小幽默(英文)

TOO MANY QUESTIONSThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle (轻笑) and went back to what he was doing. After awhile he turned to her and asked “You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you? ”The lady replied “Of course I do it is the Bible. ”     

数数总是管用的吗？(英文)

A young man couldn’t sleep well every night. He was always worried. So he went to see the doctor. The doctolooked over him carefully, but there was nothing wrong with him. The doctor told him to count from one to ten againand again.“Keep doing it till you fall asleep.”the doctor said.A few days later, the young man came to the doctor again. But to his surprise, the doctor found the young man waeven worse than before.“Didn’t you do as what I told you?”the doctor asked.“Yes, I did,”he…     

非谓语动词改错精练（一）

下列句子中各有一处错误,均属非谓语动词用错,请指出,并改正:1.You shouldn’t keep him to wait therein such cold weather for so long.2.I’d like you taking a message for myfather working in Hong Kong when you arethere next week.3.Looked out of the window of our hotelroom,we saw lots of mountains.4.The main trouble was their having notenough tools to help them make repairs.5.He made it know to his friends thathe did not want to go into politics.6.The doctor did what he could do anoperation on the …     

Stupid Orders

When Nasreddin was a boy,he never did what he was told,so his father always told him to do the opposite of what he wanted him to do.One day,when the two were bringing sacks of flour home on their donkeys,they had to cross a shallow river.When they were in the middle of it,one of the sacks on Nasreddin’s donkey began to slip,so his father said,"That sack is nearly in the water!Press down hard on it!"His father of course expected that he would do the opposite,but this time Nasreddin did what his     

疑难句型辨析(下)

六、名词性从句、状语从句和定语从句的混合①David says sounds right to Hellen. That蒺s why she has made up her mind to leave with him happens.A.Whatever, no matter whatB.No matter what, whateverC.No matter what, no matter whatD.Whatever, however②surprises me most is that she doesn蒺t even know the dif-ference between the two lies.A.What, where B.Whatever, which C.Where, which D.No matter what, where③advice he has been given, he did exactly he wanted to do.A.Ho…     

短文改错

A warm-heart nurse on her first day's work met a patient who had come to London like a traveler.She asked him if it was anything she could do for him.But he only waved his hands and said a few words she couldn't understand it. With a pleasant smile she asked him again and he just kept saying same words,but in a very low voice. Filling with pity for this man who had almost died so far away his native land,she rushed to the doctor     

恶魔双胞胎

An Austrian couple were visiting relatives in a remote mountain village when the woman began to go into labor.The nearest doctor was in a town five miles away.While their relatives did what they could to assist the new mother,the husband hurried off to get the doctor. A few hours later,the husband and the doctor arrived at the house to     

减肥(英文)

1.One day a very fat man went to see a doctor and asked the doctor to help him to lose weight.The doctor looked him over and said,"Oh,you will die in forty days."2.The fat man was very sad.After he re-turned home,he lay in bed all day long.He didn’t do anything and waited for hisdeath.With each passing day,he ate lessand less and was becoming thinner andthinner.3.Forty days passed,but he did not die.Hewaited for another day.Then he went tothe doctor and asked him,“Forty dayshave passed,bu…     

Humour Page

A young mother was having a consultation with a doctor. As they spoke, her 6-year-old son could clearly be heard disturbing the people in the waiting room - yet she made no attempt to restrain him."Clang!"Soon they heard some clattering in another room, but still she did nothing."Krak!Wham!"Finally, after a very loud crash, the woman told the doctor nonchalantly, "Oops. I hope you don't mind my little Jimmy playing in there."No, no, not at all," said the doctor calmly. "I'm sure he will calm down as soon as he finds the poison."     

A Clever Doctor

Mary I saw the doctor again today about my loss of memory. Helen What did he do then﹖ Mary He asked me to pay him in advance.A Clever Doctor!山东@石忠     

阅读理解训I练（六）篇

（A） A very new, young officer was at a station. He was on his way to visit his mother in another town, and he wanted to telephone her to tell her the time of this train, so that she could meet him at the station in her car. He looks in all his pockets, but found that he did not have the right money for the telephone, so he went outside and looked around for someone to held him.     

幽默与笑话(英文)

1.A Forgetful ManA man who was tired out went to bed as soon as he reached home.Suddenly it occurred to him that he had intended to do something thatevening.But as he could not remember what it was,he tossed and turnedin his bed for a long time.Finally th…     

Why Adam and Eve Lost Their Home

(1)Adam' and Eve are being pul out of the beautiful garden of Eden.(2)It is because they did something God told them not to do. God told them they could eat food from the trees of the garden. But from one tree God said not to eat, or else they would die. He kept that tree as his own.(3}One day when Eve was alone in the garden, a snake spoke to her. It told Eve to eat fruit from the tree from which God told them not to eat . Now, when Jehovah made snakes he did not make them so they could talk. So this     

Love Can Create Miracle

<正>An eight-year-old child heard her parents talking about her little brother. All she knew was that he was very sick and they had no money. Only a very expensive operation could save him now and there was no one to lend them the money.     

轻松一刻

My father, a doctor for nearly 30 years, was working on the seat belt in his car. Using a tube of super-adhensive, he was trying to glue part of the buckle back on. Suddenly, he shouted for my mother: "Lorraine! My fingers are stuck to the seat belt! Go find the package and see what it says I should do."     

The Story of Stone

This is a story which tells that there was a rich man who wished to do something for people. First he decided to find out whether they deserved his help. So he placed a very large stone in the center of a village, and hid nearby to see what would happen. One man came and complained1 about the stone in the road, but did not do anything.     

奔跑吧, 帕蒂!

At a young age,Patti Wilson was told by her doctor that she was an 1)epileptic.Her father,Jim Wilson,is a morning 2)jogger.One day,she smiled through her teenage 3)braces and said,"Daddy,what I'd really love to do is run with you every day,but I'm afraid I'll have a 4)seizure." Her father told her,"If you do,I know how to handle it,so let's start running !"     

A Miracle 奇迹

Tess was an eight-year-old girl One day she heard her Morn and Dad talking about her little brother, Andrew. All she knew was that he was very sick and they were completely out of money. Only a very costly surgery (外科手术) could save him now and it was looking like there was no one to loan them the money.     

STORIES

A A famous doctor once attended a little boy who was dangerously ill.Thanks to his skill and care his young patient got well,and soon able toget up and run about again.The child＇s mother was very grateful,andshe called on the doctor to thank him for what he had done for her son.＂Doctor,＂she said,＂you have saved my little boy＇s life.I don＇t know how to thank you enough.I felt that money alone can＇t repay you,     

苏格拉底

Socrates was born in Athen,Greece.He was one of the wisest and bravest teachers in the world.All his life he was poor because he never asked his pupils to pay for what he taught them.He taught for the love of wisdom,not for money.Unlike other philosophers,Socrates was interested in how ordinary people ought to behave and think.He did not just tell his pupils what he thought they should do,in face,he was fond of saying that he himself knew nothing.Instead,he would talk about their answers and make them talk too.