律细而今亦大难--《槐聚诗存》声律摭谈

钱锺书旧体诗创作早在上世纪三十年代即已蜚声诗坛,纸贵洛阳。然晚年所定《槐聚诗存》,却未能充分满足读的期许。他追求“律细”,刻意经营,主要侧重于诗艺,但时有欠安;在声律方面,则无论平仄音韵,多有疏失之处。本分析了他的36首诗作,并对其中26首提出修润意见。凡所批评,一以旧体诗传统格律为指归,明其率略,求其惬当,并商诸方家。

Exquisite Artistry Is Now Yet Another Hard Nut--A Few Brief Remarks on the Tonal Patterns of Huaiju's Remaining Poems

Qian Zhongshu won a great reputation in the poets circle for his archaic poetry composition as early as 1930s, and enjoyed, for a time, overwhelmingly popularity. Huaiju s Remaining Poems compiled by his own hand in his late years, however, don't live up to the readers' expectation. Qian is in pursuit of "rigorous rules," with an emphasis on artistry by means of deliberate arranging and managing, yet his efforts do not always bear the right fruit. Not a few slips are found either in tones or in rhymes. This paper analyses 36 of his poems with a few tips for polishing 26 of them. Carried out under the traditional rules and regulations of archaic poetry writing, all my criticisms are aimed at pointing out the neglected, approaching the more appropriate, and inviting debates and discussions from experts.