READINGS

正It was a beautiful spring morning.There wasn't a cloud in the sky,and the sun was warm but not too hot,so Mr Green was surprised when he saw an old man at the bus stop with a big,strong black umbrella in his hand.Mr Green said to him,"Are you going to have rain today,do you think?""No,"said the old man,"I don't think so."Then are you carrying the umbrella to keep the sun off     

幽默故事

A Carol Roberts left school when she was seventeen and then thought,"What' going to happen now? I want to marry a nice young man and have some children,but no nice young men have asked me yet.Will I meet one soon,and will he want to marry me?" She spoke to her best friend about these questions,and the friend said,“Go and ask a fortune-teller (算命先生).Perhaps he'll give you the answer." So Carol went to see a fortune-teller.The man said to her,"I'll give you the answers to two questions.It'll cost you five pounds."     

Five Little Evergreens

Five Little Evergreens outside in a row.The first one said,"Let's look at the snow."The second one said,"Oh-oh,it's getting cold."The third one said,"Chiristmas is coming so I'm told."The4fourth one said,"I hope someone decorates me."The fifth one said,"We'll just have to wait and see."Five Little Evergreens…     

幽默(英文)

Taking a Taxi The old lady was going to take a taxi."Driver," she said, "I want you to take me to the station.""Yes, madam," said the driver.     

邀请(英文)

Awoman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard, She did not recognize them.She said,"I don't thik I know you,but you must be hungry.Please come in and have something to eat." 'Is the man of the house home?" they asked."No" ,she said."He's out." "Then we cannot go in," they replied.     

名人逸事(英文)

Albert Einstein’s Overcoat One day the famous American scientist Albert Einstein came across an old friend of his in a street in NewYork."Mr Einstein,"said the friend,"It seems that you need to have a new overcoat.Look,how wornout(穿得破旧的)it is.""It doesn’t matter,"answered Albert Einstein."No one knows me here in New York."     

运动场上乐翻天

1.Two baseball pitchers[投手] promised each other.If one of them died first,he would come back as a ghost to tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. Then one of them died and came back as a ghost and said,"I have some good news and some bad news." The other person said,"Tell me." So the ghost said,"The good news is that there is baseball in heaven,but the bad news is that you are pitching tomorrow."     

Going to the Sun during the Night

When the Americans were getting ready to send their first men to the moon, an old Irishman was watching them on television in the bar. There was an Englishman in the bar, too, and he said to the Irishman, ＂The Americans are very clever, aren＇t they？ They are going to send some men to the moon. It＇s a very long way from our world.＂     

笑话一则(英文)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:"If you kiss me,I'll turninto a beautiful princess."He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said:"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,I willtell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."The man took the frog out of hispocket,smiled at it,and returned it to his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said,"If you kiss me and turn me back i…     

Old Jackel,New Jackel

"This blue jacket will fit*you,Iris,"said Mum.Iris looked at the jacket.It was her sister Dana’s old jacket."I don’t want that old thing,"said Iris."I want a new jacket.""But this is a good jacket,"said Mum."It will look good on you,Iris.*"Iris felt sad.She wanted a jacket just for her.Iris looked at the jacket.She wanted to make it special*.