小幽默(英文)

TOO MANY QUESTIONSThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle (轻笑) and went back to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and asked “You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you? ”The lady replied “Of course I do it is the Bible. ”     

小幽默(英文)

Imagination Several weeks after a young man had been hired,he was called into the personnel[人事部]director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked, "when you applied for this job,you told us you had five years of     

小幽默(英文)

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink[水槽]. She suddenly noticed that her mother had sev eral strands[绺] of white hair sticking out in con- trast[形成对比] to her dark brown hair. She looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."     

小幽默(英文)

A man went tothe optician(配制眼镜的技师)to have hiseyes tested.The optician sat him down andshowed him a test chart(视力表).     

小幽默(英文)

This is kind of scary (吓人的,可怕的), it's a joke, but somehow it all seems to make sense! On the first day God created the cow.     

小幽默(英文)

Fit WitHoping to lose some weight, a friend was counting calories (卡路里), reducing her fat in-take(摄人量) and walking her dog twice a day, steadily increasing the distance. But after a month she had only lost one pound. A short time later she brought the dog to the vet (兽医) for a checkup."Is your dog eating well? " the puzzled vet asked. He's lost ten pounds.     

小幽默(英文)

Day Off[休假] Smith went to see his supervisor[主管]．“Boss,”he said,“We’re doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow．And my wife needs me to help with the attic[阁楼]and the garage．moving and hauling[用力拖拉]stuff．”“We’re short-handed[缺人手],Smith,”the boss replied,“I can’t give you the day off．”“Thanks,boss,”said Smith,“I knew I could count on[指望] you!”     

英语小幽默(英文)

Math,Physics,& PhilosophyDean,to the physics department.”Why do I always haveto give you guys so much money.for laboratories and expen-sive equipment and stuff.Why couldn’t you be like the mathdepartment-all they need is money for pencils,paper andwaste-paper baskets.or even better.like the philosophy de-partment.All they need are pencils and paper.”     

英语小幽默(英文)

Boss’s idea When my printer’s type began to go faint,I called a repair shopwhere a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only tobe cleaned.Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such clean-ings,he told me,it would be better for me to read the printer’s di-rections and try the job myself.Pleasantly surprised by his words,Iasked.”Does your boss know that you discou rage business?””Actually it’s my boss’s idea,”the employee replied”Weusually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repairthings themselves first.”     

英语小幽默(英文)

(一) In Chinese class, the headteacher said to the whole class, "Remember, everybody! Rome could't have been founded within one day! " Certainly his words are quite reasonable. That's to say, all the students should study harder. However, what is interesting is that the next class is a history lesson. By the middle of     

小幽默(六则)

幸福职工们在听关于“幸福”的报告,因内容空洞枯燥,台下人开小差了。“谈什么呀,炒股赚他十万八万,不幸福才怪哩.”“娶个倩老婆,幸福享不了。”“好啦,帮帮忙,婆娘肯做饭就算幸福了。”“给间小小的房子吧,幸福便在屋里开花结果.”     

小幽默(一组)

搞笑履历表姓名:父母取的年龄:不小了身高:很高体重:中等居住地:家里电话:在身上电子邮件:朋友帮我申请的上班时间:8小时应征职位:一位学历:如果毕业的话有高中学历     

小幽默欣赏(英文)

Football Wedding Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.One says, “It's ridiculous. He's rich     

英语小幽默(英文)

we just go off route 119 Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speedingdrivers.a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22MPH.He thinks to himself,“This driver is just as dangerous asa speeder!”So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.     

小幽默(五则)

你别管小宝:“爸爸,烟盒上都写着吸烟有害健康,你为什么还是经常吸烟?”爸爸:“吸烟是大人的事,小孩子别管。”过了两天,小宝把衣服弄脏了。爸爸:“小宝,怎么把衣服弄脏了?”小宝:“这是小孩子的事,请你别管。”     

英语小幽默(英文)

-,HalftheTimeAmotherwastalkingtoherlittleboy熏“Now熏Billy熏youshouldn’tbeselfwithyourtoys.I’vetoldyoutoletyouryoungerbrotherplaywiththemhalfthetime.”“That’swhatI’vebeendoing熏”saidBilly,“Itakethesleddoingdownhill熏andhetakesitgoingup.”玩一半时间一位母亲对她的孩子说:“听着,比利,你在使用玩具上不应该那样自私。我已经跟你说过要让弟弟玩一半时间。”“我一直就是这样做的呀,”比利说,“我把雪橇滑下去,然后他再拿上来。”YouCan’tFlyTeacher押Ihearyouliveclosetotheriverbutyouneverlearnedtoswim.…     

大作家的小幽默(四则)

不喜欢说不愉快的事法国戏剧家马歇·伯尔罗同著名喜剧演员费朗德尔在一餐馆一道进餐。“啊!”伯尔罗说,“怎么有一种怪味道!好像什么东西烧了……嗯……原来是我的烟斗放在口袋里,烧了裤子!”“没错,”费朗德尔说道,“我盯着你的     

小幽默共赏(英文)

That Man Knows the FutureNasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree inhis garden.While he was sawing,another manpassed in the street.He stopped and said,     

大作家的小幽默(11则)

人与箱名作家盖达尔旅行时,有个小学生认出是他,抢着替他提皮箱。皮箱的确太破旧了。学生说:“先生是‘大名鼎鼎’的,为什么用的皮箱却是‘随随便便’的?”     

大作家的小幽默(11则)

反守为攻一次,但丁参加教堂仪式时,陷入了沉思, 以至在行圣餐礼时竟忘记跪下。他的几个对头立刻跑到主教那里告状,说但丁有意亵(xie)渎神圣,要求予以严惩。在宗教统治的中世纪这