Buying a Hat

Mrs Kent was in a shop. She wanted to buy herself a hat. A fter athorough exam ination and com parison, she finally picked up one hat. Itseem ed very nice.The shop assistant hoped that she w ould buy it withouthesitation.So he said to M rs K ent,“I am sure that you ll look ten yearsyounger when you put on the hat.”“O h?In that case,Id better give itup.” said the lady. “I hate to look ten years older when I take off thehat.”Buying a Hat!湖北@罗成勇…     

A Joke

W orking at the post office,Im used to dealing with a m oody public.So w hen one irate custom er storm ed m y desk,I responded in m y calm estvoice,“W hats the trouble?”“I w ent out this m orning,”she began,“and when I cam e hom e Ifound a card saying the m ailm an tried to deliver a package but no onewas hom e.M y husband was in allm orning.H e never heard a thing!”A fter apologizing,I gother parcel.“O h,good,”she gushed.“W e ve been w aiting for this for ages.”“W hat is it?”…     

幽默故事

A man was walking in thepark with his dog,when he meta friend with her dog.The twobegan talking,and the dogs ranoff together. After a fewminutes,they became worried.“I wonder where Hannibalis,”he said.“I wonder where Cleopatrois,”she said.They went to look for theirdogs,but they couldn't findthem.Three days later,the mantelephoned his friend.“Did yourdog come home?”“Yes,”she replied.“How did you find it?”“I put an advertisement inthe newspaper,and I got it backthe nextday.Why do…     

猴子与鳄鱼

They swam slowly.Suddenly,the mother crocodile saw the monkey,“Oh,a monkey! How nice if l have it for my dinner!” Then she said to her son,“My son,do you love me? Yes,of course,” the baby crocodile answered.“Well,can you see that monkey? I want to eat his heart.Can you go and get it for me?” the mother crocodile asked.“All right.”     

五粒豌豆的故事

Spring came,and one morning early the sun shone brightly through the little window,and threw itsrays over the floor of the room.Just as the mother was going to her work,the sick girl looked at thewindow-“Mother,”she cried,“what is the little green thing in the wind?”The mother went to thewindow and opened it.“Oh!”she said.“There is a little pea which has taken root and is putting out itsgreen leaves.How could it get into this crack?Well now,here is a little garden for you.”So she moved thebed of the sick girl nearer to the window,that she might see the budding plant.Then the mother went outto her work.     

教你正确用(七)

What Ticket? Which Court? J got a ticket the other day.Some of you may ask: ticket for what?Well,it was not a ticket for the ballet,or an opera,or a basketball game.It was a traffic ticket.I was driving too fast.A police officer pulled me over and gave me a traffic ticket.I was,the ticketing officer said, going 50 mph (miles per hour) in a 30 mph zone.A ticket meant big trouble.When I was handed the ticket,I wished it were a ticket to the movies.     

Absent-mindedness

A few days ago my wife sent me out to buy something. When I came home, I handed her a paper bag and said, “Here are the apples you wanted. ”She looked in the bag, then she looked ati me.“I told you, “she said slowly, “to buy some eggs. ”     

动物爆笑集锦

1 Jacob:How do you put an elephant in a fridge[冰箱]? Jimmy:I don't know,how? Jacob:You open the door and put it in! Well,how do you put a baboon[狒狒] in the fridge? Jimmy:Oh,I know! You open the door and put it in,right? Jacob:No,you open the door,take the elephant out,and then you put the baboon in.Well,all the animals except one go to a lion's birthday party,which one is it?     

My Classroom

I see a chair and a desk Look at the whiteboard.What do you see? story:All of the students greet Miss Grant as she stands beside the whiteboard.She then tells the students to look at the whiteboard.“What do you see?”asksMiss Grant.Everyone looks up and answers,“I see a chair and a desk.”     

“单项选择”专项训练(英文)

1.—H ave you ever visited the m useum?—Y es,Ive visited it tim es.A.few B.several C.m uch D.any2.—M ay I speak to M iss G ao?—Im sorry,she isn t here.A.a m om ent ago B.just a m om entC.at that m om ent D.atthe m om ent3.There a big tree in front of the house.A.used to have B.used to beC.is used to have D.is used to being4.Please the new pictures and take dow n the old ones,becauseN ew Y ear is com ing.A.putup B.put dow n C.putoff D.putaway5.—Li Lei likes doing eye exercise ever…     

测一测：你是职场恶霸吗？

1. There＇ s a new employee just arrived in the office. What do you say to him？ a） Here, I＇ll show you around and introduce you to everyone. b） I＇ m the boss here and don＇t forget it, Now go and make some teat2. A junior colleague comes to you for help understanding a document. What do you say？     

God’s Gift

God gives us gifts when we have trouble,but whether you can accept the gift largely depends on you.When knowing my score in the key exam on Senior Grade 3,I really felt hopeless.A bad beginning meant a bad end to me.I had no courage to tell it to my mother.At weekends I got home under the impression that she would blame me,but a sumptuous dinner special for me proved that I was wrong.Maybe she wanted to reduce my heavy pressure.But much to my surprise,she took her cup and congratulated me …     

高二下学期阅读一刻钟考验(英文)

请用一刻钟的时间完成下面四篇阅读理解。A A young lady who was on holiday in Brighton went into a bank to collect some money which had been sent there for her from the town in which she lived. The clerk in the Brighton bank did not know her, so he said, "What proof have you got that you are really the lady who should collect this money?" The young lady looked worried for a few moments and said , " I don't think I've brought any proof with me." But then she suddenly looked happy again, she opened her bag, took a photograph of herself out of it and showed it to the clerk. "Here's something." she said. The clerk looked at the photograph carefully and then looked at the young lady. "Yes, that's you," he said, and paid the money to her without any more trouble. 1. The young lady came to Brighton to____. A. work in a bank B. collect money     

One Way To Make Friends

"What's the matter, Bob?" asked his mother. "Why do you look so sad?" "I don't have anyone to play with," Bob said. "I wish we had stayed in Salt Lake City. I had friends there."“You will soon make friends here, ” said his mother. “Wait and see!” Just then there was a tap on the door. Mrs Miller opened it. There stood a woman with red hair. “Hello, ”she said.“I9m Mrs Carey. I live next door.” “Come in, ”said Mrs Miller.“Bob and I are so glad to see you.” “I came to ask fo…     

一个女孩的秘密(英文)

This secret has been kept in my heart for three years. I am a good girl all the time, but ... In a Chinese exam three years ago, one of my classmates next to me wanted to borrow my colour pen. I didn’t lend it to her, instead I said“:You have much money to buy something to eat, why don’t you buy a colour pen.”Hearing my words, she didn’t say any more. After the exam, I knew that she had left her colour pen at home. She didn’t do well in that exam. So she was very sad and even cried for a long time. Even tho...     

完形填空精练

A gift left to herEarly in the morning,I was taken in a ny-lon bag into a truck.I felt horrible as well as1.What would she do with me?She wasalmost mad after the2of her husband.A few minutes later,I heard the truck3its engine and move fast.I kept makingsounds to show my protest,but failed to makeany4.Finally she put me down in a5place.Maybe she didn’t want me to die fromlack of air;she untied the bag.I6out and looked up,only to seemany strange faces and fingers pointing at me.It turned ou…     

鱼为什么会笑?(印度传说)

As a fisherwoman passedby the palace hawking herfish,the queen appeared atone of the windows andbeckoned her to come nearand show her what she had.At that moment a very big fishiumped about in the bottom ofthe basket. “Is it a male or a female?”asked the queen. “I’d like tobuy a female fish.”On hear—     

巧克力迷的天堂--宾夕法尼亚

I pun up to the dowdy brick factory in ablink-and-youll-miss-it Pennsylvania town.Itdoesn't look promising.But I open the door.and the sweet dark smell of chocolate draws mynose first into the Wilbur Chocolate Co.factorystore in Lititz.Although the town seems ahnostdeserted.the tiny store is packed with shoppersloading baskets with“Buds”.drops of silky choco-late.I slip into the endearingly amateurish muse-um in the next room,where a dress shop dummyleans against old chocolate-making equip-merit.Then I see it.Behind cocoa tins.there's awindow onto a working kitchen.A white-haired ladypipes blue icing on chocolate ballet dancers.Ringthe bell,a sign says,and shell hand-dip a chocolatejust for you.I ring,and float into chocolate nirvana.     

小幽默(英文)

TOO MANY QUESTIONSThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle (轻笑) and went back to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and asked “You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you? ”The lady replied “Of course I do it is the Bible. ”