Jokes

A Dirtier HandWhen he was a child, Mike did not always obey the rules of school. One day the teacher caught him breaking a rule and asked him to come up to be punished. In that school beating the palm of hand(手掌心）with a ruler was the punishment. Mike蒺s hands were very dirty, so on the way to the teacher蒺s desk, he wiped one of his hands on his coat.The teacher looked at it for a moment and said,“Mike, if you can find a dirtier hand in the class, I shall not punish you.”“Here it is…     

READINGS

An old sweater 只要人人都献出一点爱,世界将变成美好的人间……David was a poor man. He lived with his grandfather. He went out for a job every day,but he always failed(失败). On a cold evening he sat alone on a bench(长凳) in the street. An old woman went up and said to him,"You are so kind,young man. I’m very hungry. Please help me!"David answered sadly,"Sorry,I’m as hungry as you.     

新床

A man called Zhang bought a new bed.He paid a lot of moneyfor it and he wanted to show it to all his friends.But he did notknow how to show it to all his friends.Then,one day,he thought of away.He told everyone that he was ill and he stayed in bed.In awhile.his friends came to visit him.They all went into his bedroom.One of them,a man called Wu,had just bought some new shoes andhe was very proud of them.Sitting next to Zhang’s bed,he lifted uphis feet and put his shoes on top of the bed so that Zhang could seethem.After a few minutes of nobody saying anything,Wu said,“Well,what’s wrong with you?”     

时间前介词的省略

Pat Hogan was traveling around the country in the car. One evening he was driving along a road and looking for a small hotel when he saw an old man at the side of the road. He stopped his car and said to the old man, “I want to go to the Sun Hotel. Do you know it?“     

Why he Couldn't Leave

There was a meeting with a large number of people.At first the speaker was very interesting,but as time went on,he became very boring.Finally when he was through,there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said,"Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room.""Oh! Don’t mention it!"replied the man,"I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."     

Forgetful Grass

It was too late at night when an old man came to a small town.He found an(小旅馆)and wanted to1there for the night.After he had gone to hisroom,the owner said to his wife:“Look at his bag.There must be much2init.Let’s take it3when he’s asleep,and we can become rich.”“No,no,”said the woman.“He4look for his bag tomorrow morning.If he can’t5it,he’ll telephone the police.”They thought for a few minutes.6the woman had a good7.“Wehave forgetful grass.Why8some forgetful grass into his f…     

完形填空齐齐看

(A) Yesterday evening,when I went to town 1my mother,we met a strange old man. It was raining 2and we had no umbrella.We were trying to3a taxi when he came up to us.He was carrying a nice umbrella and he said that he would give 4for only a pound.He had forgotten his wallet.He said he needed taxi to go back home.My mother didn't believe what he had said at first,and5 him a lot of questions.But she finally believed the man and gave him the pound.She was happy to6 a good umbrella for so little.However,the old man didn't get into a taxi.We walked7 him and found he went into a pub and bought himself a glass of 8with the pound.After he drank it,he 9~his hat and took up one of the many wet umbrellas there and went off with the new one.     

The Elephant Did It!

A man was travelling abroad in a small red car. One day he left the car and went shopping. When he came back, its roof was badly damaged. Some boys told him that an elephant had damaged it. The man did not believe them, but they took him to a cirus which was near there. The owner of the elephant said, “I am very sorry! My elephant has a big, round, red chair. He thought that your car was his chair, and he sat on it!” Then he gave the man a letter, in which he said that he was sorry and that he would pay for all the damage.     

Mr. Dongguo and a Wolf

中学生英语读写1.Once upon a time，there was a man named Dongguo．Mr．Dongguo was a kind-hearted man．He was even afraid of killing an ant while he was walking. One day he was going out with a bag full of books when he saw a wolf running to-wards him．“Ah，a wolf，”he cried out and was about to run away．2.“Help！Help！”the wolf ran up to him and shouted．“What's the matter with you．Mr．Wolf？”Mr. Dongguo stopped and asked．“Please save me，you kind-hearted man，”the wolf said wi…     

The Golden Touch

King Midas was a miser.That means a man who loves money.One day he waswalking in his palace garden.An old man,whose name was Bacchus,came up tohim and said,“You were once very kind to a friend of mine.Wish for anything youlike and Ⅰ'Ⅱ give it to you.”     

阅读 理解 精选

It was October 1.It was Tom's birthday.Hesaw a card on the table when he came back home.It said,“There is a present for you,Tom.L ook forit in your room.”Tom ran to his room,His parentswere watching him and smiling.On His bed he sawa new red box.He thought,“My presentmust be init.”He opened it.There was nothing but a card init.He took it out and read,“Dear Tom,I am yourpresent.My first letter is in the word‘pear’,butnot in the word‘bear’.My second letter is in‘tell’but not i…     

20只猫与一个猫碗(英文)

A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked veryold. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat , was lying besidethe bowl. The man did not want the farmer to know that he was interested in bowl. So he said to him softly, “What anice cat you have? Will you sell it to me?”“How much will you give me for the cat?”the farmer opened his eyes and asked.“Twenty dollars. Would t…     

STORIES ABOUT ANIMALS

A mouse and a lionOne day a mouse went out to find something to eat.He ran carelessly through some tall grass.He ran into a big lion.The lion caught him,held him tightly(紧紧地)and would not let him go."Please let me go,Mr Lion,"said the mouse."One day I will help you." The lion laughed and thought,how a little mouse could help a big lion!Then he said,"Very well,I will let you go.But you must walk more carefully." "Thank you,"the mouse said."You are very kind." The next week the mouse was again looking for something to eat.He saw the lion had fallen into a net of strong ropes.He could not move.The mouse cut one of the ropes with his teeth and then the other.Soon the     

I''''ll Show You The Way

Pat Hogan was traveling around the country inthe car.One evening he was driving along a roadand looking for a small hotel when he saw an oldman at the side of the road.He stopped his carand said to the old man,“I want to go to the SunHotel.Do you know it?”     

阅读理解二则(英文)

(A) One day, Mr Black went into a restaurant. He put his coat on achair near the door. There was nothing in the pockets of his coat. Afterhis meal he put on the coat, then he found there was much money in oneof his pockets. He immediately realized that someone else had taken hiscoat away by mistake. “Whose coat is this?”he thought. He saw a waiternear the door, so Mr Black said to him, “Somebody put a lot of money inmy coat. I have no time to wait for him. I have to go. Return it to him,please.”The waiter took the money and went away. A moment later, an-other man came with a coat just like Mr BlackKs. “IKm sorry, ” said theman. “I took your coat and you got mine. Please give me my coat and the     

开心阅读

Jimmy Was Blue It was Jimmy’s birthday.Hegot quite a lot of presents,and oneof them was a beautiful drum. “Who gave you that?”Auntyasked. “Grandpa did,”Jimmyanswered. Of course,Jimmy liked thedrum very much.He made aterrible noise with it.Aunty didnot mind.BUt one of theneighbours did not like the noiseat all.So one day the neighbourtook a sharp knife and went toJimmy’s room when he wasbeating his drum.     

《创世纪》遗失的一章(英文)

So God asked Adam,"What is wrong with you?"Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.He said,"This person will gather food for you,cook for you,and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you.She will always agree with     

Two Lies

Once there lived an old man. He liked listening to lies. He said, ＂Any man who can tell me two lies can marry my only daughter.＂ So a lot of young men in the country came to his house. But he said to all of them, ＂I＇m not pleased with your lies. I wouldn＇t give my daughter to any of you.＂ One day, a young man said, ＂It will be hot in the summer, so you should go out now and dig a big hole under the street. When the hot summer weather comes, you Will sell the cool air from the hole and get a lot of money.＂ ＂Oh, what a wonderful lie!＂ answered the old man.     

2001年中考完形填空解析（徐州市）

It was too late at night when an old man came to a small town. He found an inn ( 小旅馆 ) and wanted to stay there for the night. After he 1 his room, the owner said to his wife, "Look at his bag. There 2 much money in it. Let' s 3 when he' s asleep, _4_ ?""No, no," said the woman. "He must look 5 his bag tomorrow morning. If he can' t find it, he' ll telephone the police."     

阅读理解精选

AA man went to buy a piece of meat.He askedthe butcher(屠夫 ) to tell him the way of cooking itbecause he didn't know how to cook meat.Thebutcher told him how to cook it.“But I can't remember your words,”the mansaid,“Will you please write your words down forme?”Thebutcher was a good man and he wrotehiswords down for the man.The man went homehappily with the meat in his hand and the note(便条 ) in his pocket.A dog saw the meat,jumped athim and took the meataway.The man stood there.He did…