Humour

孩子太多经过通宵飞行,母亲和我们九个吵吵闹闹、推推搡搡的孩子们到达了德国莱茵美因空军基地,看望在此执行最新军事任务的父亲。海关官员询问疲倦不堪的母亲:您带有武器或违禁药物吗?先生,母亲一边说,一边拉开我和弟弟,这两样东西我要是有一样,我早就用了。     

Humour

Mother’s Birthday Present妈妈的生日礼物Kate:Mom,do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday?Mom:No,honey,what?Kate:A nice teapot.Mom:But I’ve got a nice teapot.Kate:No,you haven’t.I’ve just dropped it.凯特院妈妈袁你知道我要送你一件什么     

Humour

My friend's father was proud of his family of six children. He frequently referred to his wife as "Mother of Six" , much to her annoyance(烦恼). Finally, she cured him of his habit. At the end of a party, he called out loud enough for everyone to hear,     

Humour

你的眼睛肯定比妈妈的好使女主人向突然到访的客人道歉里没有奶酪了袁只能提供没有奶酪的苹果馅饼了遥这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子遥过了一会儿袁他拿着一片奶酪回到房间袁放到客人的盘子里遥客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说院野孩子袁你的眼睛肯定比你妈妈的好使遥     

Humour

好枪法枪总是让我感到害怕。但是,我的新工作需要运输贵重物品,于是我打定主意买支枪保护自己。因为我对枪支基本一无所知,所以就加入了一个手枪俱乐部,希望能恶补一些必要的常识。教官在对我的技术进行了几周的观察评估之后,把我拉到了一边。     

Humour

A strict RuleTom's mother made it a rule that if he came to the dinner table late he was not allowed to speak a single word during the meal. Yesterday he didn't arrive until everybody had sat down,. As soon as he entered the room he began with. "I say, mother…"but his mother quickly reminded him of the rule.     

Humour

这是谁的工作?这个故事讲到了四个人,他们分别叫作每个人、有些人、任何人和没有人。有一项重要的工作要求每个人做。每个人确信有些人会做。本来任何人可以做的,可是没有人做。有些人对此很气愤,因为这是每个人的工作。每个人想任何人可以做,可是没有人意识到每个人都不会做。结果,在没有人做任何人都能做的事情     

Humour

上帝在卫生间里因为圣诞节强调是上帝的生日,一所主日学校(指周日对儿童进行宗教教育的学校)里的老师担心那些学龄前的孩子们搞不清楚上帝是谁。老师希望孩子们都明白上帝的诞生和     

Humour

What do you need?"Now,madam," said the salesman after showing his company's products, "what do you need at home? " "Money," she said.ImprovementOne student to another: "How are your English lessons coming     

Humour

Tom came to a small restaurant for lunch. Somehow he wanted to go to the toilet, but he didn't know where it was. He asked a waiter who was passing by."Just follow the flies !" answered the waiter.Mum: Naughty boy! Did you fight with others? Look! You have had you     

Humour

找借口汤姆厌恶上学,总是找借口不去上学。如果他打喷嚏,他就叫妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了。如果他头痛,他就叫妈妈在上学时间带他去看病。他待在家里的时间比在学校里要多。在他不得不上学的日子里,他就找借口早点回家。一天上午,他上了一半课就从学校回来了。他爸爸很惊讶。你回来很早,他爸爸说,学校放学了吗?没有,爸爸,汤姆说,还没放学。我提前回来了。你怎么会提前回来呢?爸爸问,你对     

Humour

因为我是守门员桑迪找到一份工作,担任一所小学的辅导员,她很想帮助学生们。一天课间休息时,她注意到有个女孩儿独自站在操场一头,而其他孩子则在另一边踢足球。桑迪走近小女孩问她是否一切都好。女孩说一切都好。但是过了一会,桑迪发现女孩还在那儿,仍然是孤单一个人。她走近女孩说:我能做你的朋友吗?女孩不解地看着眼前这个女人,迟疑地说:好的。桑迪觉得自己取得了一些进展,接着问:你为什么一个人站在这儿?因为,我是守门员!小女孩非常气愤地说。     

Humour

I Have the Right to Remain Silent我有权利保持沉默On the first day of an American class,the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights.The next day,he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights.When the student made no response,the professor said,All right,name five.Still the student said nothing.Finally,the irritated professor begged,Just name one right you have as a civilian.     

Humour

多次结婚者我参加了一场在大礼堂里举办的烹饪表演。节目的一个环节是,主持人把礼品送给诸如旅行最远的观众、结婚时间最长的夫妻等等。主持人举起一份礼品,问道:这里有没有人婚姻维持了不到一个月的?起初,礼堂里鸦雀无声,接着后排有人喊道:哪次?     

母亲节的由来

同学们，一位哲人曾说：世上最有价值的知识是关于方法的知识，可见方法是多么重要。即将面临中考的你们，如何在有限的复习时间内，争取更好的成绩呢?下面我就英语科的复习向同学们提些建议，希望能给你们有所帮助。     

British Humour

本专栏由英国大使馆文化处提供稿件,旨在让读者从中学习地道英文。体悟英文百味。本期介绍了别具风格的英式幽默。以“憨豆先生”为代表的英式幽默,有点冷峻,有点深沉,笑点还真是难以捉摸……     

English Humour

小鸡是怎样事先钻进蛋壳里的一天,老师带学生到养鸡场参观,当他们走近孵化器时,刚好一只小鸡破壳而出。"看见一个小生命从蛋壳里出来,岂不是很奇妙吗?"老师说。"是的,老师。"一个男学生说,"可是,如果我们知道它是怎样事先钻进蛋壳里的那就更奇妙了。"     

A Humour

一How can you make a tall man short? ——Borrow ten dollars from hin.