英语小笑话

正My Sister’s Fingers Teacher:Kevin,why are you late this time?Kevin:Please sir,Ibruised two fingers knocking in a nailat home.Teacher:Idon’t see any bandages.Kevin:Oh,they weren’t my fingers!Itold my little sister to hold the nail.我妹妹的手指头老师:凯温,这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温:对不起,老师,我在家钉钉子,砸坏了两个手指头。老师:怎么没有扎绷带呀?     

Jokes and Humour

Teacher:Peter,why aye you late for school again?Peter: Well,Miss,I dreamed that I was play- ing football and the game went into ex—tra time.老师:彼得,你怎么上学又迟到了?彼得:噢,老师,我梦见自己在踢足球,球赛进入了加时赛。     

汤姆的借口

正[英语原文]Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"school—go slow".[汉语翻译]老师:汤姆,你为什么每天上学都迟到?汤姆:每次我路过拐角时,一个路标上就写着:"学校—慢行。"     

轻松一刻

A Special Football Match Mikewaslateforschool.HesaidtoMr.Brack熏histeacher熏“Excusemeformycominglate熏sir.Iwatchedafootballmatchinmydream.”“Whydiditmakeyoulate芽”inquiredtheteacher.“Becauseneitherteamcouldwinthegame熏soitlastedalongtime.”repliedMike.特殊的足球赛迈克上课迟到了,他对老师布莱克先生说:“对不起,我迟到了,老师,我梦见了一场足球赛。”老师问:“那为什么会使你迟到呢?”迈克回答说:“因为两个队不分胜负,因此持续了很长时间。”Mother Was Too Busy Teacher押Mike熏you’realwaysask…     

昨天的鸡蛋

正[英语原文]Teacher:David,why don't you wash your face?I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.David:What was it?Teacher:Eggs.David:Wrong,teacher.That was yesterday.[汉语翻译]老师:大卫,为什么你不洗脸?我能从你脸上看出你今天的早餐是什么。     

半个还是十分之五

老师:你愿意要半个柑橘,还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得:我宁可要半个。老师:仔细想想,说出理由来。杰拉得:因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五,那柑橘汁就损失太多了。Teacher:Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald:I’d much rather have the half.Teacher:Think carefully,and tell me why.Gerald:Because you lose too much juice when you     

Jokes and Humour

Teacher:Tom,did you write this poem all by yourself?Tom: I did.Teacher:Then I’m very pleased to meet you, Robert Louis Stevenson.I thought you had died years ago!老师:汤姆,这首诗是你自己写的吗?汤姆:是我写的。老师:那我非常荣幸地见到了你,罗伯特·路易斯·斯蒂文森。我原以为你早就去世了呢! 注:Robert Louis Steven(1850-1894),英国作家,著有小说《金银岛》等。     

袜子

Teacher:Peter,why are you wearing a redsock and a green sock?Go home and change them.Peter:No need to change them,miss.There isa red sock and a green sock at home,too. 老师子?快回家换掉。彼得一只绿袜子。双语空间:彼得,你怎么穿一只红袜子,彼得:不必换了,老师,家里也是一只红袜子,袜子@Booby     

Jokes and Humour

Teacher:Tom,did you write this poem all by yourself?Tom: I did.Teacher:Then I’m very pleased to meet you, Robert Louis Stevenson.I thought you had died years ago!老师:汤姆,这首诗是你自己写的吗?汤姆:是我写的。老师:那我非常荣幸地见到了你,罗伯特&;#183;路易斯&;#183;斯蒂文森。我原以为你早就去世了呢! 注:Robert Louis Steven(1850-1894),英国作家,著有小说《金银岛》等。     

迟到的原因

Teacher:Johnny,whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning?Johnny:EverytimeIcometothecorner,aguidepostsays:“School———GoSlow.”老师:约翰尼,为什么你每天早晨都迟到?约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处,就见路牌上写着“学校———缓行”。迟到的原因     

幽默小故事

老师:杰克,请告诉我,祖国是什么?杰克:祖国是我的母亲。老师:很好。汤姆,你能告诉我祖国是什么吗?汤姆:先生,祖国是杰克的母亲。Teacher:Jack,what is motherland?Please tell me.Jack:Motherland is my mother.Teacher:Very good.Tom,can you tell me what motherland is?Tom:     

英语笑话

Teacher: If you had five cents in one pocket and eighteen cents inthe other pocket, how much money would you have?Student: None. I'd have somebody else's trousers on.教师:假若在你的一只口袋里有5美分而在另一只口袋里有18美分,那么你一共有多少钱呢?学生:一美分也没有。我老是穿别人的裤子。Teacher: Can I have your homework?Student: I haven't got itTeacher: What do you mean? Why haven't you got it?Student: I made a paper plane out of it, and someone hijacked it!教师:我能看看你的家庭作业吗?学生:我没…     

Being Late

Teacher: Why areyou late forschool?Boy:It was late when I started from home.Teacher:Then why didn’t you start early?Boy:It was alreadytoo late to startearly,sir.注释:be late for school上学迟到start v出发already adv已经too…to 太……以至于不能…     

笑话两则

Tom's Excuse Teacher:Tom,why are youlate for school every day?汤姆,你为什么每天上学迟到? Tom:Every time I come tothe corner,a sign says,“School-Go Slow.”我每次路过     

我没有做作业

[英语原文] I Didn'tDo My Homework Tom:Teacher,will you scold a boy for something he didn't do? Teacher:Of course not. Tom:That's good.I didn't do my homework. [汉语翻译] 我没有做作业 汤姆:老师,您会责骂一个没有做某件事的孩子吗? 老师:当然不会. 汤姆:那太好了.我没有做作业. [小幽默大智慧] 汤姆设下圈套,让老师按照他的思路走,使得老师无法批评他没有做作业.     

Jokes

(A) A teacher asked his students to do a good thing each day.The nextday,he asked three students: Teacher:What good thing did you do yesterday,Jack? Jack:I helped a granny cross the street. Teacher:That’s good.And what about you,Tom?     

猜谜语

老师:“孩子们,我有个谜语要你们猜:有一种东西,浑身都是漂亮的羽毛,每天早晨它能叫你起床。那是什么东西,汤姆?”汤姆:“鸡毛掸子,爸爸每天都用它叫我起床。”Teacher:Boys,I have a riddle to ask you.There's something wearing beautiful feather,and it can wake you up e     

英语幽默

At the Milltary Theory class, 军事理论课上.在放映幻the teacher 1 s showing sl'des。 灯片。Teacher:HeY,waKe uD.you 老师:喂,醒醒,不许在shouldn‘t sleep 1 n class. 这里睡觉。Studellt:I’m sorrY.S1 r_I 举生:噢,对不起,老师。can‘t Keep awaKe with the dim 因为这里灯光昏暗,我实11ght. 在没法保持清醒。Teacher:Aren’t the s11des ex一 老师;难道这部片子不够C1 t1 ng enough to Keep you 精彩到让你保持清醒awake? 吗?Student:Yes.1t 1 s.But you 学生:是的,它很精彩。但don’t Know,Sir,the scene 1n 你不知道…     

课堂常用语(一)

Teacher:Good morning.everyone.Where did we leave off last time?老师:早上好,同学们。上节课我们讲到什么地方了?Student: We finished the secondlesson,and we are going to start thethird lesson.学生:第二课已讲完,要讲第三课了。Teacher:Right.Thank you.老师:好!谢谢!     

FUNNY READINGS

Teacher:There are three words and pupils often use themin class.Do you know what they are? Student:I don't know…Teacher:Quite right. B Mrs Mouse takes her children for a walk and they meet a