FUNNY STORIES

A One morning Wood left his house with six donkeys (驴) for the market.After a time,he got tired and got on to one of them.He counted the donkeys,and there were only five,so he got off and looked for the sixth.However,he did not find it,so he went back to the donkeys and counted them again.This time there were six,so he got on to one of them again and went on forward.     

哈哈镜

Jokes anecdotes and stories as told by native English speakers. Slow Down or Stop One day, a police officer stops a motorist who has just gone through a red light. The officer is about to give the driver a ticket when the driver says, ＂Officer, you can＇t give me a ticket for that!＂ ＂Why not？＂ asks the officer ＂Because,＂     

FUNNY STORIES

Awood liked fish very much,and when he had enough money,he bought some for his dinner in the market and took it home.But when his wife saw the fish,she always said to herself,"Now I can invite some good friends to lunch and we will eat the fish.     

FUNNY STORIES

A Once upon a time, there lived a rich man. He had a servant (仆人) .Both of them loved wine and good food very much. Each time the rich man left his home, the servant would drink the wine and eat up all the nice food in the house. The rich man knew what his servant did, but he had never caught the servant who was just doing that.     

FUNNY STORIES

A Snake in Class One of my third-grade students brought in a snake for show. I am afraid of snakes, but since the boy was responsible (负责的), I decided to let him go ahead. Another teacher had come in to help that day and,not being fearful of snakes, picked the snake up with the stem (柄) of her glasses so everyone could see it.     

FUNNY STORIES

One afternoon the students of Class Two had a physics lesson.West was talking to his deskmate Lake.The teacher was very an-gry. “Please stand up,West.”said the teacher.“You must listento me in class.”“You are wrong,Mr Fred.”said West.“I’m listening to you     

FUNNY STORIES

A Mr Jones had a few days’ holidays, so he decided to visit the mountains by train. During the trip he often put his head out of the window and looked at the mountains. Soon the wind blew his beautiful hat off. Mr Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window, too. The other people on the train laughed. They asked if his bag would     

FUNNY STORIES

I wasn’t a t hief One day I went out and left my key at home. When I came back, I couldn’t get in because my wife was away staying with her friends. I had to break a window, so I found a big stone. There was a great noise when I broke the glass, and I had to be careful when I reached through to turn the     

FUNNY STORIES

Johnson was a young soldier in a big camp(军营).During the week the soldiers always worked very hard.But it was Saturday,and all the young soldiers were free,so their officer said to them,"You can go to town this afternoon,but first I’m going to inspect(检查)you."Johnson came to the officer,and the officer said to him,"Your haiJohnson ran to the barber’s shop,but it was closed because it was Saturday.Johnson was very sad for a few minutes,but then he smiled and went back to the officer."Are my shoes clean now,sir?"he asked.The officer didn’t look at Johnson’s hair.He looked at the soldier’s shoes and said,"Yes,they’re much better now.You can go out.And next week,first clean your shoes,and then come to me."     

FUNNY STORIES

Three turtles Once there were three turtles (海龟) One day they decided to go on a picnic.When they got there,they realized they had forgotten the sodf.The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.A week went by,then a month,finally a year,when the two turtles said,"Oh,come on,and let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said,"If you do,I won't go!"     

FUNNY STORIES

Different Appetites Pat was a poor farmer with a large family.One morning,he woke up very early from cold and hunger.He decided to go shooting in a wood near his house.     

FUNNY STORIES

The Ol d Man’s Last Wordswho had three sons.Calling them together,hesaid,“Sons,my end is near.To my eldest sonI give half my camels,to my second one thirdand to my youngest one ninth.”Soon afterthese words he died.Now the old man left seventeen camels     

FUNNY STORIES

A One day Wood bought a donkey(驴)in the market;but while he was taking it home,two thieves followed him.One of them took the rope from the donkey’s neck and tied it round his friend’s neck.Then he went away with the donkey.     

FUNNY STORIES

正Mrs Black livedin a city.She wasvery rich and neverdid anythingat home.In the eveningshe often watchedTV and went to bedlate at night.She always got upby lunch time.She never took anyexercise,and she was getting fatter andfatter.It worriedher and she hadto go to see a doctorone day.The doctorlooked her overcarefully and said,"I'm sorry,madam.     

FUNNY STORIES

A Peter joined the army when he was eighteen,and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier.He did quite well in everything except shooting.One day he and his friends were practising their shooting,     

FUNNY READINGS

A Teacher: There are three words and pupils often use them in class. Do you know what they are?