英语乐园

人尽其才A little boy comes into a grocery with a memorandum in his hand.一个小男孩走进了一家杂货店,手里拿着一张清单。"Hello,Mr.Smith,"He says."I want thirteen pounds ofcoffee at32cents.""史密斯先生,你好,"他说道,"三角二分钱一磅的咖啡,请给我十三磅。"     

STORIES

Tom walked into a shop. It had a sign (招牌) outside: "Second hand clothes bought and sold." He was carrying an old pair of trousers and asked the owner of the shop, "How much will you give me for these?" The man looked at them and then said, "Two dollars." "What!" said Tom. "I had guessed they were worth at least five." " No," said the man, " they aren’t worth a cent more than two dollars."     

超级聪明豆(四)(英文)

Fast Food Question: Sally, George, and Frank were picking up their fast,food orders-a burger, a plate of fries, and a slice of pizza."Who ordered what?"asked the man at the counter. George said,"I didn't order the pizza."The boy who ordered the fries said, "Oh, I thought you did."That was all the man at the counter needed to know. Who got each order?     

I Save 20 Cents Less

Bill is a doorman. He works in a factory, and he usually comes home at seven every evening. Last Friday he came back home very early, and he was very angry. He shut the door very hard, went into the living room and sat down. His wife went to him and looked at him for a few seconds. Then she asked him, "Why are you so angry, Bill?" "Because tickets cost 70 cents last week, but now they costs only 60 cents, " he said. "But that isn't bad, Bill," his wife said. "It's good. Going by bus is muc…     

伟大的人永远不老

"| 1)dread coming to the end of the year," a friend said to me recently,"It makes me realize I am growing old." William James注1,the great 2)psychologist,said that most men are "old 3)fogies at 25." He was right.Most men at 25 are satisfied with their jobs.They have closed their minds to all new ideas—they have stopped growing.     

幽默四则

I.Three Deaf MenThree rather deaf old friends met one day in the street."Windy, isn't it?"said one."No, it's Thursday,"said the second."So am I,"said the third. "Let's go and have a cup of tea."     

Old Jackel,New Jackel

"This blue jacket will fit*you,Iris,"said Mum.Iris looked at the jacket.It was her sister Dana’s old jacket."I don’t want that old thing,"said Iris."I want a new jacket.""But this is a good jacket,"said Mum."It will look good on you,Iris.*"Iris felt sad.She wanted a jacket just for her.Iris looked at the jacket.She wanted to make it special*.     

五粒豌豆的故事

The shell burst,and the five peas rolled out into the bright sunshine.There they lay in a child's hand.The little boy said they were fine peas for his pea-shooter.And immediately he put one in and shot it out."Now I am flying out into the wide world," said the pea, "Catch me if you can," and he was gone in a moment."I," said the second, "want to fly straight to the sun." And went away."We will go to sleep wherever we find ourselves," said the two next, "We shall still be rolling onwards," They felt on the floor,and roll about before they go into the pea-shooter;but they were put in it. "We shall go farther than the others," said they."What is to happen will happen," said the last,as he was shot out of the pea-shooter;and as he spoke he flew up against an old board under a window of an old house,and fell into a little crevice.The moss closed round him,and there he lay.     

人物

A Sigmund Freud was a world-famous doctor of Vienna.He was also aman full of humour (幽默).Once,at his 70th birthday party,a friend asked Freud if he could put his work into several words."Well," said Freud,"We take the sick out of their thouble and return them to the common suffering."     

Texi Driver

Two rich ladies were sharing a taxi and talking about the high cost of going anywhere by taxi. One of the ladies said, "Taxis are terribly expensive these days. The owners get a lot of money for nothing." "Yes," said the other lady, "and the drivers g…     

幽默故事

A Carol Roberts left school when she was seventeen and then thought,"What' going to happen now? I want to marry a nice young man and have some children,but no nice young men have asked me yet.Will I meet one soon,and will he want to marry me?" She spoke to her best friend about these questions,and the friend said,“Go and ask a fortune-teller (算命先生).Perhaps he'll give you the answer." So Carol went to see a fortune-teller.The man said to her,"I'll give you the answers to two questions.It'll cost you five pounds."     

幽默四则

In the class, the teacher asked a student, "Do you know what words are used most in the world?" The student thought quite a long time, and at last, he said," I don't know." The teacher was glad and said, " Very good, you're right. These three words (I, don't, know) are used most in the world."Have They Different Mothers?With the help of her friend, a young mother took her very young twins who were exactly alike to the doctor. Since the waiting area was full, the two     

Who Is a Fool?

演讲者对不时被打断感到厌烦。“今天晚上我们这儿似乎有很多的傻瓜,”他说道。“一次只听一个人讲,好不好?”“行,”一个声音说道,“那你就接着讲吧。”The speaker was getting tired of being interrupted. "We seem to have a great many fools here tonight," he said. "Wouldn't it be advisable to hear one at a time﹖" "Yes," said a voice. "Get on with your speech."Who Is a Fool?!山东@石庆…     

高二下学期阅读一刻钟考验(英文)

请用一刻钟的时间完成下面四篇阅读理解。A A young lady who was on holiday in Brighton went into a bank to collect some money which had been sent there for her from the town in which she lived. The clerk in the Brighton bank did not know her, so he said, "What proof have you got that you are really the lady who should collect this money?" The young lady looked worried for a few moments and said , " I don't think I've brought any proof with me." But then she suddenly looked happy again, she opened her bag, took a photograph of herself out of it and showed it to the clerk. "Here's something." she said. The clerk looked at the photograph carefully and then looked at the young lady. "Yes, that's you," he said, and paid the money to her without any more trouble. 1. The young lady came to Brighton to____. A. work in a bank B. collect money     

STORIES ABOUT ANIMALS

A mouse and a lionOne day a mouse went out to find something to eat.He ran carelessly through some tall grass.He ran into a big lion.The lion caught him,held him tightly(紧紧地)and would not let him go."Please let me go,Mr Lion,"said the mouse."One day I will help you." The lion laughed and thought,how a little mouse could help a big lion!Then he said,"Very well,I will let you go.But you must walk more carefully." "Thank you,"the mouse said."You are very kind." The next week the mouse was again looking for something to eat.He saw the lion had fallen into a net of strong ropes.He could not move.The mouse cut one of the ropes with his teeth and then the other.Soon the     

尴尬的(英文)

A woman was singing.One of the gueststurned to a man by his side and criticized(批评)the singer."What a terrible voice!"he said."Do youknow who she is ?""Yes."was the answer,"she is my wife.""Oh,I beg your pardon,"the man said."Of course her voice isn't bad.but the songis very bad.I wondered(想知道)who wrotethat awful(糟糕的)song?""I did,"was the answer.     

Five Little Evergreens

Five Little Evergreens outside in a row.The first one said,"Let's look at the snow."The second one said,"Oh-oh,it's getting cold."The third one said,"Chiristmas is coming so I'm told."The4fourth one said,"I hope someone decorates me."The fifth one said,"We'll just have to wait and see."Five Little Evergreens…     

Jokes and Humour

Good IntentionsOne day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, Pa wants to know if you like roast pig."I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I     

幽默两则

I .Good News and Bad NewsA football fan asked God, "Is there a football field in Heaven?"God thought it over for a moment and said, "I'll tell you tomorrow."The next day God said to the football fan, "Half of the news is good while another half is bad."Football fan:Please tell me the good news at first.God:There is a first-class football field in Heaven.Football fan: What about the bad news?God:There will be a football match tomorrow morning. You are on court at first.     

笑话一则(英文)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:"If you kiss me,I'll turninto a beautiful princess."He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said:"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,I willtell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."The man took the frog out of hispocket,smiled at it,and returned it to his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said,"If you kiss me and turn me back i…