幽默与笑话(英文)

A Two little boys were discussing their future."What are you going to be when you grow up?"asked one of them."A soldier,"answered the other."What if you get killed?""Who would want to kill me?""The enemy."The other boy thought this over and said finally:"OK,then,I’ll be the enemy."     

幽默与笑话(英文)

Different dates A Russian diplomat (外交官 ) and his American were having a date (约会) at a U.S. night club.     

幽默与笑话

不许唱；费尽心思；爸爸没在家；透明体；三百零八根。     

幽默与笑话

A surprise! We had just moved into a new school district （地区）, when my brother was invited to a surprise birthday party. He didn＇t want to go, because he couldn＇t remember ever meeting the birthday boy.     

幽默与笑话

妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴．汤米回来后，妈妈问他．“你买的是好用的火柴吗？” “是的，妈妈．”汤米回答“我把它们都试过了．”     

幽默与笑话

只有一只 教师：汤姆，有一次我看见桌子上有四只苍蝇，抬手打死了一只。请你告诉我桌子上还剩几只苍蝇？汤姆：只有一只，就是您打死的那只。教师：答对了，我想你是一位聪明的学生。     

幽默与笑话

情况是糟，还是更糟？ “生意做得怎么样？”迈克走进朋友开的服装店问道。 “糟透了，”约翰抱怨，“生意简直糟透了，昨天我才买了一件衣服，今天更糟。”     

幽默与笑话

Call Me a Doctor! While sitting on the train one day,the man next to me started screaming, ＂Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!＂ I asked, ＂Are you sick？＂ ＂No,＂ he replied, ＂I just graduated from medical school.＂     

幽默与笑话

Visiting Grandpa
A 6-year-old goes to the hospital with her Grandma to vsit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa＇s room.     

幽默与笑话

他真是一个大人物 ——我叔叔下面有1000个人。 ——他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ ——墓地守墓人。     

HUMOUR AND JOKES

Down to the earth A science teacher was appointed to a school in a remote village.On his first day he talked about modern science and how it helps human     

幽默与笑话

Kidspeak 儿童语言 Our four-year-old son speaks English and French, and he has picked up some Guangdongese since living in Hong Kong. One day I was getting ready to take him to a rugby game. His mother, not being a rugby fan, planned a quiet afternoon at home. Our son, however, pleased.     

HUMOUR AND JOKES

Good or bad news?One time an airline pilot said to his passengers:"Ladies and gentlemen,I have some bad news and some good news for you.The bad news is that we have a hijacker(劫机者)on board."On hearing this,some people got frightened and hid     

JOKES AND HUMOUR

1. WHOSE MISTAKES?Teacher: (Looking through Tom' s homework) Iwonder how one person could make so many mistakes?     

幽默与笑话

A Tasty Meal A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the States, he called her. "Hi Mom," he said. "How'd you like the bird I gave you?" "It was delicious."     

JOKES AND STORIES

A One day an American policeman was taking a thief to Washington D.C.On the way,they saw a shop.The thief said to the policeman,"Let me go into the shop to buy something we can eat in the train." The policeman agreed and waited in front of the shop.The thief went into the shop and ran away through the back door.All the policemen of the town began to look for the thief again.They soon caught him.They asked the same policeman to take the thief to the capital again.On the way the thief again wanted to buy something.But the policeman said,"You are going to run away.But this time I'll go and get something myself.You must wait right here."     

JOKES AND SSTTOORRIIEESS

A On the way,they saw a shop.The thief said to the policeman,“Let me go in-to the shop to buy something we can eat in the train.”The policeman agreedand waited in front of the shop.The thief went into the shop and ran awaythrough the back door.All the policemen of the town began to look for the     

HUMOUR AND JOKES

A Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to steal a neighbour's doorbell. But he clearly understood that while his hand touched the bell, it would ring and something terrible would happen to him. The ringing could be heard by others. So he covered his ears with something, thinking that everything would be all right and that he could get the doorbell without any trouble. But what happened was that he was caught on the spot for stealing the doorbell of his neighbour.