笑话集锦(英文)

(A)Woman at movies:If my hat prevents(妨碍)you from seeing the film,I'll remove it.Man:Please don't bother(麻烦).Your hat isfunnier than the film.     

JOKES

First Question "I hear you have a boy in college.Is he going to become a doctor,an engineer,or a lawyer,perhaps?"     

JOKES

汤姆：彼得，你说过你只有一个弟弟，对吗？ 彼得：是的，没错。     

笑话(英文)

Family QuarrelThe young newly-weds(新婚夫妇)quarreled.At last she could bear (忍)it no longer and burst into tears(哭起来)."I don't want to have anything to do with you any more.I'm packimg up(收拾)my things and going off to mother.""Fine,my dear,"said the husband."Here are the travelling expenses(路费)"She counted the money and asked: "What about the money for the return ticket?"     

JOKES

I was travelling in a bus yesterday. Sitting opposite me （在我对面 ） was a lady with a small child, and the little boy was crying bitterly.     

JOKES

(A) A man was buying a Rolls-Royce(劳斯莱斯汽车)and wanted to Pay cash,but he found he was2 pence(便士)short of the 1500 needed.Outside the car showroomshe saw a man selling newspapers,and he went out and asked him: "Could you lend me 2 pence?I want to buy a Rolls-Rovce." "Sure,"replied the man."But look--here'S 4 pence.Buy one forme as well."     

JOKES

A Little Tom:Grandma,I had an interesting dream last night. Grandma:Can you tell me what the dream was? Little Tom:No,grandma,you ask me while you know the answer because you were there then,too. B Patient:Is there anything serious with my trouble,Docter? Docter:Yes,very serious.Your illness is too serious to cure (治愈).Now tell me,please.Who do you want to see now before you die?     

JOKES

A Mum:Harry,why are you crying? Harry:I've hurt my finger,Mum. Mum:When did you do that? Harry:Half an hour ago. Mum:I didn't hear you crying then. Harry:No,I thought you were out.     

JOKES

ATeacher： Why are you late for school？ Pupil ： It was late when I started from home. Teacher： Then why didn＇t you start early？ Pupil ： It was already too late to start early, sir.     

JOKES

Two very deaf ladies were travelling on top of an open bus. ＂Windy isn＇t it ？＂ asked one. ＂No,it isn＇t Wednesday, it＇s Thursday,＂ said the other. ＂Yes,I＇m thirsty, too. Let＇s get off and have a Coca-Cola.＂     

JOKES

<正>"I say,I say,I say: Would you like to play with my new dog?" "Does he bite?" "I don't know. That's what I want to find out!"     

笑话

The tiger's shin A farmer was working in the field near the forest.Suddenly a big tiger pounced (突袭)on him from behind and was dragging him away.The farmer's son saw this.He picked up a knife and ran after the tiger. "My son," called the man in the tiger's mouth,"if you are trying to save me,you don't use the knife because the tiger's skin is worth a lot of money!"     

JOKES

A Little George was crying one day,and his dad asked him why.“I've lost 5 pence,” sobbed (伤心地哭) George. “Never mind,” said his dad kindly,“Here's another 5 pence for you.”At which George howled (大声哭) louder than ever.