A Moment at the Supermarket

Saleswoman:Good afternoon.What can I do for you?女售货员:下午好。想买点什么?Customer:Yes,I’d like a pound of pork,please.顾客:请给我一磅猪肉。Saleswoman:Anything else?女售货员:还要别的什么吗?Customer:YeS.I’d also like a pound of garlic.顾客:我还要一磅大蒜。Saleswoman:I’m sorry.I’m all out of garlic.女售货员:对不起。大蒜卖完了。Customer:Oh.do you have any chilli?顾客:哦,有辣椒吗?     

前面五个词

Customer:To what do you owe your extraordinarysuccess as a house-to-house salesman? Salesman:To the first five words I utter when a woman opens the door.“Miss,is your mother in”? 顾客:作为一名推销员,您走家串户,您靠什么获     

英语角

1·学习阶梯(Step by Step商店购物对话一则:Customer(顾客):May I see a hat(帽子)please?Salesman(售货员):What size do you take?(您戴几号的?)Customer:I’m sorry.I don’tknow.     

无处不幽默

Waiter and Customer A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant.He found a fly in the coffee,so he called the waiter. Customer:How do I drink this coffee! Waiter:Don't you know how to drink coffee? Customer:Waiter,see,there is a fly in my coffee. Waiter:Oh,yes sir.You are right! There is a fly in your coffee.     

Jokes

Clean FliesCustomer: Oh, God! So many flies in the dining hall!Waiter: Don蒺t be afraid, sir. They are not dirty at all.Customer: Why?Waiter: Because they have been in the kitchen since they were born. And mind you, our kitchen(厨房) is very clean.Where Does God (上帝) Live?Teacher:Now, Susan, can you tell us where God lives?Susan: Yes, Miss. I think he lives in the bathroom.Teacher: In the bathroom? Why?Susan: Because every morning I can hear my father knock on the bath-room door a…     

假发

Customer:YouhavecutmyhairlikethishowcanIgoout?Barber:Dontworry,sir.Wehavewighere.顾客:你把我的头发理成这样,我怎么出门呢?理发师:别急,先生。我们这儿也卖假发。假发@李红霞     

ENGLISH JOKES

(A)Ned:Why do you always wear two watches?Ted:I need to see how slow the other one is.(B)Passenger1:Excuse me,does this train stop at New Town?Passenger2:Yes,just watch me and get off one station beforeme.(C)Diner:Waiter,your finger is in my soup.Waiter:That's all right.It's so used to(惯常)the heat,I hardlynotice it.(D)Customer:I'd like to try on(试穿)that dress in the window(橱窗).Salesgirl:Sorry,madam,but you'll have to use the dressingroom(试衣间).(E)     

First Gold of Olympics Goes to Yi Siling

Chinese shooter Yi Siling got a score of 502.9 points and became the first gold medal winner of the London 2012 Olympics. Yi Siling,speaking after receiving her medal from International Olympic Committee Chairman Jacques Rogge,said:"I'm very excited and happy.I want to say thanks to China,to my mother and father.I have been away from home for more than a year and now I miss my family a lot."     

Winner

On the evening of July 13th, I heard the exciting news that the 2008 Olympic Games will be held in Beijing.We are all wild with joy. China is the winner in the competition and it will be a rich prize for her.In modem times, there are more and more     

开心笑吧

一天放了学,Tom和爸爸在聊天。Father:Who is the laziest in your class?汤姆,你们班里谁最懒?Tom:I don’t know,daddy.我不知道,爸爸。Father:You should know.Who doesn’t read or write,but just look here and there in class?你应该知道。谁在班里不读不写,只是到处看?Tom:The teacher.老师。AnswerCustom:Waiter,can you explain why the fly is in my soup?Waiter:It’s swimming,sir.答案顾客:服务员,你能解释一下我汤里的苍蝇是怎么回事吗?服务员:他在游泳,先生。Riddles猜谜语1.I can see it,but you can’t.What is i…     

Do you like me?

I'm a girl of thirteen years old. I'm tall and thin with short hair. People say I look like my father. I am good at math and I like English very much. I can play the guitar very well. I want to be a guitar player when I grow up. I have a lot of pen friends. They are very friendly to me. We learn from each other. Of course, I'm getting on well with my classmates. I can help them with their English and math. Next week, our school will have an English contest. I think I will be the winner,…     

Funny Dialogues

A Customer:What are these pennies (硬币) in my soup? Waiter:Well,sir,you said you'd stop eating here if there wasn't some change in the food.     

生活美语会话

HAPPINESS Linda:You look happy today! Frank:I am happy.I just heard I passed my physics exam. Linda:Congratulations ! I'm glad somebody's happy. Frank:Why? What's the matter? Linda:Oh,I'm just worried,I guess.I have to take a history exam next week. MISTAKES Bruce:Where did John go? Laura:He went to the drugstore (杂货店). Bruce:To the bookstore? Laura:No,I said he went to the drugstore. Bruce:Oh,I misunderstood you.I thought you said bookstore. Laura:How could you make a mistake like that? Weren't you paying attention?     

奥斯卡新晋影后桑德拉·布洛克创造历史(英文)

The best actress winner 2010 was not put anywhere near contention months ago.But the Best Actress winner emerged from nearly nowhere to win, much like the other acting winners.Jeff     

幽默精选(英文)

InaRestaurant1)Customer:Waiter,theresadeadbeetleinmysoup.Waiter:Yes,Sir,theyarenotverygoodswimmers.2)Customer:Waiter,theresaflyinmysoup.Waiter:Thatsallright,Sir,hewontdrinkmuch.3)Customer:Waiter,theresaflyswimminginmysoup.Waiter:Sowhatdoyouexpectmetodo,callalifeguard?4)Customer:Waiter,whatsthemeaningofthisflyinmyteacup?Waiter:Iwouldndknow,Sir,Imawaiter,notafortuneteller.InSamsHouse1)Dad:Yourteachersaysshefindsitsimpossibletoteachyouany-thing!Sam:ThatswhyIsayshesnogood!2)Dad:Sam,howc…     

Units 10-12主题口语乐园

Can you play the guitar?【情景对话】Wang:What can I do for you?Maria:I want to join the clubs.Wang:OK,what clubs do you want to join?Maria:I want to join the swimming club.Wang:Why do you want to join the club?Maria:Because I like swimming.Wang:你需要我帮忙吗?Maria:我想加入俱乐部。     

友谊是最珍贵的礼物

Lani: Why the long face? Cody: Huh? No, I was just remembering the time I met the Hang 5. I worshiped those guys. Seeing them surf made me who I am today.     

生活美语会话（英文）

正Linda:You look happy today!Frank:I am happy.I just heard I passed my physics exam.Linda:Congratulations!I'm glad somebody's happy.Frank:Why?What's the matter?Linda:Oh,I'm just worried,I guess.I have to take a history ex-am next week.MISTAKESBruce:Where did John go?Laura:He went to the drugstore(杂货店).Bruce:To the bookstore?     

Birds

Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is spar- row.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是燕子,另一只是麻雀。谁能指出 哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。 老师:请说说看。 学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。     

校园英语幽默四则

两只鸟老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是燕子,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。老师:请说说看。学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。1. Two BirdsTeacher: Here are two birds, one is aswallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tellus which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know theanswer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrowand the sparrow is beside the swallow.鱼网" 你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。" 把许多小…