A Farmer

A man is driving down a country road,when he sees a farmer stand-ing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He drives the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there,doing nothing,looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car,walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him,“Ah,excuse me mister,but what are you doing?”The farmer replies,“I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize(诺贝尔奖).”“How?”asks the man,puzzled(迷惑不解).“Well,I heard they give the…     

We Are Going to the Park

Story: It's a sunny day. Joe asks his mother to take him to the park. They are going to have a picnic there. On their way to the park, they see Kathy and her mother. "Where are you going?" asks Kathy. "I'm going to the park," Joe replies. Then Joe's mother invites them and says, "Join us?" Kathy wants to go with them, so     

幽默一隅

A mother was teaching her 5-year-old sonabout God.“Do you know,”she said to her son oneday,“that God know where everybody is all thetime,and exactly what they are doing.”The littleboy looked at his mother wide-eyed andsaid,“Wow!He must have a computer!”     

Turn off the TV

Xiao Pang is crying out of his room.Mother asks:“What!s the matter now?”“I saw on TV a grandpa died, ”says Xiao Pang. “ That!s not so serious. Why didn!t you just turn off the TV?”says his mother.Turn off the TV~~     

Do you know？

1. SkyWhat is the sky? Where is it ? How high is it ? What lies above it ? Many Children have asked the same ques-tions.If someone asks you,“What colour is the sky? ”You may answer “Blue”. But I think you are wrong. The sky has no colour. When you …     

阅读理解能力测试

(A)Paul每天上学都迟到,今天他给说了老师一个令人发笑的理由。阅读下文,看看他的理由是无知还是狡猾。Paul always goes to school late.It is eight ten in the morning.The students are having an Englishlesson in the classroom.Paul opens the door and goes in.“Paul,why are you late every morning?”his teacher asks.“Whattime do you leave(离开)home?”“I leave home at seven forty,”Paul answers.“Is your home far(远)from our school?”his teacher asks.“No,about ten minutes?walk.”“Then why are you la…     

留住四季

1.One day,the mother fox asks her children,“Which of you can keep the four seasons?一天,狐狸妈妈问孩子们一个问题。“我想考考你们,谁能将四季留住?”2.They think for a while and have their own ideas.Spring comes.The red fox draws and draws on the paper.他们想了想,有了自己的想法。春天来了,红狐狸不停地在纸上画呀画。     

猴子与鳄鱼

They swam slowly.Suddenly,the mother crocodile saw the monkey,“Oh,a monkey! How nice if l have it for my dinner!” Then she said to her son,“My son,do you love me? Yes,of course,” the baby crocodile answered.“Well,can you see that monkey? I want to eat his heart.Can you go and get it for me?” the mother crocodile asked.“All right.”     

Potential vs. Reality

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment.He asks his father for help.“Dad,can you tell me thedifference between potential and reality?”His father looks up thoughtfully,and then says,“l'll display it to you.Go askyour mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.Next,ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pittfor a million dollars.Then go ask your brother if he would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.Then come back and     

年龄问题在于你是否记得

You know you are starting to get on in years when somebody is filling out paperwork for you and asks your age. And you have to think about it for a moment.It' s not that I am ashamed of my age(53 or 54... something like that). There are times when I just cannot remember it.     

Are You Putting Me On?

There are a number of phrases built on the word “put”, such as put by, put for, put across, put over and so forth. The expression“putting one on”is among them. You tell a person something that he finds difficult to believe, and he may look at you closely and ask:“Are you putting me on?”He does-n蒺t think you are serious. Perhaps, you are joking with him, teasing him, try-ing to test his reaction(反应).The expression “putting one on”is closest to the phrase “to put one over on a perso…     

笑话三则

一More cake, pleaseTom came home from school one day with a black eye. “What happened to you?”asked his mother. “I had a fight with Billy,”Tom said, looking very sad. “Well, tomorrow give him this cake and make friends with him,”said his moth-er.Tom did as she said. But the next day he came home with another black eye! “Not again!”said his mother. “Who did that to you?”“Billy,”said Tom. “He wants more cake.”二Mary was so disgusted at her husband’s cigarette smoking that she …     

Tommy

Tommy is four years old.That's the age when children usually aska lot of questions.Every time Tommy goes somewhere with his parents,he pulls on their hands and asks a million questions,“What is that?Whereare those people going?When are we going to leave?Why is the skyblue?”Tommy asks questions about everyone and everything.His mo-ther and father get very tired.Tommy even asks questions that adults consider rude.Last week     

向妈妈道歉

正A boy plays with a ball in the living room."Bang"The ball knocks into the vase on the bookshelf.The vase falls down to the ground and breaks into pieces.The boy is very afraid and pretends to reading a book.After a short time,the boy goes into his mother’s study.He glues the pieces of vase together and puts it back to the bookself.The mother comes in and sees what happens to the vase.At table,she asks,"Son,did you break the vase?"     

A Fashion Show

Story: The yearly fashion show day.The children take turns to walk on the stage and show the class their favorite clothes.Now it’s Joe’s and Phoebe’s turn.Joe walks on the stage and says,“My shorts are blue.Do you like my blue shorts?”On the other side of the stage, Phoebe is wearing her favorite pink skirt.“My skirt is pink.Do you like my pink skirt?”asks     

A Telephone

It's eight thirty in the morning.Lilyis answering the telephone,“Hello,who’s that?”she asks.“It’s me,Peter.”Peter is a friend ofLily’s eight-year-old brother,Jim.“Oh,hello,Peter.What do you     

The Useful Moon

Two kids are talking about the sun and them oon.One asks,“Whichone do you think is more useful?”The other answers,“The moon,of course.The moon always comesout in the evenings and gives light to us. While the sun always stays inthe sky in the day when it is already bright enough.”The Useful Moon!河北@邢新…     

How Old Are You?

A mother and her young son got into a bus in a small city and sat down.The bus conductor came to them for their money.The mother said, "I want one ticket to London, "and gave her a shilling(先令,英国货币单位,1先令等于12便士)..The conductor looked at the small boy for a few seconds and then said to him, "How old are you,young man?     

New Headway Examination Training

QUESTIONSWhat happens when I have to describe a picture?It's simple. The examiner gives you a picture and asks you to say what you see. He or she may also ask you to give an opinion or comment on the content of the picture.     

英语幽默(英文)

I, You and shePeter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: I, YOU and SHE. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, “I, I am your teacher;(then pointing to a girl) she, she is your classmate; you, you are my student.”When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, “I, I am your teacher;(then pointing to his mother)she, she is your classmate;you, you are my student. ”H…