Jokes

(A) A teacher asked his students to do a good thing each day.The nextday,he asked three students: Teacher:What good thing did you do yesterday,Jack? Jack:I helped a granny cross the street. Teacher:That’s good.And what about you,Tom?     

Shape

Teacher: Jack, what’s the shape of the earth(地球)? Jack: En, it’s a sphere(球体). Teacher: Why do you think it’s a sphere? Jack: Isn’t it a sphere? It must be a cube(立方体).     

幽默小故事

老师:杰克,请告诉我,祖国是什么?杰克:祖国是我的母亲。老师:很好。汤姆,你能告诉我祖国是什么吗?汤姆:先生,祖国是杰克的母亲。Teacher:Jack,what is motherland?Please tell me.Jack:Motherland is my mother.Teacher:Very good.Tom,can you tell me what motherland is?Tom:     

The Bird

In class the teacher shows pictures of various birds. Teacher: What kind of birds do you like best, Jack? Jack: Fried chicken, sir.     

Jokes and Humour

Father's motto Teacher:My children,remember this motto:Give others more and leave for yourself less.Jack:It's just my father's motto!Teacher:How noble your father is!What's his occupation?Jack:He is a boxer.父亲的格言老师:孩子们,记住这句格言:“多给予,少接受。”杰克:那正是我爸爸的格言。老师:你父亲一定是个高尚的人。他是干什么的?杰克:他是个拳击手。It is time for supper It was two o'clock in the afternoon.A five-year-old child asked her mother,“Mum,why isn't there any children's program on T…     

English Humors

I.Don’tworryTom:Oh,DearMe。Wehavetogobackatonce.Jack:What’swrong?Tom:Iforgottoturnoffthegas.Itmightstartafire.Jack:Don’tworry.Iforgottoturnoffthegap.别担心汤姆:天哪!我们必须马上回去。杰克:怎么了?汤姆:我忘记关煤气了。可能会引起火灾。杰克:别着急。我忘记关水龙头II.FivecoinsTeacher:Tom,ifyouhavefivecoinsinyourhandnow,canItakesixout?Tom:No,Sir.Teacher:You’reright,andwhynot?Tom:Becausethey’renotyours.五枚硬币老师:汤姆,现在如果你手上有5枚硬币,我能拿出6个吗?汤姆:不能,先生。老师:你说对了…     

幽默二则

ⅠJack:Idon'tthinkIshouldgetazerointheexam,sir.Teacher:Metoo.butitishardformetogiveyouamarklessthanthezero.杰克:老师,这次考试,我认为我不该得零分。老师:是啊,不过我实在找不到比零更小的数给你判分了。     

HUMOURS

Teacher and Student In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then heasked one of the students. "What kind of bird do you like best,Jack?" Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."     

幽默

(A)Teacher:Whatareyougoingtobewhenyougrowup?Boy:IthinkIcanbecomeawriter.Teacher:Awriter?That蒺shardwork,isn蒺tit?Boy:Idon蒺tthinkso.It蒺sveryeasybecauseallthewordsneed鄄edareinthedictionary.Teacher:So?Boy:AllIhavetodoisrearrange(重新排列)them.(B)MrsRose:Excuseme,sir!Amanrobbed(抢)meofmygoldwatchmomentsago.Policeman:Didyoucryoutforhelp?MrsRose:No,Ididn蒺t.Ihavefourgoldteethinmymouth!(C)Teacher:Arethereanyquestionsintheexam?Youseemtohavemetsometrouble.Tod:No.Allthequestionsareclear,…     

趣E林

开学了，你的感觉如何？QQ姐姐建议你在假期里读的书，有没有用处啊!你一定已经和其他同学偷偷作了比较，你应该胜券在握了！春天来了，万物复苏的季节来了，你努力进取奋发图强的季节也来了。QQ姐姐祝你在这个美好的季节里，播下成功的种子。加油啊！学习的道路上是没有捷径的啊！趣E林:异想天开EnglandandtheMoonTeacher:Whichisfartheraway,Englandorthemoon?Jack:England.Teacher:England?Why?Jack:BecauseIcanseethemoon,butIcan'tseeEngland.(以上两篇笑话由牡丹江市向阳小学六(4)班李昕提供)优秀翻译者名单牡丹江市平安小学…     

歪打正着(英文)

Teacher:Name two pronouns,Tom.Tom:Who?Me?Teacher:Good.Sitdown,please.歪打正着(英文)     

The Plural of“Child”

Teacher:What is the plural of man,Tom?Tom:Men.Teacher:Good.And the plural of child?     

Jokes And Humour

Father’ m otto sTeacher押M y children熏rem em ber this m otto熏G ive others m ore and leave for yourself less.Jack押 It s just m y father s m otto选 ’ ’Teacher押H ow noble your father is选W hat’s his occupation芽Jack押 H e is a boxer. 父亲的格言老师 孩子们 记住这句格言 多给予 少接受 : , :“ , 。”杰克 那正是我爸爸的格言 : 。老师 你父亲一定是个高尚的人 他是干什么的 : 。 ?杰克 他是个拳击手 : 。 It is tim e for supper It w as t…     

Where Were You Born?

Teacher: Tom, where were you born? Tom: I was born in England. Teacher: Which part? Tom: All of me.     

小幽默

Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday?Student: Seven.Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?Student: Nine.Teacher: ??? That's impossible.Student: No, it isn't. I'm eight today.小幽默@一帆 @李征 @刘国权     

HUMOUR AND JOKES

(A) Teacher:What do we getfrom sheep? Boy:Wool. Teacher:You are quiteright.And what do we makefrom wool?     

Right?

Teacher: Are you right?You are sleeping in theclass.Pupil:No.I'm not right.Teacher:What?Pupil:It's worse thasleeping in the bed.     

Which Is Farther Away?

Teacher:Which is farther away,A ustralia or the moon?Bobby:A ustralia.Teacher:W hy do you say that? Bobby:Because we can see the m oon,we can tsee A ustralia.Which Is Farther Away?     

Where Does God Live?

Teacher:Now,Joan,can you tell me where God lives?Joan:Yes,Miss,I think he lives in the bathroom.Teacher:In the bathroom?Why?     

英语快餐(英文)

The Plural Form of“Child”Teacher:What is the plural(复数)of man,Tom?Tom:Men.Teacher:Good.And the plural of child?Tom:Twins.