Funny Stories

Chaplin and a fly One afternoon when Charlie Chaplin(卓别林)was sitting together with his friends talking,a fly flew into the room and kept flying around Chaplin’s head.Chaplin waved his hand to drive it away,but the fly soon came back again.For once it even rested on his nose!Chaplin got angry.He took up a fly-swatter(苍蝇拍)and swung at it,but the fly got away in time.     

Funny Stories

"You are the first one You one!"One day,a man saw a fisherman standing beside a lake with a mirror."Excuse me,"he said."Could you tell me what are you doing?""Im fishing.""Fishing with a mirror?"the man asked."Sure,it’s my new interest,"answered the fisherman."Could you tell me how it works?"     

Funny Stories

布莱克夫妇昨天傍晚想去看一场电影.他们不能把儿子单独留在家里,因为他只有10个月大.他们只得把他带到电影院.当他们进去的时候,一个工作人员拦住了他们,说道:"如果你们的小孩子哭了,你们必须出来,但是你们可以把钱拿回去." 40分钟以后,布莱克先生问他的妻子:"你认为这部电影怎么样?""太无聊了."他妻子回答说."我也不喜欢这部电影,我们把儿子叫醒,让他哭起来吧!"     

Funny Stories

AOnce a great boxer (拳击家), Tom Brown, went to a restaurant for dinner. He put his bag near the door, but he was afraid that someone would take it away. So, he got out a pen and a piece of paper and wrote on it, "The great boxer, Tom Brown, left his bag here. He will come back soon." He put the paper in his bag     

哈哈镜

白痴和电锯 一个傻子走进一家五金店。他看到一个电锯广告,说该电锯l小时能锯6棵树。傻子对此深信不疑,于是买了它。然而,第二天,傻子把电锯拿回店里说：“这个电锯不合格啊。我花了一天的时间才锯了一棵树。”店员十分疑惑．拿起并打开电锯检查什么地方出了毛病。     

几则奇妙却真实的故事

一只幸存的猫 在美国田纳西州一个叫巴特利特的地方,有一只还未被驯服的猫把头卡在一个罐子里,并带着这个罐子度过了19天。这只猫由25岁的塔比瑟·凯因喂养多年,她管它叫Wild Oats。塔比瑟·凯因一家人多次看见这只猫头上罩着一个花生酱罐子,他们想将它捉住却未成功。在这只猫一周都没有出现后,塔比瑟·凯因一家担心极了。     

三曹滑稽拾遗

汉代滑稽盛行,三曹除以传统的形象示人外,他们还有鲜为人知的滑稽的一面。无论是曹操的"为人佻易无威重"、曹丕的"技能戏弄,不减若父"还是曹植的"启后世小说调侃法门",都能让人饶有兴趣地看到汉末思想解放在他们身上的具体体现。     

交通也幽默

1 A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound off on the aviation freq uencies.This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.Instead of following the proper protocol when reaching the tower, he said： ＂Guess who？＂ The controller switched the field Ughts off and replied：＂Guess where!＂     

Funny Dialogues

A Customer:What are these pennies (硬币) in my soup? Waiter:Well,sir,you said you'd stop eating here if there wasn't some change in the food.     

Funny Talk

期待已久的万圣节前夜就要到了。瞧,熊妈妈和小熊正在为万圣节前夜制作鬼脸南瓜灯呢!熊妈妈做得好认真啊!可小熊好像被别的东西吸引住了。请你发挥丰富的想象,给它俩设计几句对白,然后把对白写下来(最好能用英文),寄到编辑部或发到编辑部的电子邮箱。你的对白就有可能被评为"最具想象力对白"刊登在《英语大王》上了!     

Funny Questions

1.A friend of mine says to me that his son is only four years old,but can speak English fluently and clearly.Though I don't believe it,that's true.Why? 2.An orange fell to the ground dirtied.If there is no water,how can I clean it and eat it? 3.Neither a plane nor a bird am I,though you can see me in the sky.Full of water,yet not a river or the sea.What do you think I can be? 4.Jim wanted to go into the house.He brought out the key and opened the door.But whatever he did,he couldn't push the door.     

Funny Dialogues

A Carpenter(木匠):You hammer(锤打)like lightning(闪电). Helper:You mean I'm fast? Carpenter:No,I mean you seldom strike the same place twice.     

Funny Questions

1.What must you keep after giving it to someone else? 2.Who can stop a truck with one hand? 3.What are the strongest days of the week? 4.Where does Friday come before Thursday? 5.Which travels faster,heat or cold? 6.Why did he throw a clock out of the window? 7.When should you kick about a birthday present? 8.It is yours,but others use it more than you do.What is it ? 9.What room has no walls,no doors,no floors,and no windows? 10.How are a teacher and a railroad conductor (列车员) alike? 11.Why are we always tired (累) on the first of April? 12.What is the longest sentence in the world? 13.What is the difference between a hill and a pill (药片) ? 14.What part of a clock is always old?     

Funny Questions

1.Who knows how many stars there are in the sky? 2.Do you write with your left hand or right hand? 3.What has two legs but can't walk? 4.I have eyes,but I can't see.What am I? 5.How can you change a lady into a boy? 6.When is my uncle's sister not my aunt? 7.What two things can't we have for supper? 8.What is it that was tomorrow and will be yesterday?     

Funny Dialogues

A Manny:Do these stairs take you to the ninth floor? Danny:No,you have to walk by yourself.     

Funny Talks

A Lady:Don't be afraid of the dog.You know the old proverb,"A barking dog never bites."(谚语:吠犬不咬人.) Sam:You know the proverb.I know the proverb.But does your dog know the proverb? B Diner:Bring me some soup and make sure a fly isn't in it.Yesterday there was a fly in my soup.