狄得夫小子 牛仔

'."''."''."''."''."''."''."''."''."''."'狄得夫小子 牛仔@泽普!法~~     

施恩不望报

IwasshuckingsomecornatthekitchensinkandwaitingformyfathertostopbywhenIglancedoutthewindowtoseemyneighborrushingtowardourbackdoor."Knock,knock,knock,"shesaid."Anybodyhome?"Whydoesshealwayssay,"knock,knock,knock,"insteadofjustknocking?Ithoughtirritably."Comeonin,"Isaid.Evenbeforesheopenedhermouth,Iknewwhyshewashere.Shewantedtoborrowsomething.Ifitwasn'tacupofsugar,itwouldbeourlawnmowerorsomegastomakehersrun.Ormaybearakeorawrench."Canyouspareastickofbutter?"sheasked."Sure."Iturnedtotherefrige…     

Sorry & Excuse Me

同学们看了这个标题可能会问:向人致歉时说"Sorry."和"Excuse me."不是一样吗? 其实,"Excuse me."与"Sorry."的用法确有区别. "Excuse me."通常用在说或做可能令人不悦的事情之前,而"Sorry."则在说或做这种事情之后使用,表示歉意.     

你属于哪类人？

我们常常能够听到以下熟悉的话语: "现在是午餐时间,你3点以后再打来吧." "那不是我的工作." "我太忙了." "那是汉曼的工作." "我不知道该如何帮你."     

"莫"字词性小议

"莫"最初是"暮"的本字,<说文>:"莫,日月冥也."<说文通训定声>:"莫,假借为无."段玉裁认为是引申义,<说文>段注:"引申为有无之无."几乎所有对"莫"的训释,皆以为"无"字,如<广雅·释言>:"莫,无也."<诗·邶风·谷风>:"德音莫违."笺:"莫,无也."<小雅·天保>:"以莫不庶."笺:"莫,无也."<礼记·檀弓>:"莫相予位焉."注:"莫,无也."<论语·阳货>:"小子何莫学夫诗?"皇疏:"莫,无也."皆以"无"为训,这种训释含混模糊,因此,后世对"莫"的用法争论颇多.     

School things

正I have many school things.Listen!They are talking."I’m the best!"Pens say loudly."You see,I can write and do all the hom ework.""No……"The other school things say."I’m the best!"Eraserssayquickly."You see,I can clean the exercise book."     

等了一整天

"你上楼去睡觉吧."我说,"你病了." "我没事儿."他说. 医生来了,他给孩子量了量体温. "几度?"我问他. "一百零二度."     

FUNNY NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

1."Overeating main couse of obesity" 2."Dog kills cat,self" 3."Two ships collide.One dead"     

An Unusual Punishment

One day Jack broke his mother's glass. When shesaw the broken glass, she cried, "Jack, your father isgoing to punish(惩罚)you." "I'm too upset(沮丧)to punish you now." said Jack'sfather."I'll do it after supper."     

Show Time

Story: Show Time!The whole class presents the story"Under the Sea".Everyone is so excited and happy.Both Leo and Kathy show their parentsthe characters of the play."Who's he?"asks Kathy's mom."He's the prince."Kathy replies."Who's she?"asks Leo's dad."She's the queen."Leo replieswith a smile.     

幽默与笑话(英文)

A Two little boys were discussing their future."What are you going to be when you grow up?"asked one of them."A soldier,"answered the other."What if you get killed?""Who would want to kill me?""The enemy."The other boy thought this over and said finally:"OK,then,I’ll be the enemy."     

今天我没劲

"没劲."我对最好的朋友说. "我也没劲."她看着我,脱口而出. "没劲."我对国画老师说. "你不应该有这种想法."他看着我, "这种想法是消极的,懂吗?" "懂了."我笑笑,是苦笑. "没劲."我对小狗乖乖说. 它看着我,懒洋洋地叫了一声,慢吞吞地去晒太阳了.我成了"对狗弹琴"的人.     

小蜘蛛上学

Spider is a new student. He goes to the Animal School. Rabbit, Monkey, Piggy and Bird say hello to him. Rabbit says: "I’m No. One." Monkey says: "I’m No. Two." Piggy says: "I’m No. Three." Bird says: "I’m No. Four." "Fall in, children." Mr. Bear says. Spider stands in the first place, "Now, I’m No. One." They laugh.     

幽默四则

I.Three Deaf MenThree rather deaf old friends met one day in the street."Windy, isn't it?"said one."No, it's Thursday,"said the second."So am I,"said the third. "Let's go and have a cup of tea."     

给自己留一个平台

"播慢一点." "播慢一点." 大小领导都在提醒小王.小王偷偷计算过了,别人播的字数跟自己差不多.为了找到问题所在,小王特地去拜访了以前的新闻系教授."我注意到了,你播新闻给人的感觉确实有点快."教授一见面就说,"不过,那不是真快,而是因为你的气有点急."     

我和学生谈"恋爱"

一天放学后,我正要下楼,阿月迎面走过来."张老师,这是阿楠让我交给您的."她递给我一张纸条,便匆匆跑开了."什么事啊,搞得神秘兮兮的."我一边想着,一边打开了那张折叠着的纸条.     

状态就是命运

到贵州旅游,参观完一处民居后一中年妇女走上来拦住我."先生,给您算个命."我不算命的!"我语气强硬,不留一点余地."为什么不呢?您从车上一下来,我就注意到您了."     

奥利给

夜幕降临,整座城市蒙上了一层淡影."啪——""断电了?""断电了!"黑暗中,只有远处商业楼的光亮.爸爸打着手电,寻找着家中剩余的蜡烛."找到了!"爸爸的呼声从楼上传下来. 蜡烛被点燃了,淡淡的黑烟在跳动的火苗上扭曲着身影,空气中微微弥漫着蜡烛燃烧的味道."吃饭吧."奶奶端着饭菜从厨房走出来."吃一回烛光晚餐."妈妈抿着...     

幽默三则

Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arrn."It's a prize, mother,"heexplained."A prize?What for,dear?" "For natural history. Teacherasked me how many legs anostrich has and I said three." "But an ostrich has only twolegs."     

给自己留一个平台

"播慢一点." "播慢一点." 大小领导都在提醒小王.小王偷偷计算过了,别人播的字数跟自己差不多.为了找到问题的所在,小王特地去拜访了以前的新闻系教授."我注意到了,你播新闻给人的感觉确实有点快."教授一见面就说,"不过,那不是真快,而是因为你的气有点急."