替朋友喝酒

A man always went to the same bar at the same time every day and asked for one glass of beer. He drank it and then asked for one more.     

It's Dangerous for Me

A man always went to the same bar at the same time every day and asked for twoglasses of beer, He would drink them and then ask for two more. One day the barman asked him: “Why do you always ask for two glasses of beer? Why don’t you order one bigglass instead?”“Because I don’t like to drink alone”, the man answered.“I drink with myfriend.” But a few days later the man came in and asked for only one beer. “Oh, has your friend died?”asked the barman.     

The Secret of Success

1.One day,a young man wholiked doing nothing asked AlbertEinstein to tell him the secret ofsuccess.And Einstein wrote him aformula A=x+y+z. 2.Seeing this.the young man gotpuzzled. “What does it really mean?”     

小幽默

A drunk(醉汉)walks into a bar and says to che bartender(酒吧间男招待), “Bartender,buy everyone in the house adrink,pour(倒)yourselfone,and give me the bill(账单).” So,the bartender does just that and hands the man a billfor $57.The drunk says.“I haven’t got it.” The bartender slaps(掌击)the guy around a few timesthen throws him out into the street. The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and     

Headwork

One day a man came to a hospital.“What is the matter with you ”asked the doctor.     

Mr Shaw and a Young Man

Mr Shaw wrote a lot of nice novels(小说) and all the world knew him. He didn't like the arrogant(傲慢的) rich men and often laughed at them, so most people liked him.Mr Shaw was often asked to all kinds of parties. A lot of important men hoped to know him. One day a famous singer asked him to her party. When Mr Shaw came in, all the people stood up except a young man. The singer hurried to meet him and asked him to sit down next to the young man. The young man's father was one of the riches…     

双胞胎

A. The Same Mother 同一个妈妈Billy and Davy were twin brothers. And they were in the same class. One day the teacher asked the class to write a composition "My Mother". Davy wrote one and Billy just copiedit.     

STORIES ABOUT FAMOUS PERSONS

A story About Mozart One day Mozart saw an old man playing the violin at the street corner.He found that the old man was playing one of his compositions (乐曲).The old man played for some time,but the cap in front of him was still empty-nobody put any money into the cap.Mozart asked the old man," Do you often play compositions by Mozart?" The old man answered." Now everybody knows Mozart and likes his compositions.""Do you make a living by playing the violin?" The old man said he did.Mozart took over the violin from the old man and began to play.     

幽默与笑话(英文)

1. Still in the Same Cemetery A man asked an acquaintance how his wife was; then, suddenly re- membering that she had been dead, she blurted out, “Does she still live in the same cemetery?” 2. The Juice in the Downpour It had been a long, hot summer, and a Vermonter was mighty glad when the rain came. One day while it was raining, he was out on the pa- tio having breakfast. “It felt so good, ”he told a friend.“I just went ahead and ate in the downpour. The only trouble was that it too…     

游过鳄鱼池

A rich man owned a large house with an outdoor swimming pool.He also owned a crocodile.He kept it in the pool.One day he asked his friends and a lot of people around his house to come to a party."How about a swim?" He asked.The pool looked very nice and clean but no one dared to go in for     

你已经聪明了

1.One day,a young man went to seea doctor. 2.“Can you give me a pill to make mesmarter?”he asked the doctor.     

Chicago Safe?

A man was telling his co-worker(同事)one day that the company wastranaferring him to Chicago.He explained that he was going to quit(辞职)before he had to move there. When asked why,he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crimeand did not desire to risk being robbed just to get to work.     

Exactness

Mr.Smith liked to be exact. One day when he was walking in the street, a man came over and asked him: “Excuse me, but where‘s the nearest bookshop?”     

减肥(英文)

1.One day a very fat man went to see a doctor and asked the doctor to help him to lose weight.The doctor looked him over and said,"Oh,you will die in forty days."2.The fat man was very sad.After he re-turned home,he lay in bed all day long.He didn’t do anything and waited for hisdeath.With each passing day,he ate lessand less and was becoming thinner andthinner.3.Forty days passed,but he did not die.Hewaited for another day.Then he went tothe doctor and asked him,“Forty dayshave passed,bu…     

饥饿的蚱蜢

A 1)grasshopper spent the summer 2)hopping in the sun and singing to his heart's content.One day,an ant went hurrying by,looking very hot and 3)weary. "Why are you working on such a lovely day?" asked the grasshopper. "I'm collecting food for the winter,"said the ant,"and I suggest you do the same." And off she went,helping the other ants to carry food to their store.     

20只猫与一个猫碗(英文)

A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked veryold. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat , was lying besidethe bowl. The man did not want the farmer to know that he was interested in bowl. So he said to him softly, “What anice cat you have? Will you sell it to me?”“How much will you give me for the cat?”the farmer opened his eyes and asked.“Twenty dollars. Would t…     

朋友的箱子

1.One day,Mr Smith got on the train,sat down on one seat and then put his caseon another seat.2.An old man came up,“Sir,is thisyour case?”he asked.     

短文改错

A warm-heart nurse on her first day's work met a patient who had come to London like a traveler.She asked him if it was anything she could do for him.But he only waved his hands and said a few words she couldn't understand it. With a pleasant smile she asked him again and he just kept saying same words,but in a very low voice. Filling with pity for this man who had almost died so far away his native land,she rushed to the doctor     

谐趣园

1In a restaurant,Many people were drinking to-gether. One of them asked the man next to him,“Have you many friends who share the same interestin drinking with you?”“Yes,but it was before I spent all my money.”     

Jokes and humor

PPart-time Job 兼职工作 When my son was a high-school sophomore he got a part-time job-sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles. “How was your first day﹖“ I asked. “It was great Dad“ he replied “I got to talk to some good-looking girls.“ Since Stephen is not very talkative I asked “What did you say to them﹖“ “Do you prefer paper or plastic﹖“ A Real Watch Dog 真正的导盲犬 A blind man walked into a bank with his seeingeye dog导盲犬 that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the ba...