The Queen''''s Permission

A young man in a very splendid restaurant of Americastarted to take off his jacket.Seeing thls,the head waiter dashed to histable and said,“I”m afraid I must ask you to keep your jacket on,sir,forit is not good manners to do it in such a smart restaurant.”     

Funny Stories

"You are the first one !" One day,a man saw fisherman standing beside a lake with a mirror. "Excuse me,"he said."Could you tell me what are you doing?" "I'm fishing." "Fishing with a mirror?" the man asked. "Sure,it's my new interest," answered the fisherman. "Could you tell me how it works?" "Okay,but you will give me a hundred dollars." The man wanted to know the answer,so he gave the fisherman the money.The fisherman said,"First you aim (对准目标,瞄准) the mirror into the water,and when a fish goes by,you let the ray (光线) of the sun on its head.The fish is puzzled (感到迷惑不解) and then you catch it."     

Funny Stories

"You are the first one You one!"One day,a man saw a fisherman standing beside a lake with a mirror."Excuse me,"he said."Could you tell me what are you doing?""Im fishing.""Fishing with a mirror?"the man asked."Sure,it’s my new interest,"answered the fisherman."Could you tell me how it works?"     

Please Accept The Money

One day,a man told the Father[神父],“Oh,dear Father．I have stolen ten thousand yuan!”“But it’s not right for you to do so,”said the Father.“Well,do you want it?”said the man．     

A Cheap Meal

1)A man went into a restaurant. He ordered all the most expensive dishes and ate them with great enjoyment.2)Then a small boy came into the restaurant and sat at the man's table.The waiter said to the man:“what would your little boy like,sir?”3)“Oh,just an ice cream.”the man said. Then he stood up and said to the waiter:“I'm just going out to buy a newspaper.”4)The boy had eaten ice cream,then he stood up and walked to the door.5)The waiter said:“Excuse me, but your father hasn't come…     

In a Restaurant(在餐馆)

1.“Here's your vegetablesoup(汤汁 ) ,Madam.”“Thankyou.”　　 2 .“Waiter!Do you call itvegetable soup?Look at thegreen ball.It's a fly(苍蝇 ) !”cried the woman angrily.　　 3.“Really?the waiter putthe dark green ball into hismouth and said,”oh,no!It'sjust a piece of burnt(烧糊的 )green onion(洋葱 ) .”　　 4.“It's awful(恶心 ) !”said the waiter.“But yousaved(挽救 ) the restaurantfrom disgrace(不体面 ) !ThisC- note(1 0 0元 ) is for you.”said the boss(老板 ) .　　　 Mark Twain was …     

JOKES

Applying to Be a Soldier An old man applied(申请)to be a soldier.The sergeant(中士)asked him,“How old are you?”“Sixty—two”answered theold man.The sergeant said:“You know,you’re too old to be asoldier.”Then the old man said:“Maybe,it’s a little old to be asoldier,but don’t you need a general(将军)?”     

They are coming for Christmas

A man in Scotland called his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and said, I hate to ruin your day,but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. Dad,what are you talking about? the son screamed. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, the father said. We're sick of each other,and I'm sick of talking about this,so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her about it. Frantic,the son called his sister,who exploded on the phone. L...     

Good Points and Bad Points

"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about the disadvantage--there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north." "What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer. "The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."Good Points and Bad Points$河北辛集中学@郭芙…     

Shish Ka Bob

Mother:What are you doing? Son:I'm looking for a map. Mother:Why? Son:My classmate said the man of China is pink. It looks like a cock.But I said it's green,it looks like a duck.So I want to find it. 311243 浙江省杭州市萧山区坎山镇小施婷婷指导老师傅见萍     

Views on Marriage and Happiness in Pride and Prejudice

At the very beginning of the book-Pride and Prejudice,the author said"It is universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be want of a wife."From this line,we can find that marriage is the most important thing to women.Sometimes it even equals to men’s career at that time.It seems like once a woman married to a rich single man,she succeed in her lifetime"career".The question is what is the standard of that"succeed"? Married to a rich man,or the man you really love,or a man you had a crush on? Everyone keep these questions in mind since very early time,and different people have different opinions.In her short life,Jane Austin,the great novelist,composed six novels and created lot of female characters.Women in her novel had different attitudes toward marriage.Speaking of marriage,Pride and Prejudice must be the most representative work of it,and it is also Jane’s masterpiece.Through the different type of marriage of Mr.Bennet’s daughters,we can find the Jane’s atti tude towards marriage.In this article the author will discuss this issue based on Pride and Prejudice.     

读故事记单词

A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog for five dollars.“This is a talkingdog.”He said.“Stop behaving stupidly,”the neighbor rephed,“how can a beast likethat talk?Or you mean bark?”suddenly,the dog looked up and said with tears inhis eyes,“Please buy me,Sir.This man is mean.He keeps me in a barn and I haveto sleep in a barrel.He feeds me only beans and never walks me to the hay,and     

阅读理解二则(英文)

(A) One day, Mr Black went into a restaurant. He put his coat on achair near the door. There was nothing in the pockets of his coat. Afterhis meal he put on the coat, then he found there was much money in oneof his pockets. He immediately realized that someone else had taken hiscoat away by mistake. “Whose coat is this?”he thought. He saw a waiternear the door, so Mr Black said to him, “Somebody put a lot of money inmy coat. I have no time to wait for him. I have to go. Return it to him,please.”The waiter took the money and went away. A moment later, an-other man came with a coat just like Mr BlackKs. “IKm sorry, ” said theman. “I took your coat and you got mine. Please give me my coat and the     

阅读理解专练(英文)

A A man once said how useless it was to put advertisem ents in thenewspaper.“Last week,”said he,“my umbrella was stolen from a Lon-don church. A s itw as a present, I spent twice its worth in advertising,butI didn t getit back.”“H ow did you write your advertisem ent?”asked one of the listeners,a businessm an.“H ere it is,”said the m an,taking out of his pocket a slip cut froma newspaper.The other m an took itand read,“Lost from the C ity Churchlast Sunday evening, a black silk um…     

幽默两则

I .Good News and Bad NewsA football fan asked God, "Is there a football field in Heaven?"God thought it over for a moment and said, "I'll tell you tomorrow."The next day God said to the football fan, "Half of the news is good while another half is bad."Football fan:Please tell me the good news at first.God:There is a first-class football field in Heaven.Football fan: What about the bad news?God:There will be a football match tomorrow morning. You are on court at first.     

20只猫与一个猫碗(英文)

A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked veryold. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat , was lying besidethe bowl. The man did not want the farmer to know that he was interested in bowl. So he said to him softly, “What anice cat you have? Will you sell it to me?”“How much will you give me for the cat?”the farmer opened his eyes and asked.“Twenty dollars. Would t…     

完形填空(英文)

通读下面短文,掌握其大意,然后从短文后各题所给的四个选项中选择最佳的一项。A man was walking along the street when he saw a woman struggling with a large box. It was half in and half 1 of her car. He was a helpful kind of man, so he went up to the woman and said, “Let me give you a hand with that box. It looks very 2 .”“That蒺s very kind of you,”the woman said. “I蒺m having a lot of 3 with it. I think it蒺s stuck(不能动,受阻).”“Together we蒺ll soon move it,”the man said. He 4 into the b…     

Jokes

Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: The moon. Teacher: Why? Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.—M um,whatare you cooking?—It's bean soup!—I don'tcare whatithas been;Ijustwantto know whatitis now!“An abstract noun(抽象名词),”the teacher said,“is som ethingyou can think of,butyou can'ttouch it.Can you give m e an exam ple ofone?”“Sure,”a teenage boy replied,“M…     

时间前介词的省略

Pat Hogan was traveling around the country in the car. One evening he was driving along a road and looking for a small hotel when he saw an old man at the side of the road. He stopped his car and said to the old man, “I want to go to the Sun Hotel. Do you know it?“     

Talk to Your Dog

All of us often see dogs.As we know,a dog can’t1,but it can“talk”.It has feelings2as we do.Sometimes it may feel angry or afraid.If you watch a dog3,you can find outwhat it feels.You can see that it is4to tell you something.If a dog is5of you,it looks …