阅读理解五则

A mother and her young son get into a bus in a small city and sit down. The bus conductor comes to them for their money. The mother says, ＂I want one ticket（票） to the zoo,＂ and gives him one yuan. The conductor looks at the small boy for a few seconds and then says to him, ＂How old are you, young man？＂ The mother begins to speak, but the conductor stops her. The boy says： ＂I＇m four at home, and two in the buses.＂ At last the mother has to take fifty fen out of her pocket and gives it to the conductor.     

开心一刻

Nearsightedness近视A patient goes to the doctor and says, "I can't see things clearly that are far away." "Follow me," says the doctor and takes the patient outside. He points at the sun and asks, "What's that?" "The sun," the patient answers. The doctor says angrily, "How far do you want to see then?"(本则幽默由浙江读者黄丹提供)     

Where is rice from?

A rich man in the Qi Kingdom had two silly sons, but the rich man loved his sons very much and they were the apples of his eye. One day, a man named Ai Zi said to the rich man, "Your sons are so stupid and know nothing about the world. How can they take y…     

English Joke

A A man walks into a shopand sees a lovely little dog.He asks the shopkeeper,"Does your dog bite?"The shopkeeper says,"No,my dog does notbite."The man tries to pet the dog and the dogbites him."Ouch!"He says,"I thought you said yourdog does not bite!"The shopkeeper replies,"That is not mydog!"     

阅读的半糖主义——若有若无的甜才不会觉得腻(英文)

1 How much living space does a person need? What happens when his space requirements are not adequatel ymet? Sociologists and psychologists are conducting experiments on rats to try to determine the effects of overcrowded conditions on man.     

20只猫与一个猫碗(英文)

A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked veryold. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat , was lying besidethe bowl. The man did not want the farmer to know that he was interested in bowl. So he said to him softly, “What anice cat you have? Will you sell it to me?”“How much will you give me for the cat?”the farmer opened his eyes and asked.“Twenty dollars. Would t…     

A Country on Wheels

Cars are an important part of life in the United States. Most people feel that they are poor without cars. Though he is poor, he doesn't feel really poor when he has a car. Henry Ford was the man who first started making cars. Maybe, he didn't know how much the car was going to affect(影响) the United States. The cars made the United States a country on wheels(轮子). And they have helped to make the United States rich and modern.     

Fred

Fred hurries home from school. He's hungry. And he has a lot ofhomework. He wants to visit Tom and play football, too. He doesn'thave much time. "Hello, Fred," says Mrs. Martin. "How was school today ?" "Fine. But I have a lot of homework." Fred goes to the kitchen. Mrs. Martin is sitting at the table. She'sdrinking a cup of coffee. "I'm hungry," says Fred. "Well, there isn't much milk. But there's some fruit."     

He is not my father!

A well-dressed(穿戴好看的) man gets into a restaurant one day.He sits down at at able near the window.A waiter comes up to him and says,Can I help you?The man says,Can I see the menu?Certainly.The man wants a good meal and he     

Another way

A man sits in a restaurant.He wraps the napkinaround his neck.So the manager calls over a waitress. "Tell the man that's impossible in our restaurant,"says the manager."But try to be tactful."The waitress goes to the man's table and asks."Shave