快乐衫

Once upon a time and in a country a long way off, there was a king who was very ill. A famous doctor from another country said there was only one thing that could cure him."What is that?" said the king. "Whatever you want shall be brought for you."You must sleep for one night," said the     

许个愿

I’ll never forget the day Momma made me go to a birthday party. I was in Mrs. Black's third grade class in Wichita Falls', Texas, and I brought home a slightly peanut-buttery invitation."I am not going, "I said, "She's a new girl named Ruth, and Berniece and Pat aren' t going. She asked the whole class, all 36 of us. "     

幽默互动

Do Me a Favor The me- chanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs,so I settled down in the waiting room with a book I'd brought along. The mechanic was in and out     

Five Hundred Times

In the traffic court of a large city,a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposalof her case in order that she might hasten on to herclasses."You are a school teacher, eh?" said the judge, "Madam , I shallrealize my lifelong ambition.Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."Five Hundred Times@小非 @柴…     

Drunk

One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What’s the meaning of the word‘Drunk’,dad?""Well,my son,"his father replied,"Look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."     

幽默与笑话(英文)

A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday.When he got back to the States,he called her."Hi,Mom,"he said."How’d you like the bird I gave you?""It was delicious." "You ate the bird!"the guy shrieked."He was very expensive.He could talk!"     

Fun Time

Drunk In the afternoon,a father and his little son are going home.At this age,the boy is very interested in all kinds of things and is always asking questions.Now,he asks,"What's the meaning of the word ‘drunk’,dad? Well,my son,"his father replies (回答),"look,there stand two policemen.If I regar (把 ……看作) the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But,dad," the boy says,"there's only one policeman!"     

A TASTY MEAL

A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the Stateshe called her."Hi Mom".he said."How'd you like the bird I gave you﹖" "It was elicious." "You ate the bird"the guy shrieked "He was very expensive. He could talk." "well,if he was so smart". replied the mother"Why didn't he say something﹖"A TASTY MEAL…     

"Easy" Math in the United States

When I was in China,I was pretty convinced that math taught in the United States is super easy.Those stupid SAT math questions remain my favorite jokes.For example,in a book called SAT Math Hard Questions in the Past Six Years,I encountered questions like "compare which one is bigger: 1/3+1/4 or 2/7." According to the book,a great percentage of American students choose equal.Moreover,when I was preparing for the SAT exam,I did math questions in the book to relax myself,which was highly efficient in     

教你正确用(十) 一字的多种用法(英文)

A few days ago Ⅰ saw a sign on the Fourth Beltway (四环路) in Beijing,which says: "No Drunken Driving."Two thoughts hit upon me when I saw the sign. The first thought:Isn't it a bit too late when a drunken driver sees this sign?The second thought: How drunk is too drunk to drive a car?     

高二下学期阅读一刻钟考验(英文)

请用一刻钟的时间完成下面四篇阅读理解。A A young lady who was on holiday in Brighton went into a bank to collect some money which had been sent there for her from the town in which she lived. The clerk in the Brighton bank did not know her, so he said, "What proof have you got that you are really the lady who should collect this money?" The young lady looked worried for a few moments and said , " I don't think I've brought any proof with me." But then she suddenly looked happy again, she opened her bag, took a photograph of herself out of it and showed it to the clerk. "Here's something." she said. The clerk looked at the photograph carefully and then looked at the young lady. "Yes, that's you," he said, and paid the money to her without any more trouble. 1. The young lady came to Brighton to____. A. work in a bank B. collect money     

苏西的圣诞礼物

"Tell us a story,1)Nanny,please do,"begged two little girls."Did you ever have just what you wished for at Christmas?" "Yes,I did once.I was the oldest,and had two brothers and three little sisters.We lived in a little 2)cottage.My father was dead,and mother worked for the rich people around the village.     

2005年高考全国卷Ⅱ英语完形填空题解析

One afternoon I was sitting at my favorite table ina restaurant,waiting for the food I had ordered to ar-rive.Suddenly I 36 that am an sitting at a tablenear the window kept glancing in my direction,37 he knew me.The man had a newspaper 38 in front of him,which he was 39 to read,but Icould 40 that he was keeping an eye on me.When the waiter brought my 41 the man wasclearly puzzled(困惑)by the 42 way in whichthe waiter and I 43 each other.He seemed even more puzzled as 44 went on and it became 45 that all the ...     

完形填空实战练习

A Directions:For each blank in the following passage there are four words or phrases marked A,B,C,and D.Fill in each blank with the word or phrase that best fits the context. I spent two months with an American family last year when I studied in America. It is said,"The best house is in America,the best wife is in Japan, and the best food is in China." So I was proud to(?)the best food" for my American family.Each day,though my cooking skill was poor,I would     

FUNNY STORIES

A Snake in Class One of my third-grade students brought in a snake for show.I amafraid of snakes,but since the boy was responsible(负责的),I decidedto let him go ahead.Another teacher had come in to help that day and,not being fearful of snakes,picked the snake up with the stem(柄)ofher glasses so everyone could see it.     

Missing the Plane

Early one morning a man called for a taxi to take him to the airport, which was a couple of miles down the highway. He patiently waited for about thirty minutes, and called the taxi company again to say that cab had not arrived. This dispatcher assured the gentleman that it was on the way. However, several minutes later, he was still waiting. He had to call a third time, saying, "I need that taxi in a hurry. I have got to make that flight to the West Coast that is due to leave in thirty minutes."     

FUNNY STORIES

A Snake in Class One of my third-grade students brought in a snake for show. I am afraid of snakes, but since the boy was responsible (负责的), I decided to let him go ahead. Another teacher had come in to help that day and,not being fearful of snakes, picked the snake up with the stem (柄) of her glasses so everyone could see it.     

幽默与笑话

A Tasty Meal A tourist in Africa sent his mother an exotic bird for her birthday. When he got back to the States, he called her. "Hi Mom," he said. "How'd you like the bird I gave you?" "It was delicious."     

轻松一刻

My father, a doctor for nearly 30 years, was working on the seat belt in his car. Using a tube of super-adhensive, he was trying to glue part of the buckle back on. Suddenly, he shouted for my mother: "Lorraine! My fingers are stuck to the seat belt! Go find the package and see what it says I should do."     

一双袜子

One fine afternoon I was walking along Fifth Avenue,when I remembered that it was necessary to buy a pair of socks.I turned into the first sock shop that caught my eye,and a boy clerk who could not have been more than seventeen years old came forward."What can I do for you,sir?""I wish to buy a pair of socks."His eyes glowed.There was a note of passion in his voice."Did you know that you had come into the finest place in the world to buy socks?"I had not been aware of that,as my entrance had been accidental.……