The Teacher and His pupil

Teacher: How much is half of 8? Pupil: Up and down or across? Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!     

太多

【译文】太多学生:我希望生活在古代。老师:为什么?学生:那样的话,我们就不用学那么多历史了!Pupil:Iwishedwelivedintheoldendays.Teacher:Whyisthat?Pupil:Wewouldn'thavesomuchhistorytolearn!太多     

Jokes

Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: The moon. Teacher: Why? Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.—M um,whatare you cooking?—It's bean soup!—I don'tcare whatithas been;Ijustwantto know whatitis now!“An abstract noun(抽象名词),”the teacher said,“is som ethingyou can think of,butyou can'ttouch it.Can you give m e an exam ple ofone?”“Sure,”a teenage boy replied,“M…     

JOKES

正A Teacher:Why are you late for school?Pupil:It was late when I started from home.Teacher:Then why didn′t you start early?Pupil:It was already too late to start early,sir.B Fred:Do fish ever sweat(出汗)?John:Of course they do.That′s why the water of the sea is so salty.     

出乎意料的回答

老师:什么东西只有大象才有其他动物没有? 学生:小象。 Teacher: What do elephants have that no other animals have? Pupil: Little elephants.出乎意料的回答@Booby     

About Scientists

Teacher:Can you tell me anything aboutthe great scientists of the 18th century?Pupil:Yes,sir,I can.They are all dead.     

The Train Runs Faster

Teacher:Why does a train run faster than(比)a car?Pupil:Because it has more wheels(轮子)than a car.     

A Liquid Won''''t Freeze

不会结冰的液体老师:有人能说说哪种液体不会结冰吗?小学生:热水!Teacher:Can anyonegivemethe name of a liquidthatwon'tfreeze?Pupil:Hot water!A Liquid Won't Freeze@小非     

小幽默

出人意料的回答Teacher:What do elephants have that no other animals have?Pupil:Little elephants.老师:什么东西只有大象才有,其他动物没有?学生:小象。负责Teacher:I need a responsible child to fetch me something.Lidia:I’ll go.Every time something happens at home,my dad says I’m responsible.老师:我需要一个负责的孩子去替我拿一些东西。     

Humour

IntheClassroomSchoolboy:Excuse me, Miss. I'm calling just to tell you I can't go to school today.Teacher:Why? What蒺s wrong?Schoolboy:I don蒺t feel well.Teacher:Where do you feel trouble?Schoolboy:In the classroom.ACleverBoyTom:Papa, can you write your name without opening your eyes?Father:Of course, I can.Tom:All right! Please write your name on my school report（成绩单）.WhyFishesOnlyLiveinWater?Father:Do you know why fishes only live in water and can蒺t live on land?Son:Yes, I…     

迷你空间

Teacher:“Find America on the map for me,Tom.”Tom:“It’s there,sir.”Teacher:“That’s right.Now,Sammy,who discovered America?”     

开心笑吧

Teacher:“Find America on the map for me,Tom.”Tom:“It’s there,sir.”Teacher:“That’s right.Now,Sammy,who discovered America?”     

FUNNY READINGS

Teacher:There are three words and pupils often use themin class.Do you know what they are? Student:I don't know…Teacher:Quite right. B Mrs Mouse takes her children for a walk and they meet a     

JOKES

ATeacher： Why are you late for school？ Pupil ： It was late when I started from home. Teacher： Then why didn＇t you start early？ Pupil ： It was already too late to start early, sir.     

Where Were You Born?

Teacher: Tom, where were you born? Tom: I was born in England. Teacher: Which part? Tom: All of me.     

Where Does God Live?

Teacher:Now,Joan,can you tell me where God lives?Joan:Yes,Miss,I think he lives in the bathroom.Teacher:In the bathroom?Why?     

小幽默欣赏

WHOSE MISTAKE?Teacher:(Looking through Toby9s homework)I wonder how oneperson could make so many mistakes!Toby:It wasn9t one person,sir.Father helped me.谁的错误?教师:(查看托比的家庭作业)我真不明白一个人怎么能出这么多错误!托比:老师,这不是一个人的错误,我爸爸帮我做了一部分。WOOLTeacher:What do we get from sheep?Boy:Wool.Teacher:You are quite right.And what do we make from wool?Boy:I don9t know.Teacher:Well,what9s your coat made of?Boy:My coat was made from my father9s old coat.羊毛…     

I…

Teacher:Ellen,give me a sentencestarting with"I".Ellen:"I"is……Teacher:No.Ellen.Al-ways say"I am".Ellen:All right.I am the ninth letterof the alphabet.     

魔法帽

Teacher：Find Australia （澳大利亚） on the map for me, Johnny.Johnny：It＇s here, sir.Teacher：That＇s right. Now Sammy, who discovered （发现） Australia？.Sammy：Johnny, sir.Miss Green：How many people ore them in your family？. Sam：TWo, They are my parents.Miss Green：？ There are three people in your filmily.     

funny story

1.Teacher:Tommy,name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Tommy:Me. 2.Substitute Teacher (代课老 师):Are you chewing gum(嚼口香 糖)? Tommy:No,I'm Tommy. 3.Teacher:How can one per son make so many mistakes in one day? Tommy:I get up early. 4.Teacher:Didn't you promise