A Fat Man and a Black Cat

<正>A man sat on a black cat and the black cat was squashed flat, for the man was a fat man."Oh, that fat man is a bad man,"said the black     

JOKES

(A) A man was buying a Rolls-Royce(劳斯莱斯汽车)and wanted to Pay cash,but he found he was2 pence(便士)short of the 1500 needed.Outside the car showroomshe saw a man selling newspapers,and he went out and asked him: "Could you lend me 2 pence?I want to buy a Rolls-Rovce." "Sure,"replied the man."But look--here'S 4 pence.Buy one forme as well."     

STORIES ABOUT FAMOUS PERSONS

A story About Mozart One day Mozart saw an old man playing the violin at the street corner.He found that the old man was playing one of his compositions (乐曲).The old man played for some time,but the cap in front of him was still empty-nobody put any money into the cap.Mozart asked the old man," Do you often play compositions by Mozart?" The old man answered." Now everybody knows Mozart and likes his compositions.""Do you make a living by playing the violin?" The old man said he did.Mozart took over the violin from the old man and began to play.     

笑话一则(英文)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:"If you kiss me,I'll turninto a beautiful princess."He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said:"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,I willtell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."The man took the frog out of hispocket,smiled at it,and returned it to his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said,"If you kiss me and turn me back i…     

A Seeing-eye Dog and a Blind Man

通读下面短文,掌握其大意,然后在1～10各题所给的四个选项中,选出一个最佳答案,并把它前面的字母编号填在左边的括号里。 Here is a story about a clever dog. It was a seeing-eye dog. A seeing-eye dog can help blind(瞎的)people walk along the streets and do many other things. One day a seeing-eye dog and a blind man 1 a bus together. The bus was full of 2 andthere were 3 seats left. But one man soon stood up and left his seat. The dog 4 the blind man     

阅读理解五则

A mother and her young son get into a bus in a small city and sit down. The bus conductor comes to them for their money. The mother says, ＂I want one ticket（票） to the zoo,＂ and gives him one yuan. The conductor looks at the small boy for a few seconds and then says to him, ＂How old are you, young man？＂ The mother begins to speak, but the conductor stops her. The boy says： ＂I＇m four at home, and two in the buses.＂ At last the mother has to take fifty fen out of her pocket and gives it to the conductor.     

Funny Stories

"You are the first one !" One day,a man saw fisherman standing beside a lake with a mirror. "Excuse me,"he said."Could you tell me what are you doing?" "I'm fishing." "Fishing with a mirror?" the man asked. "Sure,it's my new interest," answered the fisherman. "Could you tell me how it works?" "Okay,but you will give me a hundred dollars." The man wanted to know the answer,so he gave the fisherman the money.The fisherman said,"First you aim (对准目标,瞄准) the mirror into the water,and when a fish goes by,you let the ray (光线) of the sun on its head.The fish is puzzled (感到迷惑不解) and then you catch it."     

Why he Couldn't Leave

There was a meeting with a large number of people.At first the speaker was very interesting,but as time went on,he became very boring.Finally when he was through,there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said,"Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room.""Oh! Don’t mention it!"replied the man,"I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."     

English Joke

A A man walks into a shopand sees a lovely little dog.He asks the shopkeeper,"Does your dog bite?"The shopkeeper says,"No,my dog does notbite."The man tries to pet the dog and the dogbites him."Ouch!"He says,"I thought you said yourdog does not bite!"The shopkeeper replies,"That is not mydog!"     

Another way

A man sits in a restaurant.He wraps the napkinaround his neck.So the manager calls over a waitress. "Tell the man that's impossible in our restaurant,"says the manager."But try to be tactful."The waitress goes to the man's table and asks."Shave     

A Man Neither Destroyed Nor Defeated

The Old Man and The Sea written by Hemingway, is one of the famous novel in the world. In the novel, the writer describes an old man Santiago. He has a very famous saying:"A man can be destroyed but not defeated." In my opinion, he is neither destroyed nor defeated. He is a man with high dignity. He is the one who can give when he can and receive when he needs. He is a man full of high spiritual qualities and these can be passed on to the next generation.     

"What a Good Young Man!"

A man gets into a train and sits beside a woman.Soon they begin talking to each other.He says toher,"Do you have a family?"Yes,I have one son."the woman answers."Oh, really?" says the man,"Does he smoke?"     

Funny Stories

1 Before the Trouble Starts A man went into a bar "sat down" called the barman and said to him, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." The barman was busy with other people, so he did not say anything, but he gave the man the drink, and the man drank it quickly. Then he put his glass down, called the barman again and said to him, "Give me another one before the trouble starts."     

墙上的咖啡

I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a 1)neighboring town of Venice,Italy,the city of lights and water. As we enjoyed our coffee,a man entered and sat at an empty table beside us.He called the waiter over and placed his order,saying,"Two cups of coffee,one of them there on the wall." We heard this order with interest and 2)observed that he was served one cup of coffee but he paid for two.When he left,the waiter put a piece of paper on the wall,saying,"A Cup of Coffee." While we were still there,two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee,two on the table and one on the wall.They had two cups of coffee but paid for three and left.This time also,the waiter did the same:He put a piece of paper on the wall,saying,"A Cup of Coffee."     

It''''s My Bag!

It's Sunday.There are many people in the bus.And an old man is looking here and there (到处).He wants to find an empty seat (座位).Then he finds one.A small bag is on the seat.And a young man is beside it."Is this seat empty?"asks the old man."No,it's for an old woman.She goes to buy some bananas,"says the young man.     

STORIES

Tom walked into a shop. It had a sign (招牌) outside: "Second hand clothes bought and sold." He was carrying an old pair of trousers and asked the owner of the shop, "How much will you give me for these?" The man looked at them and then said, "Two dollars." "What!" said Tom. "I had guessed they were worth at least five." " No," said the man, " they aren’t worth a cent more than two dollars."     

STORIES ABOUT ANIMALS

A mouse and a lionOne day a mouse went out to find something to eat.He ran carelessly through some tall grass.He ran into a big lion.The lion caught him,held him tightly(紧紧地)and would not let him go."Please let me go,Mr Lion,"said the mouse."One day I will help you." The lion laughed and thought,how a little mouse could help a big lion!Then he said,"Very well,I will let you go.But you must walk more carefully." "Thank you,"the mouse said."You are very kind." The next week the mouse was again looking for something to eat.He saw the lion had fallen into a net of strong ropes.He could not move.The mouse cut one of the ropes with his teeth and then the other.Soon the     

The Motive of the Murder ——The Analysis of the Two Murders in Native Son

This thesis focus on the analysis of the motive of the two murders made by Bigger Thomas, a black man. The black people＇s miserable living condition is one of the reasons why the two murders happened. The white＇s bias towards the black is also responsible for them. Bigger Thomasg deformed, distorted personality is also part of the explanations for the murders.     

幽默故事

A Carol Roberts left school when she was seventeen and then thought,"What' going to happen now? I want to marry a nice young man and have some children,but no nice young men have asked me yet.Will I meet one soon,and will he want to marry me?" She spoke to her best friend about these questions,and the friend said,“Go and ask a fortune-teller (算命先生).Perhaps he'll give you the answer." So Carol went to see a fortune-teller.The man said to her,"I'll give you the answers to two questions.It'll cost you five pounds."     

Humour and Jokes

A Mrs Mouse was taking her babies for a walk one day where they met a large cat."Bow-wow! (学狗的叫声) " shouted Mrs mouse and the cat turned and ran away. "You see,children," said Mrs Mouse,"how important is it to speak another language !" B The champion athlete (运动员) in bed with cold was told that he had a high temperature. "How high is it,doctor?" he asked. "A hundred and four." "What is the world's record?"