English Joke

A A man walks into a shopand sees a lovely little dog.He asks the shopkeeper,“Does your dog bite?“The shopkeeper says,“No,my dog does notbite.“The man tries to pet the dog and the dogbites him.“Ouch!“He says,“I thought you said yourdog does not bite!“The shopkeeper replies,“That is not mydog!“     

English Joke

A A man walks into a shopand sees a lovely little dog.He asks the shopkeeper,"Does your dog bite?"The shopkeeper says,"No,my dog does notbite."The man tries to pet the dog and the dogbites him."Ouch!"He says,"I thought you said yourdog does not bite!"The shopkeeper replies,"That is not mydog!"     

A Cheap Meal

1)A man went into a restaurant. He ordered all the most expensive dishes and ate them with great enjoyment.2)Then a small boy came into the restaurant and sat at the man's table.The waiter said to the man:“what would your little boy like,sir?”3)“Oh,just an ice cream.”the man said. Then he stood up and said to the waiter:“I'm just going out to buy a newspaper.”4)The boy had eaten ice cream,then he stood up and walked to the door.5)The waiter said:“Excuse me, but your father hasn't come…     

You''''ve got a clue...not!

One afternoon,a man was sitting out on his porch enjoying the nice weather.Every few minutes,he would see his neighbor come out and check her mailbox.He began to look at his watch,and saw itwas in regular 3 minute intervals.After a while of this nonsense,the man called out,“Excuse me,miss,but why do you keep coming out and checking your mail?”     

阅读理解二则(英文)

(A) One day, Mr Black went into a restaurant. He put his coat on achair near the door. There was nothing in the pockets of his coat. Afterhis meal he put on the coat, then he found there was much money in oneof his pockets. He immediately realized that someone else had taken hiscoat away by mistake. “Whose coat is this?”he thought. He saw a waiternear the door, so Mr Black said to him, “Somebody put a lot of money inmy coat. I have no time to wait for him. I have to go. Return it to him,please.”The waiter took the money and went away. A moment later, an-other man came with a coat just like Mr BlackKs. “IKm sorry, ” said theman. “I took your coat and you got mine. Please give me my coat and the     

阅读理解精选

AA man went to buy a piece of meat.He askedthe butcher(屠夫 ) to tell him the way of cooking itbecause he didn't know how to cook meat.Thebutcher told him how to cook it.“But I can't remember your words,”the mansaid,“Will you please write your words down forme?”Thebutcher was a good man and he wrotehiswords down for the man.The man went homehappily with the meat in his hand and the note(便条 ) in his pocket.A dog saw the meat,jumped athim and took the meataway.The man stood there.He did…     

英语幽默故事集锦(英文)

1.That Man Knows the Future With a saw,Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden when a man passed by.The man stopped and said,"Excuse me,but if you continue to saw that branch like that,you will fall to the ground with it."He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting     

A Farmer

A man is driving down a country road,when he sees a farmer stand-ing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He drives the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there,doing nothing,looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car,walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him,“Ah,excuse me mister,but what are you doing?”The farmer replies,“I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize(诺贝尔奖).”“How?”asks the man,puzzled(迷惑不解).“Well,I heard they give the…     

笑话一则(英文)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:"If you kiss me,I'll turninto a beautiful princess."He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said:"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,I willtell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."The man took the frog out of hispocket,smiled at it,and returned it to his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said,"If you kiss me and turn me back i…     

I Love You, Father !

I have a great father. He is not only my father, but my teacher, too.When I was a little child, my father told me why and how to be a useful man to our motherland. He also pointed out the way in life tor me.He is the person whom I love best.     

Two Lies

Once there lived an old man. He liked listening to lies. He said, ＂Any man who can tell me two lies can marry my only daughter.＂ So a lot of young men in the country came to his house. But he said to all of them, ＂I＇m not pleased with your lies. I wouldn＇t give my daughter to any of you.＂ One day, a young man said, ＂It will be hot in the summer, so you should go out now and dig a big hole under the street. When the hot summer weather comes, you Will sell the cool air from the hole and get a lot of money.＂ ＂Oh, what a wonderful lie!＂ answered the old man.     

完形填空(英文)

通读下面短文,掌握其大意,然后从短文后各题所给的四个选项中选择最佳的一项。A man was walking along the street when he saw a woman struggling with a large box. It was half in and half 1 of her car. He was a helpful kind of man, so he went up to the woman and said, “Let me give you a hand with that box. It looks very 2 .”“That蒺s very kind of you,”the woman said. “I蒺m having a lot of 3 with it. I think it蒺s stuck(不能动,受阻).”“Together we蒺ll soon move it,”the man said. He 4 into the b…     

I Call Him Tom

A man wanted to sell his old horse, so he took him to the market. Because the horse was old, nobody wanted to buy him, but at last a young man stopped in front of him and said, "How old is he?" "He is twenty-one years old," said the older man. "Ho…     

Noah''''s Ark

This is the story of Noah.Noah was a righteous man,the one blameless man of his time; he walked with God.He had three sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth. Now Godsaw that the whole world was corrupt and full of violence.In his sight the world had become corrupted, for all menhad lived corrupt lives on earth. God said to Noah, "Theloathsomeness of all mankind has become plain to me, forthrough them the earth is full of violence. I intend todestroy them, and the earth with them. Make yourself anark…     

时间前介词的省略

Pat Hogan was traveling around the country in the car. One evening he was driving along a road and looking for a small hotel when he saw an old man at the side of the road. He stopped his car and said to the old man, “I want to go to the Sun Hotel. Do you know it?“     

短文改错强化训练四篇(英文)

1An old lady went shop last Wednesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. The man got out and went into the bank. She saw into the car. The keys were on the lock. The old lady took the keys and following the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of the pocket and said to the clerk. "Give me all money!"And the old lady did not see this. She went out to the man, put the keys in his hand and said,"Young man,you' re stupid! Never you leave your keys in your car:some is going t…     

Cat Scan

A man takes his motionless dog to the vet."Doc,I think my dog is dead.”The vet looks the dog over, goes into a backroom,and comes out with a cat.He places the caton the table next to the dog.The cat walks aroundand sniffs at the dog.The dog does not move.The     

20只猫与一个猫碗(英文)

A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked veryold. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat , was lying besidethe bowl. The man did not want the farmer to know that he was interested in bowl. So he said to him softly, “What anice cat you have? Will you sell it to me?”“How much will you give me for the cat?”the farmer opened his eyes and asked.“Twenty dollars. Would t…     

A Rich Father

John D. Rockefeller, the well-known millionaire, gave away millions, but he himself was very mean about small sums of money. One day he went to stay at a hotel in New York and asked for the cheapest room in it. He said, "I am staying here alone and only need a small room."The manager showed him into a room and said, "This is our smallest and cheapest room," and added, "but why do you choose a poor room like this? When your son stays here, he always has our most expensive room; yours is our …     

My View on The Scarlet Letter

There are many different views among scholars about the motif of Hawthome’s "Red Cross".In my opinion,the most meaningful view is from an American critic.He said that "Red Cross" is a novel describing the divergence between natural man and social man.As my part,this divergence can be understood on two levels.The first is the conflict between thongs of people represent the benefits of natural man and the other throngs of people represent the social man’s benefits;the second is the conflict of natural character and social character in everybody’s soul.The author tried to make those two conflicts to a certain agreement,and ended with a concordant state.Then who win? Who fail?