Money as Relational Struggle: Communicatively Negotiating Cultural Discourses in Romantic Relationships

Using the lens of Relational Dialectics Theory, this study sought to uncover how competing U.S. cultural financial discourses are negotiated in people’s everyday conversations with their romantic partner. The investigation uncovered that in multiple and varied ways, participants understood money to be a major source of tension in their romantic relationships. One overarching discursive struggle animated participants’ financial talk with their partners: “money is everything” versus “money isn’t everything.” Within this struggle, participants communicatively negotiated the cultural value of money in an attempt to marginalize its power and potential negative influences on relational and economic well-being. Although money is critical in helping people meet their basic needs, this study suggests that deemphasizing the importance of money as all-consuming and omnipotent has the potential to alter couples’ financial and relational well-being.