FUNNY STORIES

I wasn’t a t hief One day I went out and left my key at home. When I came back, I couldn’t get in because my wife was away staying with her friends. I had to break a window, so I found a big stone. There was a great noise when I broke the glass, and I had to be careful when I reached through to turn the     

There Was Nobody Available

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed.She could see from the bedroom window.As I looked for myself,I saw that there were people in the shed taking things.I phoned the police,but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time,but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.I said OK,hung up,and waited one minute,then phoned     

My Experience of Feeding a Cat

I liked cat very much. In my old opinion, cat was cute and gentle. One day, my friend asked me to feed the cat for him. So I went to his house in order to take care of his cat. His neighbor was an old woman. When I was doing some cleaning, the old woman asked me if I needed some help. Suddenly, the cat stretched out its sharp claws, and clawed me and bit me with its sharp teeth. WowA It was too abrupt. The old woman got scared. “It goes crazyA” I said and asked her to get out of the room, otherwise she woul...     

My Experience of Feeding a Cat

I liked cat very much. In my old opinion, cat was cute and gentle. One day, my friend asked me to feed the cat for him. So I went to his house in order to take care of his cat. His neighbor was an old woman. When I was doing some cleaning, the old woman asked me if I needed some help. Suddenly, the cat stretched out its sharp claws, and clawed me and bit me with its sharp teeth. WowA It was too abrupt. The old woman got scared. “It goes crazyA” I said and asked her to get out of the roo…     

名人论“智慧”

Mark Twain:When I was a boy of fourteen,my father was so ignorant[愚昧的] I could hardly stand to have the old man around.But when I got to be twenty-one,I was astonished[惊讶的] at how much the old man had learned in seven years.     

My Best Friend

It was raining heavily on Sunday morning. I was doing my math exercises at home. Suddenly I came across a difficult problem. I thought about it for nearly half an hour, but I couldn't work it out. At this moment I couldn't help remembering my best friend Li Xia.Li Xia is my classmate. She is warm-hearted, and willing to help oth- ers. I got to know her when I began to study in Grade Two. At that time, I was poor in math, but she was good at math. So she always did her best to help me wi…     

The Magic Power of a Smile

Two years ago I transferred to a new school.Everything seemed strange to me at first.On my frist day to the new school I was in a great hurry.I was almost running when a girl riding a bike offered to give me a lift.We came into the same classroom together.Oh,she knew me after all!She was my classmate!I thanked her,but she just gave me a big smile.     

圣人与诗人

Last year my father left his hearing aid in the hotel section of my yellow pages and I forgot to send it back to him for about two months, during which tune he kept his hand cupped perpetually around his good ear and shouted, "What's that?" every time he saw someone's mouth moving. Reminds me of a story our preacher told about an old gal who lived in New Hampshire. One day she plucked the hearing aid from her ear and threw it in the trash. "I'm ninety four years old and I've heard enough," she said.     

妈妈的双手

Night after night,she came to 1)tuck me in,even long after my childhood years.Following her 2)longstanding custom,she'd 3)lean down and push my long hair out of the way,then kiss my forehead. I don't remember when it first started annoying me—her hands pushing my hair that way.But it did annoy me,for they felt work-4)worn and rough against my young skin.Finally,one night,I shouted out at her,"Don't do that anymore—your hands are too rough!" She didn't say anything.But never again did my mother close out my day with that familiar expression of love.     

完形填空精练

A gift left to herEarly in the morning,I was taken in a ny-lon bag into a truck.I felt horrible as well as1.What would she do with me?She wasalmost mad after the2of her husband.A few minutes later,I heard the truck3its engine and move fast.I kept makingsounds to show my protest,but failed to makeany4.Finally she put me down in a5place.Maybe she didn’t want me to die fromlack of air;she untied the bag.I6out and looked up,only to seemany strange faces and fingers pointing at me.It turned ou…     

失明

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend who was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ＂If I could only see the World, I will marry you.＂     

幽默小故事

“妈妈，今天老师问我，我还有没有兄弟姐妹会来这所学校上学。”“你的老师人真好，那你告诉她你是独生子了吧，她后来怎么说的？”“她说‘谢天谢地!’。”     

Marika,MTV音乐节目主持人（俄罗斯）

Mar]ka13岁入行当模特．很快就声名鹊起。她2001年被选为莫斯科小姐的第二名．2005年还被评为莫斯科最美丽的100人之一。2001年她开始从事电视工作．主持MTV在俄罗斯的一个音乐节目。目前，她不但主持着MTV俄罗斯的数个节目．担当演出和音乐会司仪，还继续从事模特工作。“我是MTV的音乐节目主持人．     

让我们一起邀请

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."     

Violin Lessons

亲爱的同学们,本栏目选编了一系列妙趣横生的故事,其目的在于帮助你们提高英语阅读理解能力,增加词汇量,增进对西方幽默感的理解。每篇故事均附有生词表及阅读自测题,加油吧!     

我眼中的赵涛

在那天之前我采访过很多明星,包括著名的导演贾樟柯。我不能说在等待采访赵涛（我最喜欢的女演员之一）时非常紧张,但很显然,我非常的兴奋。毕竟,她参演了贾樟柯导演的多部佳作,但那份略显神秘的对贾樟柯导演的坚定不移的执着更让我好奇。从很多方面来看,采访她比采访贾樟柯导演更具意义。好吧,我承认,我的确有那么一点儿紧张。     

周迅，演员（中国）

周迅是国际知名的中国演员和歌手。在电影《苏州河》以及《巴尔扎克的小裁缝》中的表演赢得了世界的瞩目。她还是一名歌手，已经发行了两张个人专辑。“我经常在世界各地旅行，遏见形形色色的人，参加各种各样的活动，总是有这样的时候——许多镜头对准了站在聚光灯下的我。这会让我一下子就迷失了自己。回到宾馆，     

《金瓶梅》中的潘金莲形象

潘金莲是一个被封建制度和封建礼教文化压抑、逼迫,从而被扭曲异化的妇女典型形象。她是中国封建社会制度下觉醒的女人,她不安于现状,她渴望得到幸福,但是在她所生活的夫权制度社会下不容许她有这样的想法和行为。她企图改变命运,追求幸福,却遭到重重阻拦,在追求中丧失了自我从而走向堕落的深渊。她为了达到目的,手段凶狠,但是在封建夫权制度下她又束手无策,必须得到男人的帮助她才会实现自己的理想,在这点上她又很懦弱。     

徐萧垠：跟定老师不放松

1. Mrs. Jones was still cleaning the house when her husband came back from work. She was wearing dirty, old clothes and no stockings, her hair was not tidy. She had dust on her face, and she looked dirty and tired.     

难堪的沉默

I watched her draw while the dust from the country road billowed around the passenger seat window. She held the red felt-tipped pen in her slight hand like it was an extension of her self. Small squares of yellow memo pad paper were scattered in her lap.