笑话集锦(英文)

(A)Woman at movies:If my hat prevents(妨碍)you from seeing the film,I'll remove it.Man:Please don't bother(麻烦).Your hat isfunnier than the film.     

笑话(英文)

Very few people were com ing to eatatthe White Rose Restaurant,and itsow nerdid notknow whatto do.Thefood in hisrestaurantw ascheap and good butnobody seemed to wantto eatthere.Then he did som ething thatchanged allthat,and in a few weeks his restau-rantw asalw aysfullofmen with theirlady friends.Wheneveragentlem an cam einw ith a lady,a smiling waiter gave each of them a beautifulm enu.The     

笑话(英文)

Family QuarrelThe young newly-weds(新婚夫妇)quarreled.At last she could bear (忍)it no longer and burst into tears(哭起来)."I don't want to have anything to do with you any more.I'm packimg up(收拾)my things and going off to mother.""Fine,my dear,"said the husband."Here are the travelling expenses(路费)"She counted the money and asked: "What about the money for the return ticket?"     

笑话(英文)

-Are You Stupid? - One day a college professor [教授] of psychology[心理学] asked his new college[学院] class. "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron[白痴]?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."     

笑话(英文)

An old lady who lived in a village went into town one Saturday, and after she had bought fruit and vegetables in the market for herself and for a friend who was ill, she went into a shop which sold glasses. She tried one pair of glasses, and then another pair and another, but none of them seemed to be right. The shopkeeper was a very patient man, and after some time he said to the old lady, "Now, don't worry, madam.     

笑话(英文)

I Am Younger Than You Father:I can't stand that,do you know whyⅠ'Ⅱpunish you sternly? Son:I don't know. Father:Because you beat the younger child.Ⅰ'Ⅱnever let it happen again. Son:But I'm younger than you,you can't beat me any way!     

笑话(英文)

Poisonous snakes 毒蛇 There are two snakes.The father snake and his son are out on a nice afternoon.When they are enjoying the beautiful flowers,the son asks,"Dad,are we poisonous snakes?"the father says proudly,"Yes,we are     

笑话(英文)

Two birds Teacher: Here are two birds. One is a swallow(燕子) , and the other is a sparrow(麻雀) .Now who can tell which is which?     

笑话一则(英文)

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:"If you kiss me,I'll turninto a beautiful princess."He bent over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said:"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,I willtell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."The man took the frog out of hispocket,smiled at it,and returned it to his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said,"If you kiss me and turn me back i…     

幽默笑话(英文)

Nasreddin put two big baskets of grapes on his donkey and went to market.At midday it was very hot,so he stopped in the shade of abig tree.     

英语笑话(英文)

English JokesNest and Hair My sister,a primary school teacher,was informed by oneof her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outsidethe classroom     

笑话一则(英文)

A six-year-old girl asks her mother,--“Mommy,how old are you?”The motherreplies,--“Honey,that’s a very personal question.You are not supposed to ask a womanher age.”Then she asks,--“How much do you weigh?”The mother says,--“Honey,that isalso a per     

笑话数则(英文)

I'll Make My Own Bed Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5, if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails[钉子] and wood.     

笑话四则(英文)

A T alk about G eniusPatient:D octor,is genius a kind ofdisease?D octor:If so,you needn t w orry about it.Y ou do not have this kindofdisease definitely.A B ow land a C atA m an was looking for ancient objects.O ne day he cam e to a villageand found a bow lthatlooked very old.The bowl was lying on the groundand a cat was drinking m ilk from it.In order not to draw the attention of the farm er w ho had the bow l tothe value of the bow l,the m an said to him in a casual voice:“W hat anice …     

幽默笑话(英文)

There was a big garden near Nasreddin's house,and it had a lot of fruit trees in it.Oneday Nasreddin saw some beautiful apples on one of them.He went home and got a lad-der,put it against the high wall of the garden and climbed up.Then he pulled the ladder up,put itdown on the other side,     

英语笑话(英文)

ve Just Bitten My Tongue “Are we Poi,onous?”the young snake asked his mother. “Yes,dear,”she replied.“Why do you ask?” “Causel’ve just bitten my tongue!从〕tes: (l)poisonous adj.有毒的 (2)Causel’ve just bitten my tongue因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。句中Cause是Because的缩略形式。英语笑话(英文)…     

英语笑话(英文)

邀娜卿卿鳅蜘 A man WaS standing at a Corner,With a hatin eaeh hand,waiting for handoute.A Passer一by StoPPed and droPPed a eoin in one hat,then asked,“what’5 the other hat for?” “Business has been 50 tremendous lately,”the man rePlied.“that 1 deeided to OPenab份nCh OffiCe.”NoteS:(l)handout n.施舍(2) tremendous呼极好的英语笑话(英文)…     

英语笑话(英文)

English Jokes Looking for a Companion A bachelor asked the computer to find himthe perfect mate:“I want a companion who issmall and cute,loves water sports and enjoysgroup activities.”Back came the answer:“Marry a penguin.”     

幽默笑话(英文)

When Mr Jones went to restaurant one day,he left his coat near the door.There was nothing in the pockets of the coat when he left it, so he was very surprised when he