英语小幽默

现实 一位理科教师被分配到一个偏远的山村学校工作。第一课,他给学生讲了什么是现代科学以及它如何促进了人类的进步。他还谈到宇宙飞船及人类如何登上月球等。课结束时,他问学生有什么问题。     

英语小幽默

随着人类社会文化的发展与进步，缤纷的色彩不仅停留在人们的视觉上，而且也反映在人们的感情、意识、情绪和爱好等诸多方面。与此同时．在语言上也形成了大量与颜色有关的习语。     

英语小幽默

Three Reason TEACHER:Tom,give me three reasons why youknow the earth is round? TOM:My mother says,my father says,and yousay so. 三个理由老师:汤姆,你能告诉我三个理由,来证明地球是圆的吗? 汤姆:我妈这么说,我爸这么说,还有,你也是这么说的!     

英语小幽默

译文: 一、谁最懒 父亲:本,今天我同你的老师交谈过了,现在我想问你一个问题,在你们班里谁是最懒的? 本:我不知道,爸爸。     

英语小幽默

Impossible to obey The school girl was sitting with her feetstretched far out into the aisle,and was busily chewing gum,when the teacher espiedher.     

英语小幽默

The family调查员:What is your father’s name? 小弟:Happy(高兴)!! 调查员:What is your mother’s name? 小弟:Smile(微笑)! 调查员:Are you joking(开玩笑)? 小弟:No!!,That’s my sister!!I am kidding(捉弄)!! 调查员:Byebye!     

英语小幽默

一个小朋友的爸爸是工程师,他吹嘘说阿尔卑斯山是他爸爸设计的;另外一个小朋友的爸爸是海军,他针锋相对,吹嘘说……读完下面的故事,你一定会忍俊不禁的!此外,如果你对这个栏目有好的意见或建议,请来信告诉我!“双语空间”明年将有更加精彩的内容奉献给大家!主持人：开心果     

英语小幽默

The Cat and CourserA courser raised some fish.One day,He wanted to go hunting. The cat said to the Courser, "Don't worry! I will take care of     

英语小幽默

Real Play When I taught the introduction-to-theatercourse at North Dakota State University,I required mystudents to attend the university theater’s currentproduction and write a critique.After viewing a partic-ularly fine performance,one student wrote:”The playwas so real,I thought I was actually sitting on mycouch at home,watching it on television”     

英语小幽默

NO MONEY STUDENT:YOu look broken uD.What’s the matter? Roommate:1 wrote home formoney a strong lamp. STUDENT:Well? ROOMMATE:They sent a lamp! 缺钱 学生:你愁眉苦脸的。怎么啦? 窒友:我给家里写信.要钱买学习灯 学生:然后呢? 室友:他们寄来了一盏灯。If it’S true the world’S gettinqsmaller,why do they keep raising theprice of the postage. 邮费 如果这个世界真的越来越小。那为什么邮费总是在涨?elevision will never completely replace the·ape卜——’nO one can swat a fly with it. 报纸的优点…     

英语小幽默

(一)OnlyOneInstanceMr.HenryBeecherenteredPlymouthChurchoneSundayandfoundseverallettersawaitinghim.Heopenedoneandfounditcontainedthesingleword“Fool”.Quietlyandwithbecomingseriousnessheannouncedtothecongregationthefactinthesewords:“Ihaveknownmanyaninstanceofamanwritingaletterandforgettingtosignhisname,butthisistheon-lyinstanceIhaveeverknownofamansigninghisnameandforgettingtowritetheletter.”译文:傻瓜来信一个星期天,亨利·比切先生上普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的几封信。他打开其中一封,发现信…     

英语小幽默(英文)

(一) In Chinese class, the headteacher said to the whole class, "Remember, everybody! Rome could't have been founded within one day! " Certainly his words are quite reasonable. That's to say, all the students should study harder. However, what is interesting is that the next class is a history lesson. By the middle of     

英语小幽默(英文)

Math,Physics,& PhilosophyDean,to the physics department.”Why do I always haveto give you guys so much money.for laboratories and expen-sive equipment and stuff.Why couldn’t you be like the mathdepartment-all they need is money for pencils,paper andwaste-paper baskets.or even better.like the philosophy de-partment.All they need are pencils and paper.”     

英语小幽默(英文)

Boss’s idea When my printer’s type began to go faint,I called a repair shopwhere a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only tobe cleaned.Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such clean-ings,he told me,it would be better for me to read the printer’s di-rections and try the job myself.Pleasantly surprised by his words,Iasked.”Does your boss know that you discou rage business?””Actually it’s my boss’s idea,”the employee replied”Weusually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repairthings themselves first.”     

英语小幽默(英文)

we just go off route 119 Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speedingdrivers.a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22MPH.He thinks to himself,“This driver is just as dangerous asa speeder!”So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.     

英语小幽默(英文)

-,HalftheTimeAmotherwastalkingtoherlittleboy熏“Now熏Billy熏youshouldn’tbeselfwithyourtoys.I’vetoldyoutoletyouryoungerbrotherplaywiththemhalfthetime.”“That’swhatI’vebeendoing熏”saidBilly,“Itakethesleddoingdownhill熏andhetakesitgoingup.”玩一半时间一位母亲对她的孩子说:“听着,比利,你在使用玩具上不应该那样自私。我已经跟你说过要让弟弟玩一半时间。”“我一直就是这样做的呀,”比利说,“我把雪橇滑下去,然后他再拿上来。”YouCan’tFlyTeacher押Ihearyouliveclosetotheriverbutyouneverlearnedtoswim.…     

英语幽默

Lady First A teacher asked her class:"Is the sen- tence'The ox and the cow are in the fields'correct?" Most of the children said:"Yes,it is all right!" And only one little boy said:"No,it is not correct.The lady must be mentioned first."     

英语幽默

Sooner or later(A thief w as brought before the judge.)Judge:H ave you ever stolen things?Thief:O h,now and then.Judge:A nd w here have you stolen these things?Thief:O h,here and there.Judge:R ight!O fficer,lock him up.Thief:H ey,w hen do I get out jail?Judge:O h,sooner or later.法官:你偷过东西吗?小偷:常常如此。法官:你在哪偷的这些东西?小偷:到处都偷。法官:好的!警察,把他铐上。小偷:喂,我什么时候可以出狱?法官:噢,迟早都会的。迟早都会(一个小偷被带到法官面前。)ClevernessO ne day a father w as t…     

英语幽默

1.TwoBirdsTeacher:Herearetwobirds熏oneisaswallow熏theotherissparrow.Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich芽Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.Teacher:Pleasetellus.Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesidetheswallow.两只鸟老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是燕子,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?tetoth么一道学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。老师:请说说看。学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。“Canyoutellmewhatfishnetismadeof熏Ann芽”theteacherasked.“Alotoflittleholestiedtogether…     

英语幽默

刀和鼓妈:他爸,我觉得邻居非常不喜欢咱们圣诞节时给约翰尼买的新鼓。爸:为什么?妈:他们给了他一把小刀,并问他是不是想知道鼓里面是什么样的。