Humour

A strict RuleTom's mother made it a rule that if he came to the dinner table late he was not allowed to speak a single word during the meal. Yesterday he didn't arrive until everybody had sat down,. As soon as he entered the room he began with. "I say, mother…"but his mother quickly reminded him of the rule.     

完形乐园趣多多

Once,a gentleman was traveling in a train.He felt (1) and got down at a station in search of water.As soon as he reached the water tap[水龙头]the train started.He ran back,but(2) the train. He asked about the next train and knew that the next train was on the next day.So he decided to find a place to(3)the night.It was getting darker and he could not find a room.He was a little(4).     

驴子和赶驴人

A Donkey was being driven down a mountain road.and afterjogging along(慢跑)for a while sensibly enough,he suddenly left thetrack and rushed to the edge of a precipice(悬崖). He was just about to leap over the edge when his Driver caughthold of(抓住)his tail and did his best to pull him back:but Dull as hemight he conldn't get the Donkey to budge(微微移动)from the     

A Shortsighted Professor''''s Funny Mistakes

Professor Green is a world-famous scientist. And he is always busy thinking about scientific problems and seldom notices what is going on around him. So funny things often happen to him because he is not only absent-minded but shortsighted as well.One fine day recently, he went for a walk in the countryside,but as usual he had a book in his hand, and had no sooner set out for his walk than he became absorbed in reading. He hadn't gone far when he bumped into a cow and fell down. In the fall, …     

The Traveller and the Waitress

A traveller hurried down to the hall of a hotel. He had only 15 minutes to get to the train statoin before the train started. Suddenly he remembered that he had left a bag in his room upstairs.     

What goes up...

A father was at the beach with his children when the tour-year-old son Fan up to him, grabbed hishand, and led him to a place on the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happenedto him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment as he and his father stood looking at the seagull. Finally the son said,"Why did God throw him back down?"     

微笑一下

M ark was w alking hom e from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying,along with two sw eaters,a baseball bat,a glove and a sm all tape recorder. M ark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered arti- cles. Since they were going the sam e way, he helped to carry part of the burden. A s they walked, M ark discovered the boy s nam e w as B ill, that he loved video gam es, baseball and history, and that he was hav- ing…     

Beethoven

Beethoven(贝多芬）was one of the greatest composers(作曲家）in the world. He was born in 1770 and died in 1827.Even as a child Beethoven did not have a happy life. His father was a singer. But he was lazy and always drank a lot. When the boy was only four，his father decided to make him a musician. So Beethoven had to play hour after hour on different musical instruments（乐器）.He learned so fast that he was able to go around and give concerts when he was only 11. When he was 17，he won hi…     

雾都孤儿(10)(英文)

After breakfast they played a very strange game. The cheerful old man put a watch in his jacket pocket, with a guard-chain round his neck, and a notebook and a handkerchief in his trouser pocket. Then he went up and down the room holding a walking stick, just like the old gentlemen who walked in the streets. Sometimes he stopped at the fireplace, and sometimes at the door, pretending to stare with great interest into shop windows. He would then constantly look round, as if afraid of thieves, t…     

"David Copperfield": Perfect Reflection of Dickens'''' Creative Ideas

Charles Dickens（1812—1870）was the most popular and internationally known as an Engilsh novelist. Being the greatest representative of the English critical realism, he gives us a most vivid picture of the everyday life of the ordinary people of his time. He created a large number of characters , well drawn, full of life and unforgettable.He has suffered so bitterly himself as a child and had seen so much evil that he burned with the desire to fight it to the end .While presenting a truthfu…     

新的一天

Is it morning already?I rub my eyes and get up to ready myself for just another day.It's just another day….I look out my window to see the sun beaming down,caressing(爱抚)the Earth with its golden rays.Above,white clouds float in the brilliant blue sky.I hear a cardinalsinging to his mate as he perches upon my back fence.And a bed of crocus open their purpleheads to the heavens in joyful thankfulness.     

如何致谢和答谢

Ted worked in a factory in a big town. He liked fishing very much, and was very good at it.Whenever he was free. he wouht go down to the small river behind the factory, and tried to catchsome fish, but there were very few there, because the water was dirty. Last summer he went to the seaside during his holidays and stayed at a small cheap hotel.     

Funny Stories

1 Before the Trouble Starts A man went into a bar "sat down" called the barman and said to him, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." The barman was busy with other people, so he did not say anything, but he gave the man the drink, and the man drank it quickly. Then he put his glass down, called the barman again and said to him, "Give me another one before the trouble starts."     

How Do the Movies Do It?（高一适用）

Have you ever seen a movie in which a building was burned down or a bridge was destroyed? Have you seen films in which a train crashed or a ship sank into the ocean? If so, you may have wondered how these things could happen without harming the people in the film.The man who knows the answer is the special-effects man. He has one of the most important jobs in the film industry. He may be ordered to create a flood or to make a battlefield explode. And he may also be asked to create a special effect which is much less exciting, though just as important to the sue-     

幽灵男孩:逃离困住他的躯体

Lulu Miller (Host):When Martin Pistorius was a little boy growing up in South Africa,he was mostly thinking about 1)electronics. Joan Pistorius (Martin's mother):He was always going to be an electric man,as he told me,when he grew up.And the...and then... Miller:Martin's life took an unexpected turn. Rodney Pistorius (Martin's father):He had just turned 12. Miller:He 2)came down with a strange illness. Rodney:He was sleeping whenever we didn't wake him up.Eh,he was 3)permanently lying down in the 4)fetal position.     

A Goose With Only One Leg（初三适用）

Once there was a clever farmer. Though he was poor,he decided one day to take a roast goose(烧鹅) to the king as a present. He had not had much that day, and soon the smell of the roast goose became too much for him as he carried it to the king, so he ate one of its legs.     

What Were You Teaching?（高一适用）

Mr Jones moved to another town, and soon he needed a new doctor, so he went to see one. He sat down in the waiting room and looked around, seeing the doctor's degree certificate on the wall. Suddenly Mr Jones remembered: there had been a classmate of his with the same name in his class at school, and he had become a doctor!     

A CROW WITH THIRST

A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a pitcher which had once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the mouth of the pitcher he found that only very little water was left in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher.     

一杯牛奶的恩惠

Once,there was a poor boy,who made a living by selling various things from door to door.This was the way he earned money to pay for his school. One day,as he was walking from house to house as usual,he felt very hungry and weak.He decided to ask for food at a house.He knocked on the door,and was surprised to see a beautiful young girl open the door.And then,he asked the girl for a glass of water.     

Mark And The Monocycle

Mark lived in a house at the top of a very steep (陡斜的) street. Every day he ran down the street to go to school or play with his friends.