The Ass and His Purchaser

A MAN wished to purchase an Ass,and agreed with its owner that he should try out the animal before he bought him.He took the Ass home and put him in the straw-yard with his other Asses,upon which the new animal left all the others and at once joined the one that was most idle and the greatest eater of them all.Seeing this,the man put a halter on him and led him back to his owner.On being asked how,in so short a time,he could have made a trial of him,he answered,“I do not need a trial;I kno…     

HUMOUR AND JOKES

A Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to steal a neighbour's doorbell. But he clearly understood that while his hand touched the bell, it would ring and something terrible would happen to him. The ringing could be heard by others. So he covered his ears with something, thinking that everything would be all right and that he could get the doorbell without any trouble. But what happened was that he was caught on the spot for stealing the doorbell of his neighbour.     

To Help a Blind Man

Last Monday was a sunny day. I got up early in order to get to schoo l early, because it was the first day of a week. On my way to school, I saw a ma n standing beside the street with a walking stick in his hand. He was wondering there and moved slowly. It seemed that he wanted to cross the street. At that ti me, a car passed by and nearly hit him. I ran to him only to find out that he wa s a blind man. It was not easy for a blind man to cross the street. I decided to lead him to the othe…     

狮城名称之由来(英文)

Singapore or Singapura, which means "Lion City", was once called Temasek. Do you know how the country got its name?Sang Nila Utama was a "raja" (king) from Sumatra, Indonesia. One day, he set out on a voyage with thirty men to explore some islands. He was looking for a suitable place to build a city.He first landed on Riau Island. The chieftain of the island gave him and his party a warm welcome. They enjoyed the chieftain's hospitality for several days. One day, they went out hunting. They saw a queer animal and Sang Nila Utama ran after it. Chasing it for some time, he came to a huge rock. Standing on it, he looked across the sea. He was delighted to see an island not far away. One of his followers told him that it was called Temasek.     

The Impact of The Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin on American Society and Literature

Franklin is an earliest writer in American history and he is the most important writers during American colonial period.The most important works of him are Poor Richard’s Almanac and his Autobiography. His works have a tremendous impact on American literature later. What more important is that in his Autobiography he wrote out American dream, the spirit of business and good qualities, and some others. Franklin explained that everyone can get rich by hard work and thrift, and he called on people to come to America to make money. The American dream then became an important theme in American literature. It occurred in many works of many writers in his later time. Since Franklin was such a successful person in many areas, worldrenowned inventor, writer, diplomat and one of the leaders of the American war of independence, he brought a tremendous impact on American society. And because of his success, many Americans later took him as an example and his works were popular and read widely. Both Franklin and his works affected American society deeply.     

Stupid Orders

When Nasreddin was a boy,he never did what he was told,so his father always told him to do the opposite of what he wanted him to do.One day,when the two were bringing sacks of flour home on their donkeys,they had to cross a shallow river.When they were in the middle of it,one of the sacks on Nasreddin’s donkey began to slip,so his father said,"That sack is nearly in the water!Press down hard on it!"His father of course expected that he would do the opposite,but this time Nasreddin did what his     

A TENTATIVE INTERPRETATION OF ALBERT CAMUS''''THE GUEST

Albert Camus(1913-1960)was a noted French essayist,novelist and playwright,whose talent as a writer and an artist won him the Nobel Prize for literature in 1957.World War I bereaved him of his father and he was brought up by his mother in strai-tened circumstances.Through education,Camus was able to overstep the boundariesof his environment.Under the influence of the philosopher Jean Grenier,he deve-loped a lifelong interest in literature and philosophy.The fact that he was a victimof tuberculosis,a disease that dogged him all his life,forced him to give up half way     

A Passage for Comprebension

A man named Smith was sitting on his roof during a flood, and the water was up to his feet. Before long a fellow in a canoe passed and shouted, "Can I give you a lift to higher ground? "No,thanks, " said Smith. "I have faith in God and he will save me." Soon the water rose to Smith's waist. At this point a motor boat pulled up and someone called out, "Can I give you a lift to higher ground? "     

终生铭记的礼物(英文)

On a crisp spring day in 1942, Max Freed, the owner of Hercules Manufacturing, a shirt-making company in Winnipeg, Canada, was returning to his factory with a bundle of orders tucked neatly beneath his arm. Business was good and Max, although only 30, was carving out a niche as a successful businessman.As he walked to his office, he noticed a young man across the street on his hands and knees, scrubbing the front steps of Churchill's, a clothing wholesaler. The boy looked familiar. Freed crossed the street and asked him, " What are you doing here?"     

雾都孤儿(4)

Oliver stayed a prisoner alone in the dark room for a week.He criedbitterly all day,and when the long night came,he spread his little handsover his eyes to shut out the darkness,and tried to sleep.He was givenfreezing water to wash with,and was beaten dajly by Mr Bumble in front of     

Sign Language

An Englishman was once travelling in Italy. He could not speak Italian. One day he went to a restaurant and sat at a table. When the waiter came, the Englishman opened his mouth, put his fingers into it, took them out again and moved his lips. By doing these he meant, "Bring me something to eat." The waiter soon brought him a cup of tea. The Englishman shook his head and the waiter understood him to say that he didn't want tea, so he took it away and brought him some coffee. The Englishman…     

奥斯卡影帝——凯文·斯帕西(英文)

Kevin Spacey was born in New Jersey on July 26th, 1959. The family moved to Southern California and the boisterous (狂暴喧闹的) Spacey found himself sent off to a military academy. When that school couldn' t tame him, he moved on to Chatsworth High School, where he met other future actors Mare Winningham and Val Kilmer.In 1984, he found himself understudying (练习做临时演员) all the male roles in Hurlyburly. Director Mike Nichols was so impressed by his versatility (多才多艺) that he made sure he had a chance to play all of the roles during the run. After that he managed to land the lead role of National Anthems after Al Pacino dropped out and in 1986 starred opposite Jack Lemmon in the Broadway revival of Long Day' s Journey Into Night.Kevin made his film debut in 1986' s Heartburn and made     

幽你一默

Tit for TatA good story is told in Edinburgh about Professor Blackie.One day,the professor being prevented from lecturing,a notice was posted on the classroom door to his effect:"Professor Blackie regrets he is unable today to meet his classes."A waggish student,spying this,scraped out the initial letter of the last word of the sentence,and made it appear as if the professor was regretful at his inability to meet his lasses.But the keen-eyed old man,notic-ing the prank that had been played on him,quietly erased another letter,and left the following:"Professor Blackie regrets he is unable today to meet his asses!"     

一九九六年上半年全国高等教育自学考试英语试题(公外)(续上期)

Passage 2 At one time, Einstein travelled over the States,giving lectures on the theory of relativity.He travelled by car, and became quite friendly with chauffeur.The chauffeur always listened to Einstein's lecture which he gave over and over again.One day he told Einstein that he knew the lecture so well that he was sure he could give it himself.Thinking this was amusing, Einstein said that,as nobody knew him in the place where he had to give his next lecture,perhaps the chauffeur could give the lectrue in his place.That evening they went along to the lecture hall.Both Einstein and the chauffeur wore dark blue suits and ties.Everybody applauded the chauffeur as he took his place on the stage.The lecture was a huge success.The chauffeur didn't make a single mistake or hesitation.When it was over,he collected the papers and put them in Einstein's bag.Then he started to leave,followed quietly by Einstein a few paces behind.Just before they got to the door,a man stopped them. He introduced himself to the     

Broken Wings,Flying Heart

He lost his arms in an accident that claimed his father’s life-who was the main source of support for the family.Since then,he has had to depend on the arms of his younger brother.For the sake of taking care of him,his younger brother became his shadow,never leaving him alone for years.Except for writing with his toes,he was completely unable to do anything in his life. One late night,he suffered from diarrhea and had to wake up his     

A LESSON一个教训

George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer of England.Once he was soclosely besieged that not a drop of water could trickle through by his friends whenhe returned after visiting the Soviet Union.Everyone asked him to tell theimpressions about visiting the Soviet Union. So he opened his mouth. He toldsuch a thing.     

Bruce and Scot

Jim was in despair.Nothing was going right for him at the hospital.He hadbeen strongly criticized,mainly for the mistake he made when called out to assist at abirth.He suspected that he was no longer trusted at the hospital and he decided tochange his job.As a result of reading an advertisement,he was able to arrange aninterview with a doctor who was looking for a partner.The doctor,whose name was     

Mid-life Crisis or Triumph?

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice eveningdrive.The top was down,the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair,and he de-cided go open her up.As the needle jumped up to 80 mph,he suddenly saw flashing flashingred and blue lights behind him.“There' s no way they can catch a BMW,”he thought to himselfand opened her up further.The needle hit 90,100...then the reality of the situation hit him.     

天堂之路

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years,the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the barand tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father,shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Twoarms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing,begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!     

钥匙还是接吻

A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said,"Give me the keys."The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both