幽默集锦(英文)

TomsID（身份证）WhenTomwas１９yearsold，hewenttoabarwithanolderfriend．TheguyatthedooraskedforhisID．Hegavehimthedriverslicense，whichofcoursehadhisdateofbirthprintedonit．Theguylookedatitandsaid，“Youhavetobe２１ifyougetinhere．”“ButthatIDisafewyearsold，”Tomreplied．Theguylookedatitagainforamoment，thensaid，“OK，OK”andlethimin．AParrotsAnswerAboygoestoapetshoptobuyaparrot．Thereheseesaparrotwitharedstringtiedtoitsleftlegandagreenstringtiedtoitsrightleg．Heaskstheownerthesigni…     

幽默集锦(英文)

Broken Engagement The soldier serving overseas, far from hom e was annoyed and upsetwhen his girl friend wrote breaking off their engagem ent and asking forher photograph back.H e w ent out and collected from his friends all the unwanted pho-tographs ofw …     

英语幽默故事集锦(英文)

1.That Man Knows the Future With a saw,Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden when a man passed by.The man stopped and said,"Excuse me,but if you continue to saw that branch like that,you will fall to the ground with it."He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting     

幽默(英文)

Ike：Myroofleaks．Mike：Whydontyoufixit？Ike：Canttoday，itspouringdownrain．Mike：Whydontyoufixitwhenitstopsraining？Ike：Becauseitdoesntleakthen．幽默(英文)@连琴     

幽默(英文)

Spend All Mr Black gave his wife money every Friday evening, but she always spent it before the next Wednesday, so that for the next three days she had none. Every Tuesday evening Mr Black asked her,     

幽默(英文)

Taking a Taxi The old lady was going to take a taxi.Driver, she said, I want you to take me to the station.Yes, madam, said the driver.     

笑话集锦(英文)

(A)Woman at movies:If my hat prevents(妨碍)you from seeing the film,I'll remove it.Man:Please don't bother(麻烦).Your hat isfunnier than the film.     

改错题集锦(英文)

下列各个句子中只有一处错误，请细心查找并改正。１．Thepowdermadeintobreadbrown．２．Shepersuadednotonlysomeoftheteachersbutalsoallthestudentsinourclassgoingtoattendthelecture．３．Theprofessorwantedtoseethemonkeyandfindouthowlongitwouldtakethemonkeytofindthefood．４．Isawhimsink，butinamomenthisheadappearedoutagain．５．Frankdidntknowawordofthesespeeches，buthealsoapplauded（鼓掌）aftereachone．６．Inthelastspeech，MrBlacksaidsomethingonthemeeting．７．AfterwehaveEnglishclasses，theteacherusu…     

幽默小品(英文)

A statistician wanted to take a plane to SanFrancisco,but he was very afraid of bombs.Hegathered some figures and did some calcula-tions.He found that the probability of having     

小幽默(英文)

TOO MANY QUESTIONSThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle (轻笑) and went back to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and asked “You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you? ”The lady replied “Of course I do it is the Bible. ”     

幽默一则(英文)

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor.Shewas very afraid of m ice,so she ran out of the house,got in a taxi andwentdown to the shop.There she boughta m ouse-trap.The shopkeepersaid to her,“Putsom e cheese in it,and you w illsoon cat…     

幽默笑话(英文)

When Mr Jones went to restaurant one day,he left his coat near the door.There was nothing in the pockets of the coat when he left it, so he was very surprised when he     

小幽默(英文)

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink[水槽]. She suddenly noticed that her mother had sev eral strands[绺] of white hair sticking out in con- trast[形成对比] to her dark brown hair. She looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."     

小幽默(英文)

Imagination Several weeks after a young man had been hired,he was called into the personnel[人事部]director's office. What is the meaning of this? the director asked, when you applied for this job,you told us you had five years of     

幽默互动(英文)

ice cream:凡荣登“翻译优胜榜”者,均可获得一份好礼!所以请参与者务必写清真实姓名、详细地址和邮政编码。Not So Easy The four-year-old was absolutely fascinated with his grandfather's false teeth．After staring trans- fixed whlie they were re-     

幽默二则(英文)

Main Entrance A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read"BEST- DEALS".     

校园幽默(英文)

ALovelyDream（甜美的梦）Peter：Ihadalovelydreamlastnight．IdreamedIhadonemillion（百万）dollars．John：Whatdidyoudowithit？Peter：IputitinthebankbeforeIwakeup（醒来）．GiveMeYourPenMary：Tom，givemeyourpen，please．Tom：Whydon＇tyouwritewithyourownpen？Mary：Becauseitalwaysmakessomanymistakes．IlookatHimAlltheClassMike：Dickdoesn＇tlistentoyouandalwaysmakesfaces，MissGreen．Green：Yes，buthowdoyouknow？Mike：Ilookathimalltheclass．３And２Makes３芽Teacher：Tom，suppose（假如）youh…     

幽默故事(英文)

At age of 83, Granddad went to the hospital for the first time. "What’s this? " he asked as he held up the bell cord (绳) that had been fastened (拴)to his pillow (枕头) .     

智慧幽默(英文)

One thing kids like is to be tricked.For instance,I was going to take my little nephew to Disney-land,but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.“Oh,no,”I said.“Disneylandbumed down.”He cried and cried,but I thinkthat deep down,he thought it was a pretty good