幽默与笑话

A Tasty Meal A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the States, he called her. "Hi Mom," he said. "How'd you like the bird I gave you?" "It was delicious."     

每个女人都美丽

A little boy asked his mother "Whyare you crying? "Because I'm a woman," she toldhim," I don' t understand," he said, His mum Just hugged him and sald, " And you never will."Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.Rinally he put in a call to God;and when     

One Way To Make Friends

"What's the matter, Bob?" asked his mother. "Why do you look so sad?" "I don't have anyone to play with," Bob said. "I wish we had stayed in Salt Lake City. I had friends there."“You will soon make friends here, ” said his mother. “Wait and see!” Just then there was a tap on the door. Mrs Miller opened it. There stood a woman with red hair. “Hello, ”she said.“I9m Mrs Carey. I live next door.” “Come in, ”said Mrs Miller.“Bob and I are so glad to see you.” “I came to ask fo…     

英语幽默(英文)

I, You and shePeter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: I, YOU and SHE. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, “I, I am your teacher;(then pointing to a girl) she, she is your classmate; you, you are my student.”When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, “I, I am your teacher;(then pointing to his mother)she, she is your classmate;you, you are my student. ”H…     

幽默与笑话(英文)

A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday.When he got back to the States,he called her."Hi,Mom,"he said."How’d you like the bird I gave you?""It was delicious." "You ate the bird!"the guy shrieked."He was very expensive.He could talk!"     

A Student''''s Composition

One day,a middle school teacher came into his classroomand said to his students:"Today I want you to write about yes-terday's football match.I'm going to take your exercise-bookshome with me.Now, please starmt."     

初中英语阅读专项训练

The Lost Ring One day a man went home to his wife and said,"I have bought something for you.""Oh,thank you"said his wife."What have you bought?""I've bought a gold ring.Here it is."He held it out for his wife to see.Then he     

STORIES

A A famous doctor once attended a little boy who was dangerously ill.Thanks to his skill and care his young patient got well,and soon able to get up and run about again.The child's mother was very grateful,and she called on the doctor to thank him for what he had done for her son. "Doctor," she said,"you have saved my little boy's life.I don't know how to thank you enough.I felt that money alone can't repay you,but I have made this little purse with my own hands and I hope you'll accept it."     

Jokes and Humour

Good IntentionsOne day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, Pa wants to know if you like roast pig."I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I     

Catherine

Mrs Green was cooking dinner. She called her daughter. "I want you to set the table Catherine," she said. Catherine liked to help her mother. "Do you want me to use thegood tablecloth ?" she asked. "No. " her mother said. "Use the blue doth." Catherine put the blue tablecloth on the table. Then she got     

幽默三则

Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arrn."It's a prize, mother,"heexplained."A prize?What for,dear?" "For natural history. Teacherasked me how many legs anostrich has and I said three." "But an ostrich has only twolegs."     

英语小笑话

I want a nightmare想做坏梦Before the final examination,Tom told his mother,"Mom,I had a dream last night that I’d passed today’s exam.""Don’t trust dreams,dear.It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite."Mother replied."Then I do hope I’ll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight."Tom said.     

笑话三则

一More cake, pleaseTom came home from school one day with a black eye. “What happened to you?”asked his mother. “I had a fight with Billy,”Tom said, looking very sad. “Well, tomorrow give him this cake and make friends with him,”said his moth-er.Tom did as she said. But the next day he came home with another black eye! “Not again!”said his mother. “Who did that to you?”“Billy,”said Tom. “He wants more cake.”二Mary was so disgusted at her husband’s cigarette smoking that she …     

BABY SISTER

A boy had to take care of his baby sister because his parents went shopping. He decided to go fishing so he took her with him. "I'll never do that again! " he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said. The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."     

STORIES

A John was the only son of a wealthy American businessman.Usually he was taken to school by the driver in his father's beautiful car before the driver took his father to the office.One evening father told him that he had to go to the airport early the next morning,so he would need the car in the time that John had to go to school.He said that John's mother,who had another car,would still be in bed at the time he had to leave the house."Well,how shall I get to school if you need your car and Mum's still in bed?" John asked.     

他的耳朵在我的衣兜里

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?""A kid bit me,"replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?"asked his mother."I’d know him any where,"said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问:"发生了什么事?""一个男孩咬了我一口。"伊凡说。"再见到他时,你能认出来他吗?"妈妈问。"他走到哪里我都能认出他,"伊凡说。"他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里呢。"     

Stop the Rain!

"It's raining s and s!"said . "Let's pick up from school today." put on his and and ran to the .drove slowly down the road. "I can the rain,"said ."Abracadabra SWISH!"The rain stopped.Then it started again.     

A TASTY MEAL

A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the Stateshe called her."Hi Mom".he said."How'd you like the bird I gave you﹖" "It was elicious." "You ate the bird"the guy shrieked "He was very expensive. He could talk." "well,if he was so smart". replied the mother"Why didn't he say something﹖"A TASTY MEAL…     

The Big Day

"Get up, Jack," said Bill. "This is the day I go to school with you and Rose." " Get up fast Jack. This is the big day!"     

为什么这样晚来学校?(英文)

The teacher asked Tom:"Why did you come to school solate this morning?""Someone lost one yuan."Answered Tom."Oh,now I know,you helped him find the money,"the teacher said."No,I stood on the money untilthe person went away,"was Tom's reply.为什么这样晚来学