said,“Beethoven’s ninth sym phony.”H earing this,she regretted,“O h。I shouldn’thave been so late.I m issed the firsteightones。”我错过了前八个呀!简迟到了。她就问坐在旁边的男士:“请问,台上在演什么呢?”男士说:“贝多芬的第九交响曲。”一听这话,她后悔了,“唉!我真不该迟到。我错过了前八个呀!”2.L ucky or U nluckyA young m an saw a beautiful girl carry-ing a cat in her hands on his w ay hom e.The young m an said,“I wish I w ere acat。”The ...     

幽默好家风(二)

"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the little boy. "Yeah,she's home," the boy said,scooting[迅速跑开] over to let him pass. The salesman rang the doorbell,got no response[应答],knocked once,then again.Still no one came to the door.Turning to the boy,the fellow said,"I thought you said your mother was home ! ?"     

Jokes & Cartoon

<正> Two ducks were out on a lake, one wasfeeling happy and the other one was feelingupset. When the one duck asked the otherduck: "How was your anger therapy session?"The other duck replied:"He said I was in need     

名人轶闻趣事(英文)

Washington Cutthe Trees Washington was the first president of America.When he was a boy,he cut his fathers two cherry trees.His father returned and gotvery angry.He said to himself,“If I found out who cut my trees,I would give him a good beating.”The father looked everywhere.When he asked his son,Washingtonbegan to cry.“I cut your trees!”Washington told the truth.The father carried his son in his arm and said,“My clever child,I would ratherlose one hundred trees than you should tell…     

分苹果

正[英语原文]Harry was given two apples,a small one and a large one,by his Mum.Share them with your sister,she said.So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.Cor!said his sister,If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.Well,said Harry,that's what you've got,so what are you worrying about?[汉语翻译]妈妈给了哈里两个苹果,一个大一点儿,另一个小点儿。"你跟妹妹分着吃。"妈妈说。所以,哈里就把小个的苹果给了妹妹,自己开始啃那个大个的。     

The Fastest Father

Three boys were bragging( 吹牛, 自吹) about theirfathers.The first one said, "Myfather runs sofast that he canshoot ( 射) an arrow ( 箭) , start running, and get therebefore the arrow! "     

STORIES ABOUT ANIMALS

A mouse and a lionOne day a mouse went out to find something to eat.He ran carelessly through some tall grass.He ran into a big lion.The lion caught him,held him tightly(紧紧地)and would not let him go."Please let me go,Mr Lion,"said the mouse."One day I will help you." The lion laughed and thought,how a little mouse could help a big lion!Then he said,"Very well,I will let you go.But you must walk more carefully." "Thank you,"the mouse said."You are very kind." The next week the mouse was again looking for something to eat.He saw the lion had fallen into a net of strong ropes.He could not move.The mouse cut one of the ropes with his teeth and then the other.Soon the     

I Have No Money!

A man went into a bar, sat down, called the barman and said to him, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts."一个人走进酒吧坐了下来, 然后叫 来服务生, 并对他说“:先给我一杯喝的 吧, 待会儿麻烦就来了。”The barman was busy with other peo- ple, so he did not say anything, but he gave him the drink, and the man drank it quickly. Then he put his glass down, called the barman again and said to him, “Give me another one before the trouble starts.”服务生忙着招待其他的客人, 所以他什么也没有说, 把一…     

运动场上乐翻天

1.Two baseball pitchers[投手] promised each other.If one of them died first,he would come back as a ghost to tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. Then one of them died and came back as a ghost and said,"I have some good news and some bad news." The other person said,"Tell me." So the ghost said,"The good news is that there is baseball in heaven,but the bad news is that you are pitching tomorrow."     

Jokes and Humor

Fine for Parking “Tell me again,“ asked the judge, “why you parked there?“ The driver rose and answered respectfully, “Because, Your Honor, it said‘Fine for Parking‘.“ (note: “fine“ has two meanings 1.good;2.pay some money for doing something wrong.)S elf-helpI went into a bookstore one day and askedthe woman behind the counter where theself-help section was.She said,“If I told you,that would defeat the whole purpose.”(note:“self-help”has two meanings1.you take with-out paying;2.you can choose as you like)I...     

这条小鱼也在乎

那天去儿子学校参加一年级家长开放日活动。听完课,儿子得意地牵着我的手来到教 室后面的“学习园地”前,胖乎乎的小手指着一条贴满小红星的小鱼对我说:“妈妈,班上数 我那条小鱼最棒,上面的红星最多。”一股喜悦涌上我的心头,我摸摸儿子的小脑袋算是一 种肯定与奖励。这时我惊奇地发现,儿子那条“最棒的”小鱼边,有一条小鱼却是那么无助、 孤寂和暗淡——它竟然没有一颗小星星与它作伴!再仔细看,这样的小鱼竟有两条,还有 四五条也只有少得可怜的几颗小星星装点门面。我的心里很不是滋味。难道这几条小鱼不 在乎吗?凭着十多年的教学经验,我可以肯定地说:“不!每条小鱼都在乎!”他们在乎的是 那份肯定和赞赏,在乎的是对他的理解和尊重,在乎的是校园集体生活那份特有的快乐。 当我们在设计类似“比一比,哪条小鱼星星最多”等激励性活动时,作为教育工作者,我们 应该给这些原本活泼的“小鱼”带去些什么呢?     

颜色

一天,一只小老鼠问了一个问题:“太阳是什么颜色的?”小鸟说:“太阳是绿色的,它把叶子照绿了。”青蛙说:“太阳是黄色的,它把稻穗照黄了。”蝴蝶说:“太阳是红色的,它把花照红了。”小鱼说:“太阳是蓝色的,它把大海照蓝了。”One day a mouse asks a question. "What color is the sun ?" A bird says, "The sun is green . It makes the leaves green." A frog says, "The sun is yellow . It makes the rice heads yellow." A butterfly says, "The sun is red . It makes the flowers red." A fish says, "The sun isblue.Itm ake…