幽默两则

究竟是谁害怕?我的邻居给我们讲起他带着他那两岁半的儿子外出旅行的事。那是他们父子头一次单独外出。     

闭目以养神

1、闭目静心当日常诸事让你头昏脑胀之时,找一清静空寂之地,正襟端坐,双目闭合,久则心平气和、头脑清晰。2、闭目降气凡遇愤愤不平或遭受屈辱、暴躁难耐之时,要理智地控制感情,离开是非之地。同时用双手食指端轻轻压在眼睑上,揉摩至眼珠发热发胀,便觉胸膛闷塞顿开,肝火胃气下降,躁怒平息,心情和缓。3、闭目行悦当你忧郁悲伤、失望空虚、心烦意乱之时,退避静舍,独坐闭目,眼珠上视,神聚头顶,微微仰面昂首,回忆以往得意欢愉之事,即觉心神平衡、信心倍增,悲伤烦乱之情逐渐消失。4、闭目意驰当事不如意、若有所失、烦闷终日时,闭目抬头,意想浩渺…     

小幽默欣赏

WHOSE MISTAKE?Teacher:(Looking through Toby9s homework)I wonder how oneperson could make so many mistakes!Toby:It wasn9t one person,sir.Father helped me.谁的错误?教师:(查看托比的家庭作业)我真不明白一个人怎么能出这么多错误!托比:老师,这不是一个人的错误,我爸爸帮我做了一部分。WOOLTeacher:What do we get from sheep?Boy:Wool.Teacher:You are quite right.And what do we make from wool?Boy:I don9t know.Teacher:Well,what9s your coat made of?Boy:My coat was made from my father9s old coat.羊毛…