Grinning All the Time

Mick was seen leaving the theatre at the interval(幕间休息)during anew play. “Excuse me,sir”,said the doorman,“Isn’t the play to your liking?”“It’s not that at all,”said Mick. “It’s just that the programme saysthat the second act takes place two weeks later,and my mother told me to be     

JOKES AND SSTTOORRIIEESS

A On the way,they saw a shop.The thief said to the policeman,“Let me go in-to the shop to buy something we can eat in the train.”The policeman agreedand waited in front of the shop.The thief went into the shop and ran awaythrough the back door.All the policemen of the town began to look for the     

2 Jokes

公牛和母牛老师问学生:句子“公牛和母牛都在田野上”语法对不对?大多数孩子说:“是的,是正确的!”但是只有一个小男孩说:“不对,这不正确。应该‘女士优先’。”Ox and CowA teacher asked her class,“Is thesentence‘The ox and the cow are in thefields’correct?”M ost of the children said,“Yes,thatis right!”But only one little boy said,“No,itis not correct.The lady m ust be m entionedfirst.”老师哭了六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母,他想要什么不…     

掉进陷阱的老虎(英文)

1.O ne day,a tiger fell into a trap.H e cried,“H elp。H elp。”2.A m ouse saw him and said to anelephant,“Let’s help the poor(可怜的tiger.”The elephant said,“H e is going toeat you.”“B ut he needs our help,”saidthe m ouse.3.A snake cam e and said,“I can helhim .” The snake and the elephant helpethe tiger out.4. “Thankyou,m y friends,”said the tiger.“B ut I’m hotand hungrynow.” Suddenlythe tiger ate thesnake.The elephant and the m ouse w ere veryangry.They said,“Y ou’re a…     

JOKES AND STORIES

A One day an American policeman was taking a thief to Washington D.C.On the way,they saw a shop.The thief said to the policeman,"Let me go into the shop to buy something we can eat in the train." The policeman agreed and waited in front of the shop.The thief went into the shop and ran away through the back door.All the policemen of the town began to look for the thief again.They soon caught him.They asked the same policeman to take the thief to the capital again.On the way the thief again wanted to buy something.But the policeman said,"You are going to run away.But this time I'll go and get something myself.You must wait right here."     

阅读理解表格式填空题专项训练(英文)

Every time you go to the supermarket,you come away with your purchases packed in plastic bag s.But wouldn’t it bekinder to the environ-ment if you asked for paper bags instead?The answer is not as easy as it might seem .Environmentalists say there are drawbacks(缺点)to using both plastic bags and paper bag s.Accord-ing to the American Plastics Council(美国塑料委员会),80 per cent of groceries(杂货)in the US are packed in plastic bag s.“The numbers are be-coming huge,”said Vincent Cobb,…     

含蓄表达法在英语中的运用

含蓄表达又称间接肯定法。它以反面之否定代替肯定,如用not bad来代替good,例如:It is not a holiday undertaking to gohrough this work完成此项工作并非度假那般轻松。The burglar was climbing up the window,whenthere came a sarcastic voice below from a policeman;“I don’t think the window needs to be cleaned.”窃贼正往窗上爬时,一位警察的讽刺的声音传了上来:“我认为这个窗子不需要擦。”英国人说话写文章大多喜欢含蓄、隐而不露.情在不言中。所以听英语、看英文都要懂得这一点才能领会其言外之意,下面是一些常见的用法:一、轻描淡写比如Very这个程度副词,意为to a high degree,英国人常用一些低调词(downtoners)例如rather和quite来代替它。例:She’s rather good—looking.她十分美貌.(直译是:她相当美貌)。     

超级成语SHOW

1.get someone’s back up惹某人生气,把某人惹翻了A:What did you do to get her back up?B:I only said she was easy to take offense.A:And what else did you say?B:Well,I also said she was not even a child.A:But these remarks were enough to get her back up.A:你怎么惹她生气了?B:我只是说她爱生气。A:你还说了什么?B:我还说她连一个孩子都不如。A:这些话语就足够让她生气了。2.get the drop on sb.先发制人,抢在某人的前面A:What’s the score of the first half?B:They got the drop on us and took the lead by2to1…     

谁的父亲更强壮

威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说:“喏,你知道太平洋吗?就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。”比尔不屑一顾:“噢,那没什么。你知道死海吗?那是我爸爸杀死的。”Will and Bill werequarrelling about whose fa-ther was the stronger.Will said,“Well,youknow the Pacific O cean?M y father’s the one who dug the hole for it.”Bill wasn’t impressed,“Well,that’snothing.Y ou know the Dead Sea?My father’s谁的父亲更强壮!河北@和宝君     

Please Accept The Money

One day,a man told the Father[神父],“Oh,dear Father．I have stolen ten thousand yuan!”“But it’s not right for you to do so,”said the Father.“Well,do you want it?”said the man．     

Jokes and Humor

你爸爸帮你了吗?一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了。老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:“蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?”“不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做。”蒂姆说道。Did Your Father Help You?O ne day,Tim’s m ath teacher lookedat his hom ework and saw that he had gotall his sum s right.The teacher was veryhappy and surprised.H e asked Tim to hisdesk and said to him,“Y ou got all yourhom ew ork right this tim e,Tim.W hathappened?D i…     

I Have No Money!

A man went into a bar, sat down, called the barman and said to him, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts."一个人走进酒吧坐了下来, 然后叫 来服务生, 并对他说“:先给我一杯喝的 吧, 待会儿麻烦就来了。”The barman was busy with other peo- ple, so he did not say anything, but he gave him the drink, and the man drank it quickly. Then he put his glass down, called the barman again and said to him, “Give me another one before the trouble starts.”服务生忙着招待其他的客人, 所以他什么也没有说, 把一…     

爱丽丝漫游奇境记

王后的槌球场The Queen’s Croquet Ground It is a large rose-tree and the roses are white. And under the tree stand three gardeners. They are busy painting them red. Alice thinks it strange and goes nearer to watch them. "Would you tell me." said Alice. a little timidly, "why you are painting those roses?" 有一棵大玫瑰树,花是白色的,三个园丁正忙着把白花染红。爱丽丝觉得很奇怪,走过去想看看。“请你们告诉我,”爱丽丝胆怯地说,“为什么染玫瑰花呢?”     

Mr Smith and the Doctor

Mr Smith was ill and he went to see a doctor. The doctor asked him toput out his tongue(舌头),and then he said,“OK.You can put your tongueback now. There’s nothing wrong with you,but I'm afraid you have aproblem:you seldom take exercise.”。“But,doctor.”Mr Smith said,“I don’t think so.”“Don’t tell me what you think,“the doctor said.“I know what yon need.     

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,用胳膊肘按左边的门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼答道。The notorious cheapskate finally decidedto have a party.Explaining to a friendhow to find his apartment,he said,“Com e up to the 5th floor and ring thedoorbell on the left with your elbow.When the door opens,push with yourfoot.”“Why use my elbow and foot?”“Well,gosh.”was the reply,“Y ou’re not coming empty-handed,are you?”吝啬鬼请客     

Jokes and Humor

1.M iss the F irst E ight O nes。Jane was late.A nd she asked a m anwho was sitting next to her,“Excuse m e,what is being perform ed on the stage?”Them an said,“Beethoven’s ninth sym phony.”H earing this,she regretted,“O h。I shouldn’thave been so late.I m issed the firsteightones。”我错过了前八个呀!简迟到了。她就问坐在旁边的男士:“请问,台上在演什么呢?”男士说:“贝多芬的第九交响曲。”一听这话,她后悔了,“唉!我真不该迟到。我错过了前八个呀!”2.L ucky or U nluckyA young m an saw a beautiful girl carry-ing a cat in her hands on his w ay hom e.The young m an said,“I wish I w ere acat。”The ...     

受表扬还是受批评?(英文)

A young woman carrying a three- year- old child got on a bus. The conductor hurriedto give her a warm welcome and then kindly asked the other passengers to make moreroom for the woman and her child. On seeing this, people began to talk.“You know this conductor used to be very rude. Now suddenly he has changed hisbad attitude ( 态度),”said a middle- aged man.“Yes, he should be praised and we must write a letter to the company,”said the secondpassenger.“That’s right,”another lady said,“…     

开心一刻(英文)

TIGERA father and his small son werestanding in front of the tiger’s cage at thezoo.Father was explaining how ferocious(凶猛的)and strong tigers are,and junior(年少者,晚辈,这里指儿子)was taking it allin with a serious expression.“Dad,”the boy said finally,“if the tigergot out of his cage and ate you up…”“Yes,son?”the father said expectantly(期待地).“What bus should I take home?”theboy finished.     

A Fashion Show

Story: The yearly fashion show day.The children take turns to walk on the stage and show the class their favorite clothes.Now it’s Joe’s and Phoebe’s turn.Joe walks on the stage and says,“My shorts are blue.Do you like my blue shorts?”On the other side of the stage, Phoebe is wearing her favorite pink skirt.“My skirt is pink.Do you like my pink skirt?”asks     

短文改错五题(英文)

The college had va very good football team,and it’s best player was the student who always made trouble in school Then one day the dean(校长)of the college said that the player would have to leave because he cheated at an exam The football coach(教练)immediately went to a dean to try to persuade him not to let the student stay in school.Th dean showed him two answer paper. "This one is Susan's pape She is the best student in the class,"he said. "And this one' s your football player' s. They…