Humour

IntheClassroomSchoolboy:Excuse me, Miss. I'm calling just to tell you I can't go to school today.Teacher:Why? What蒺s wrong?Schoolboy:I don蒺t feel well.Teacher:Where do you feel trouble?Schoolboy:In the classroom.ACleverBoyTom:Papa, can you write your name without opening your eyes?Father:Of course, I can.Tom:All right! Please write your name on my school report（成绩单）.WhyFishesOnlyLiveinWater?Father:Do you know why fishes only live in water and can蒺t live on land?Son:Yes, I…     

谁最懒

Father： Who＇s the laziest in your class？ Son： I don＇ t know. Father： Who＇s looking around and doing nothing when you are doing your exercises？Son ： The teacher.     

幽默四则

Ⅰ.Who Is the Laziest?Father:Well,Tom. I want to ask you aquestion.Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom:I don't know,father.Father:Oh,yes,you do!Think!When other     

给我一块钱 Give me a Dollar

儿子：爸爸给我一角钱。父亲：儿子你不认为你已经长大了,不该再老Son:Dad,give me a dime. Father:Son,don't you think you're getting too big to be foreverbegging for dimes? Son::I guess you're right,Dad,Give me a dollar,will you?     

JOKES

一What Were You Doing Last Term?Father: I promised to buy a car if you passed the exam, but you failed (未及格)again what were you doing? Son: I was learning how to drive.上学期你干什么去了?     

Jokes

1.Father and son Father:You know,Mike,when Lincoln was your age,he was a very good pupil.In fact,he was the best pupil in his class.Mike:Yes,Father.I know that.But when he was your age,he was President of the United States.2.How do you find it?Teacher:Mike,you copied from John’s paper in today’s exam,didn’t you?     

Three Idiots

Dad: One plus two isequal to…Son:I don't know.Dad:Your mother andI plus you,how manyaltogether? You idiot!Son:Three idiots.     

The Proverb

Sam and his father are walking on the street.Suddenly a big dog barks at them and Sam is afraid.Father: Don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb:A barking dog doesn’t bite?Sam:Oh, yes. I know the proverb,and you know the proverb.But does the dog kno…     

She Must Send lt To you

Father: I am very angry at your school report. Son: I told my teacher that you would be unhappy,but she must sand it to you.汉译:父亲:看了你的成绩,我非常生气。儿子:我告诉过老师你不会高兴的,可她偏要拿给你。cShe Must Send lt To you@洪会兰     

原因

Father:Your teacher phoned (打电话) me, and she finds (发现) impossible(不可能的) to teach you any- thing (任何东西)! Son:That’s why I say she’s not good!     

At a loss(外二则)

（Ⅰ）AtaLoss（迷惑不解）Son：Dad，wherewereyouborn（出生）？Father：NewYork，dear．Son：Wherewasmumborn？Father押InLosAngeles穴洛机矶）．Son：WherewasIbornthen芽Father：InWashingtonD．C．（华盛顿）Son：Itcertainlyisfunnyhowwethreepeoplegotto鄄gether，isn’tit？（Ⅱ）Laziest（最懒）Dad：Mary，whoisthelaziestinyourclass？Mary：Idon’tknow，Dad．Dad：Pleasethinkitover（仔细想想）.Whoissittingandgazingaround（东张西望）theclasswhenallofyouaredoingtheexercises？Mary：Oh，Iknow.Ourteac…     

Jokes and Humour

Tom: Father, our teacher does not know what ahorse is.Father: Why do you think so? Tom: You know, I drew a horse yesterday andshowed it to the teacher and he asked mewhat it was.汤姆:父亲,我们的老师不认识马。父亲:你为什么这么说?汤姆:是这样的。昨天我画了一匹马,我拿给老师看,可他却问我这是什么。     

Career Expectation

CHRIS: I just want you to know how much I've enjoyed working here. And I wanted to talk to you about the future.STEVEN: We've enjoyed having you here. You're doing a good job.CHRIS: Thanks. I'm interested in staying at WEFL, but I need to talk to you about the future.STEVEN: I understand.CHRIS: Right now, I'm thinking about making my plans. I can't be an assistant all my life. I'm hoping to become a reporter. Do you think there may be a spot for me?     

RINGING idioms

To ring a bellWhen something rings a bell, it means that we find it familiar. It is especially used when reminding someone else of a shared experience.'Dont you remember the little bar on the comer with the red and white table cloths? Surely that rings a bell?' It can be applied to people too. 'His face rings a bell, but I can't remember the name.' No one seems to know the origin of this idiom.     

崩溃(英文)

Try to tell me what I shouldn't do You should know by now I won't listen to you Walk around with my hands Up in the air 'Cause I don't care 'Cause I'm all right I'm fine Just freak out let it go I'm gonna live my life i can't ever run and hide I won't compromise[妥协] 'Cause I'll never know I'm gonna close my eyes I can't watch the time go by I won't keep it inside     

现在无法停止(英文)

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning While I've been stuck here dithering around Though I know I said I'd wait around till you need me I have to go, I hate to let you down But I can't stop now I've got troubles of my own Cause I'm short on time     

开心笑吧

一天放了学,Tom和爸爸在聊天。Father:Who is the laziest in your class?汤姆,你们班里谁最懒?Tom:I don’t know,daddy.我不知道,爸爸。Father:You should know.Who doesn’t read or write,but just look here and there in class?你应该知道。谁在班里不读不写,只是到处看?Tom:The teacher.老师。AnswerCustom:Waiter,can you explain why the fly is in my soup?Waiter:It’s swimming,sir.答案顾客:服务员,你能解释一下我汤里的苍蝇是怎么回事吗?服务员:他在游泳,先生。Riddles猜谜语1.I can see it,but you can’t.What is i…     

A Chocolate Car

Father: George, if a car is made of chocolate, what part will you eat first﹖George: Of course, its wheels. Without wheels it can't run away.A Chocolate Car     

白雪王后(英文)

Stoplight[刹车灯]lock the door Don’t look back Undress in the dark And hide from you All of you You'll never know the way your words have haunted[萦绕心头]me I can't believe you'd ask these things of me You don't know me Now and ever     

On the Cultivation of the Sense of Independence

The sense of independence is the ability to stand by yourself, to do things on your own. You trust yourself. You know you are the necessary part, the important part that makes up1 the world. 　Sometimes you may say to yourself, "Why, I can't stand on mys…