幽默集锦(英文)

TomsID（身份证）WhenTomwas１９yearsold，hewenttoabarwithanolderfriend．TheguyatthedooraskedforhisID．Hegavehimthedriverslicense，whichofcoursehadhisdateofbirthprintedonit．Theguylookedatitandsaid，“Youhavetobe２１ifyougetinhere．”“ButthatIDisafewyearsold，”Tomreplied．Theguylookedatitagainforamoment，thensaid，“OK，OK”andlethimin．AParrotsAnswerAboygoestoapetshoptobuyaparrot．Thereheseesaparrotwitharedstringtiedtoitsleftlegandagreenstringtiedtoitsrightleg．Heaskstheownerthesigni…     

幽默集锦(英文)

Broken Engagement The soldier serving overseas, far from hom e was annoyed and upsetwhen his girl friend wrote breaking off their engagem ent and asking forher photograph back.H e w ent out and collected from his friends all the unwanted pho-tographs ofw …     

英语幽默故事集锦(英文)

1.That Man Knows the Future With a saw,Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden when a man passed by.The man stopped and said,"Excuse me,but if you continue to saw that branch like that,you will fall to the ground with it."He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting     

幽默(英文)

Taking a Taxi The old lady was going to take a taxi."Driver," she said, "I want you to take me to the station.""Yes, madam," said the driver.     

幽默(英文)

Ike：Myroofleaks．Mike：Whydontyoufixit？Ike：Canttoday，itspouringdownrain．Mike：Whydontyoufixitwhenitstopsraining？Ike：Becauseitdoesntleakthen．幽默(英文)@连琴     

幽默(英文)

Spend All Mr Black gave his wife money every Friday evening, but she always spent it before the next Wednesday, so that for the next three days she had none. Every Tuesday evening Mr Black asked her,     

笑话集锦(英文)

(A)Woman at movies:If my hat prevents(妨碍)you from seeing the film,I'll remove it.Man:Please don't bother(麻烦).Your hat isfunnier than the film.     

改错题集锦(英文)

下列各个句子中只有一处错误，请细心查找并改正。１．Thepowdermadeintobreadbrown．２．Shepersuadednotonlysomeoftheteachersbutalsoallthestudentsinourclassgoingtoattendthelecture．３．Theprofessorwantedtoseethemonkeyandfindouthowlongitwouldtakethemonkeytofindthefood．４．Isawhimsink，butinamomenthisheadappearedoutagain．５．Frankdidntknowawordofthesespeeches，buthealsoapplauded（鼓掌）aftereachone．６．Inthelastspeech，MrBlacksaidsomethingonthemeeting．７．AfterwehaveEnglishclasses，theteacherusu…     

幽默小故事(英文)

MrGibsonwenttoaflightschool.Heinsistedonlearningtoflythatday.Asallplaneswerecurrently(近日)inuse,theowneragreedtoin鄄structhimonhowtopilotahelicopteralonebyradio.HeshowedMrGibsonhowtostartitandtaughthimthebasics(基本原则),thensenthimonhisway.AfterMrGibsonclimbed1,000feet,heradioedin(发无线电报).“I蒺mdoinggreat!Iloveit!Theviewissobeautiful,andI蒺mstartingtogetthehangof(掌握……的窍门)this.”Atanaltitudeof2,000feet,heradioedinagain,sayinghoweasyitwasbecomingtofly.Thehelicopterclimbedover3,…     

幽默精选(英文)

InaRestaurant1)Customer:Waiter,theresadeadbeetleinmysoup.Waiter:Yes,Sir,theyarenotverygoodswimmers.2)Customer:Waiter,theresaflyinmysoup.Waiter:Thatsallright,Sir,hewontdrinkmuch.3)Customer:Waiter,theresaflyswimminginmysoup.Waiter:Sowhatdoyouexpectmetodo,callalifeguard?4)Customer:Waiter,whatsthemeaningofthisflyinmyteacup?Waiter:Iwouldndknow,Sir,Imawaiter,notafortuneteller.InSamsHouse1)Dad:Yourteachersaysshefindsitsimpossibletoteachyouany-thing!Sam:ThatswhyIsayshesnogood!2)Dad:Sam,howc…     

幽默二则(英文)

Boss’s Idea When my printer’s type began to go faint,I called a repair shop.Afriendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings,he told me,itwould be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job my-     

幽默二则(英文)

★Teacher：Whocantellmethedifferencebetweenlighteningandelectricity？Student：Ican．Youdon＇thavetopayforlightening．★GenerationYap代沟My１５－year－old，Damian，listenedintentlytomeexplainthevaluesIlearnedasateen－ager，“Modestyistheguardianofchastity，”Isaid．Ifyoudress，speakandconductyourselfinamodestmanner，youwillbechaste．”“Youmeanbygirls？”herepliedwithenthusiasm．注：chasteadj．贞洁的，（思想，言论，尤其是性的节操）有道德，这里与chased（追赶）同音。幽默二则(英文)@周钦海…     

幽默二则(英文)

Extract Wisdom Teeth One day a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract a tooth.     

幽默笑话(英文)

There was a big garden near Nasreddin's house,and it had a lot of fruit trees in it.Oneday Nasreddin saw some beautiful apples on one of them.He went home and got a lad-der,put it against the high wall of the garden and climbed up.Then he pulled the ladder up,put itdown on the other side,     

幽默小品(英文)

A statistician wanted to take a plane to SanFrancisco,but he was very afraid of bombs.Hegathered some figures and did some calcula-tions.He found that the probability of having     

幽默一则(英文)

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor.Shewas very afraid of m ice,so she ran out of the house,got in a taxi andwentdown to the shop.There she boughta m ouse-trap.The shopkeepersaid to her,“Putsom e cheese in it,and you w illsoon cat…     

小幽默(英文)

TOO MANY QUESTIONSThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle (轻笑) and went back to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and asked “You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you? ”The lady replied “Of course I do it is the Bible. ”     

幽默笑话(英文)

When Mr Jones went to restaurant one day,he left his coat near the door.There was nothing in the pockets of the coat when he left it, so he was very surprised when he     

小幽默(英文)

Imagination Several weeks after a young man had been hired,he was called into the personnel[人事部]director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked, "when you applied for this job,you told us you had five years of