幽默与笑话

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。     

幽默与笑话

一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的？”他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。     

幽默与笑话

Punishment for Missing Church A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs.     

幽默与笑话

有个男子去看牙医，他害怕得要死。 为了让这位患者放松，牙医给他倒了一杯威士忌。他一饮而尽，又要了一杯。 牙医问：“你现在恢复勇气了吗？”     

幽默与笑话

Call Me a Doctor! While sitting on the train one day,the man next to me started screaming, ＂Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!＂ I asked, ＂Are you sick？＂ ＂No,＂ he replied, ＂I just graduated from medical school.＂     

幽默与笑话

Visiting Grandpa
A 6-year-old goes to the hospital with her Grandma to vsit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa＇s room.     

幽默与笑话

Homeless Woman A woman was walking down the street. Without warning, she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.     

幽默与笑话

Romance Mathematics
Smart man ＋ smart woman = romance
Smart man ＋dumb woman = affair
Dumb man ＋ smart woman = marriage
Dumb man ＋ dumb woman =pregnancy     

幽默与笑话

把乌龟换成狼 老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明，你说说看，兔子为什么输给了乌龟？     

幽默与笑话

Wife Swap
Two cannibals- a father and his son - are elected by their tribe to go out and get something to eat. The pair walk deep into the jungle and wait by a path. Before long, a little old man walks by.     

幽默与笑话

A surprise! We had just moved into a new school district （地区）, when my brother was invited to a surprise birthday party. He didn＇t want to go, because he couldn＇t remember ever meeting the birthday boy.     

幽默与笑话

经过三天严酷的训练,士兵们个个精疲力尽。他们被集合起来进行讲评。一位军官命令士兵们立正,这时他注意到有个士兵服装不整,无精打采。     

幽默笑话

公布实情 某晚，母亲和小女儿坐计程车回家，经过城中的流骛猖獗地带时，女儿问：“妈，她们在等什么？”     

幽默与笑话

不许唱；费尽心思；爸爸没在家；透明体；三百零八根。     

幽默与笑话

A woman visited the zoo and asked akeeper whether the zebra （斑马） was male ora female.     

笑话与幽默

A. He Said NothingMum: What did your father say when he saw hisbroken watch?Boy: Shall I leave out the swear-words, Mum? Mum: OK. Boy: Then I don' t think he said anything.     

笑话与幽默

A. NEED A NICE HAIR-CUTBarber: Your hair needs cutting badly. Customer: No, it needs cutting nicely. You cut it badly last time.