校园幽默(英文)

ALovelyDream（甜美的梦）Peter：Ihadalovelydreamlastnight．IdreamedIhadonemillion（百万）dollars．John：Whatdidyoudowithit？Peter：IputitinthebankbeforeIwakeup（醒来）．GiveMeYourPenMary：Tom，givemeyourpen，please．Tom：Whydon＇tyouwritewithyourownpen？Mary：Becauseitalwaysmakessomanymistakes．IlookatHimAlltheClassMike：Dickdoesn＇tlistentoyouandalwaysmakesfaces，MissGreen．Green：Yes，buthowdoyouknow？Mike：Ilookathimalltheclass．３And２Makes３芽Teacher：Tom，suppose（假如）youh…     

校园幽默(英文)

Going to the Sun Teacher:Today is the commemoration day( 纪念日 )of human going to the moon for the first time.Student:Why don't they go to the sun?Teacher:Because the sun is too hot.It can cremate( 烧成灰 )all the things.Student:They can go there at night. Circles Xiao Mao likes drawing circles in the exercise-books.When the Chinese teacher criticizes( 批评 )him,he says,"It is a period( 句号 )."When the maths teacher criticizes him,he says,"It is a zero.…     

幽默(英文)

Taking a Taxi The old lady was going to take a taxi."Driver," she said, "I want you to take me to the station.""Yes, madam," said the driver.     

幽默(英文)

Ike：Myroofleaks．Mike：Whydontyoufixit？Ike：Canttoday，itspouringdownrain．Mike：Whydontyoufixitwhenitstopsraining？Ike：Becauseitdoesntleakthen．幽默(英文)@连琴     

幽默(英文)

Spend All Mr Black gave his wife money every Friday evening, but she always spent it before the next Wednesday, so that for the next three days she had none. Every Tuesday evening Mr Black asked her,     

校园幽默(二则)

黄鹂自古就少星期天,学生李虎和刘龙到郊外柳林里游玩,李虎说:“这儿的树真多,可惜黄鹂太少了!”刘龙接过来说: “黄鹂自古就少嘛!”李虎问:“何以见得?”刘龙回答:“唐朝大诗人杜甫的诗中说过:‘两个黄鹂鸣翠柳’……”     

校园幽默(二则)

考试篇老师说:平时考是点心,百吃不厌;段考是正餐,定时定量;联考是满汉全席,一次就够。你们为什么不好好用功呢?学生说:报告老师,我们正在减肥!     

幽默小品(英文)

A statistician wanted to take a plane to SanFrancisco,but he was very afraid of bombs.Hegathered some figures and did some calcula-tions.He found that the probability of having     

幽默一则(英文)

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor.Shewas very afraid of m ice,so she ran out of the house,got in a taxi andwentdown to the shop.There she boughta m ouse-trap.The shopkeepersaid to her,“Putsom e cheese in it,and you w illsoon cat…     

小幽默(英文)

TOO MANY QUESTIONSThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle (轻笑) and went back to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and asked “You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you? ”The lady replied “Of course I do it is the Bible. ”     

幽默笑话(英文)

When Mr Jones went to restaurant one day,he left his coat near the door.There was nothing in the pockets of the coat when he left it, so he was very surprised when he     

小幽默(英文)

Imagination Several weeks after a young man had been hired,he was called into the personnel[人事部]director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked, "when you applied for this job,you told us you had five years of     

幽默互动(英文)

ice cream:凡荣登“翻译优胜榜”者,均可获得一份好礼!所以请参与者务必写清真实姓名、详细地址和邮政编码。Not So Easy The four-year-old was absolutely fascinated with his grandfather's false teeth．After staring trans- fixed whlie they were re-     

小幽默(英文)

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink[水槽]. She suddenly noticed that her mother had sev eral strands[绺] of white hair sticking out in con- trast[形成对比] to her dark brown hair. She looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."     

幽默二则(英文)

Main Entrance A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read"BEST- DEALS".     

幽默二则(英文)

I Save 20 Cents Less Bill is a doorman. He works in a factory, and he usually comes home at seven every evening. Last Friday he came back home very early, and he was very angry. He shut the door very hard, went into the living room and sat down. His wife…     

幽默集锦(英文)

Broken Engagement The soldier serving overseas, far from hom e was annoyed and upsetwhen his girl friend wrote breaking off their engagem ent and asking forher photograph back.H e w ent out and collected from his friends all the unwanted pho-tographs ofw …     

英语幽默(英文)

I, You and shePeter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: I, YOU and SHE. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, “I, I am your teacher;(then pointing to a girl) she, she is your classmate; you, you are my student.”When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, “I, I am your teacher;(then pointing to his mother)she, she is your classmate;you, you are my student. ”H…     

小幽默(英文)

A man went tothe optician(配制眼镜的技师)to have hiseyes tested.The optician sat him down andshowed him a test chart(视力表).     

幽默二则(英文)

He WAnted Two Balloons The boy's clothing shop was giving away balloons to customers' chil- dren. One little fellow asked if he might have two.“Sorry,”the clerk said, “but we give only one balloon to each child. Do you have a brother at home?” The youngester was always truthful, but he wanted another balloon badly.“No,”he replied regretfully,“but my sister does, and I'd like one for him.”You Are Smarter Now “I want you to give me a pill to make me smarter,”the man told his docto…