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1.
1. Why Do You Never Phone Me?Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He once worked in a shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got a job in a town and lived there. Its name is Greensea. It is quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said,“There isn't a good job for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week.”  相似文献   

2.
Dumb and Dumber On vacation in Hawaii,my step-mom,Sandy,called a cafe to makereservations for7pm.Checking her book,the cheery young hostess said,“I'm sorry,all we have is6:45.Would you like that?”“That's fine,”Sandy said.“Okay,”the woman confirmed.Then she added,“Just be advisedyou may have to wait15minutes for your table.”My Widowed GrandmotherWidowed for the second time,my grandmother told me she probablywould not remarry.“You're still young,”I said.“Why not?”“When I marr…  相似文献   

3.
Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the…  相似文献   

4.
Looking for a W ifeFred was 32years old and he was still single.O ne day a friend asked,"W hy don tyou get m arried?Can tyou finda wom an w ho will be a good wife?"Fred replied,"A ctually,Ive found m any wom en I w anted to m arry,butw hen I bring them ho…  相似文献   

5.
一、AreYouGoingtoDance?Everybodywasdancingwhileayounggirlsataloneinanarmchair.Justthen,shewashappytoseeahandsomeyoungmancomingtowardsher.“Areyougoingtodance?”askedthemanwithasmile.“Yes,”shewhispered.“Good,”hesaid,“mayIhaveyourseatthen?”二、ANewSonOldman:MayIsithere?Youngman:No,youcant.Theseatisoccupied.Youngman(toabeautifulgirl):Eh...yes.Theseatwasforher.Sheismysister.Oldman:Really?ThenIamgladtoseeyou,mynewson.Youngman:Whatdoyoumean?Oldman:Thegirlismydaughter.三、WeCantSeeL…  相似文献   

6.
Bedtime PrayersJulie was saying her bedtim e prayers.“Please G od,”she said,“M ake N aples the capital of Italy.M ake N aples the capital of Italy.”H er m other interrupted and said,“Julie,w hy do you want G od tom ake N aples the capitalofItaly?”A nd Julie replied,“Because thats w hatIputin m y geography paper!”Jesus s T V SetchoolardenfnghA child on C hristm as tim e asked for som e paper and crayons inorder to draw a crib(耶稣诞生像).Eventually the artistic m asterpiecewas …  相似文献   

7.
1.An Early ShopperIt was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as hequestioned the prisoner.“What are you charged with?”he asked.“Doing my Christmas shopping early,”replied the defendant.“That7s no offense,”replied the judge,“How early w  相似文献   

8.
So Soon "Mummy, when is my birthday?" "On June 15." "What about yours?" "On June 10. "  相似文献   

9.
Passage 1A pregnant woman, accompanied by herhusband, went to see the doctor."Madam, exercise would be good for you," announced the doctor. "Walking is especially beneficial. Sir, it wouldn't hurt you to spend some time to take a walk with your wife!"Oh," said the father-to-be. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"  相似文献   

10.
幸福职工们在听关于“幸福”的报告,因内容空洞枯燥,台下人开小差了。“谈什么呀,炒股赚他十万八万,不幸福才怪哩.”“娶个倩老婆,幸福享不了。”“好啦,帮帮忙,婆娘肯做饭就算幸福了。”“给间小小的房子吧,幸福便在屋里开花结果.”  相似文献   

11.
A Hi, I am Natasha Obama. I am an American girl. I am 10. Do you know me?Here is a photo of my family. This is my father Barack Obama. He is the president (总统) of the USA now. And the girl next to (紧挨着) him is me. That is my mother Michelle Obama. She is very  相似文献   

12.
(A) Ten-year-old Barack Obama was one of only three black students at his school in Hawaii,US.He felt very different from most other students. White girls wanted to touch his hair.A white boy asked him whether his father ate people.I lied to them that my father was a Kenyan prince.But I  相似文献   

13.
幽默六则     
汤姆的借口老师:汤姆,你为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆:我每次路过拐角,都看见有个路标,上面写着:“学校___慢行”  相似文献   

14.
幽默六则     
父亲:孩子,考你一道题.树上有6只鸟,打死一只,还有几只?孩子:还有5只.父亲:笨蛋,那5只鸟不是吓跑了吗?孩子:因为您少了“树上”二字.②学生名师,为什么解放军叔叔射击时总是闭一R眼清芳目都是左眼含?老师:如果他两只眼都闭上,就什么也看不见了,一般都是各手指抠板机,放闭左眼.③父亲:儿子,伽学抽烟了吧?儿子:没有没有.父亲:没有?伽说话时嘴里还有一眼烟味.儿子:我已经激过D了,怎么还有烟$9④儿子:爸爸,在班上,班主任吉我是“四好’学生,我比三好学生还会一好嵋.父亲:人家都得三好,懒怎得“四好’华…  相似文献   

15.
幽默六则     
《考试》2010,(1)
你们有多少人一个美国人走进枪支商店:给我拿一支威力最大的手枪。您需要多少发子弹?那个美国人走到公用电话间旁打电话:喂,银行吗?请问你们有多少人?  相似文献   

16.
幽默六则     
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17.
幽默六则     
写病历某医生一向马虎,一次在病历上写了“肛门发‘言’”。主任医生发现后非常生气,在病历下方醒目地批上:“屁话”。一成不变一个大学教授写的讲义,“数十年如一日”。新学年开始,一个新生在听课时根本没有记笔记,教授奇怪地问他:“这是为什么?”学生说:“何必记呢?我从父亲那里已经借到讲义了。”回敬宝宝赚到一笔可观的外快,于是就去逛百货商店。宝宝走累了,便叫了一辆“黄包车”,高兴之余,乘在车上随口唱起歌来:“马儿啊!你慢些走慢些走哎……”车夫在前边拉车小跑着,听宝宝这么唱心里很不是滋味,想了想也唱了起来:“猪呀,羊呀,送到哪…  相似文献   

18.
幽默六则     
酬金酬金伍夫被控偷窃了一家体育用品商店。他找来了一位律师,要他替自己辩护。“可以,”律师说,“不过你得答应我两个条件:一是你要保证你没偷过;二是要付我100元酬金。”“第一条我完全可以保证。”伍夫说,“至于第二条———由于我手头现金不多,所以只能付50元,再加上一副网球拍、两只排球和三双滑冰鞋。您看怎样?”批评的权力在经过一场激烈的争论之后,作家对厨师说:“你没有从事过写作,因此你无权对这本书提出批评。”“岂有此理!”厨师反驳道,“我这辈子没下过一个蛋,可我能尝出炒鸡蛋的味道。母鸡行吗?”先让猫出来马…  相似文献   

19.
幽默(英文)     
Taking a Taxi The old lady was going to take a taxi."Driver," she said, "I want you to take me to the station.""Yes, madam," said the driver.  相似文献   

20.
幽默(英文)     
Ike:Myroofleaks.Mike:Whydontyoufixit?Ike:Canttoday,itspouringdownrain.Mike:Whydontyoufixitwhenitstopsraining?Ike:Becauseitdoesntleakthen.幽默(英文)@连琴  相似文献   

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